As May Approaches....

The stiff breeze that sweetly stung my overheated skin and the stiffness in my joints were telltale signs that the rain would be moving in soon. As I lay in bed, I contemplated my options. I could ignore the predicting factors and just go to sleep, knowing that if the rain arrived while I was asleep there would surely be enough direct evidence coming through my window to find my head and wake me up.

Option number two involved getting up to close the window, which I truly did not want to do, and would eliminate the cool breeze which sought to regulate the temperature in my room. The question really became one of sleep continuity. I was tired. Tired enough that I wouldn't notice the breeze, or lack thereof, much after I laid my head to the pillow. I probably would notice the rain dotting my face in the middle of the night though. As I have been having a hard enough time sleeping straight through nights recently, I decided to close the window and at least gave myself a chance at continuous sleep. No such luck.

Throughout last night I tossed and turned in my sleep, never fully waking up when I did so, but never staying fully asleep when I did. Dreams are hard to remember, although I do remember one where I hung out with my cousin Johnny for a while and gave him a BIG hug when I saw him. I went to bed knowing someone close to me needed a big hug, and I guess my subconscious just carried that on into my dream world to the first loved one that I saw.

I just find it strange that he was the one who showed up in my dream. Johnny and I have never been close. I can't swear that we've ever had a conversation. During family parties, all of the cousins usually hung out in their own general age groups. I was in a large one, with another large one slightly older than us, then a smaller one even older than that. Johnny is one of the oldest of my older cousins. Our groups usually didn't even cross paths at family parties.

Of course as we all got older, the age difference became less and less of a factor for all the cousins. Now all the cousins aged from their younger 20s to older 30s, even 40s maybe for a couple, can all hang out and carry on normal everyday conversations and have a good time together. In the last few years, I have gotten to know my older and younger cousins much better than I had ever thought I would.

Johnny never became part of that for me because he moved to California some time ago. I don't know exactly when it was, but I have to imagine it was at least 10-12 years ago, and I don't know that I've seen him since. Johnny's parents, my Aunt Di and Uncle John, are always people I seek out at family parties, and so are their other children.

That part of my family has a sense of humor much like mine, and is always fun to hang out with. I'm sure I'll see that side of Johnny one day too, and maybe I'll give him a big hug. OK, probably not gonna give him a hug....but it sounded good, right?

THIS

Day Number....Whatever

TEMPLATE

Current weight: 241.0 lbs

SUCKS

Not a single day in the gym last week. Didn't stick to the diet all that much. I am actually surprised I only gained one pound. Unfortunately I don't see this week being much better with all the food that will be floating around work the next few days.

WTF?

My original plan was to lose about 10-15 lbs this month so I could really get it into high gear come May. My graduated diet really puts me on lockdown this Friday. No more bargaining with myself for cheat meals. I'll have a set number of meals between cheat times, which will gradually start to disappear throughout the month. I'm not conditioned for it, and it's going to be tough. I am also probably going to be crabby for the first few days, so tread lightly. ;-)