FOUL!

There is no other way to describe my mood today aside from foul. I'm a very laid back guy for the most part, and it usually takes a lot to get to me. Whatever IT is, it must have gotten to me. I suppose most, if not all, of IT has to do with the 9 to 5. For the last few months, things just have not gone the way anyone has expected. And things just seem to keep getting worse. Some issue(s) that didn't involve me at all have affected things for me negatively where my schedule is concerned.

I knew it would take a little while to iron things out for my new position, but it's been a little too long, and hasn't exactly been ironed out the way it should have been, nor the way I need it to be for school....which was the ONLY concerned I voiced when offered the job. This semester won't be a total wash. I will be able to take at least a couple classes, but with the schedule I'll be on the next two or three weeks, I will surely burn out before we even hit midterms. And that is only taking school, work, and sleep hours into consideration....I can't even begin to figure in my personal life the way things stand right now.

I guess I have been spoiled, lucky, or just flexible enough in my life so far that I've never had a job interfere with my personal/social life. My job in high school affected my ability to hang out my last couple years there, but I preferred most of my work friends over my school friends anyway. I seemed to get along better with an older crowd back then. Other than that, I've always had ample time to be with friends and/or loved ones no matter what shift I was working. That really doesn't look like it's going to be the case now for a while.

"Tell me about your father...."

One of the biggest reasons I never wanted to follow in my father's footsteps (and both grandfathers, as well as several uncles) when it came to work was the crazy shifts I saw my dad work when I was a kid. I got used to his shifts changing on a whim when someone "bumped" him off his job, and he was powerless to do anything but show up when they wanted him there because he was the low man on the totem pole in terms of seniority. Even the last few years before he retired, when only two people in the entire state had a higher seniority number in his position than he did, he was still worried about being bumped off his hours/days from time to time.

Now I find myself faced with working a similar shift for an indeterminable length of time as the one I remember being the worst for him when I was young. My father is a much stronger man than I am in many ways, and working that shift was extremely hard on him. Basically it was a back fill position spanning all three shifts each week. One midnight shift, two afternoon shifts, two day shifts, and two consecutive days off in the middle of the week. I'm now facing two mids, followed by a day off which I will most likely sleep away because that single day off is followed by a day shift....which is then followed by another day off and two consecutive afternoon shifts. Plus school. Not a full time school schedule mind you, because I can't find a full time schedule that will work with my shifts and days off, but still two pretty intense classes that I will need to really apply myself to do well in.

Now, my dad didn't have the school schedule to worry about....but he did have me to deal with. I don't know which is worse, but I'd say I am getting the better of it there. I'm sure dealing with me has never been all that easy....I'd choose spending time learning about crazy people and how to figure out what is wrong them over dealing with a young me any day, and twice on Sunday....well, as long as my Sunday work schedule permits it of course.

A Delicate Balance

Supposedly every cloud has a sliver lining. My silver lining just may end up being a silver bullet. Whether I fancy myself a vampire, werewolf, or just a mortal man, that silver bullet could do plenty of damage to me. While my father had no choice but to show up when they told him to because of his relatively low seniority level, I have a very high seniority level in my current position. I could pull rank and force them to even things up a little more, or even completely take over someone else's shift. As far as I know, only one person can outbid me. The problem with that is how many toes I would step on....and the likelihood of those toes coming back to kick me in the ass at a later date.

I've already seen enough petty shit go down to worry about it happening to me....and I get along with everyone I work with very well. I could only imagine the odds would increase tenfold if I pissed off a few people in my area. Unlike a standard office job where you can file your paperwork and do most everything you need to accomplish all by yourself, this job requires a lot of teamwork for a lot of different things. No one knows every little detail about how or what we do in every instance. We all have our own skill set and level of knowledge. While I have seniority over almost everyone, I am seriously lacking experience with just about everything in this new position and have to rely on someone else multiple times per shift to help me out, even though I am technically supervising them. That in and of itself can easily lead to animosity, and if I start throwing my weight around to get my way....I'm pretty sure I'll end up with a target on my back. Even if I don't, I'm still going to feel that way. Then I will be working paranoid and double checking every single thing that someone else does....I can only imagine that will also create a bit of animosity.

So here I am....trying to figure out how to balance this all and keep the attitudes and egos in check. I am a wonderful problem solver....but I am pretty stumped at the moment. How long would I have to suffer through this shift before I wouldn't be seen as a bully for pulling rank and taking someone else's shift? Will it be longer than I can keep myself from falling seriously behind in school? What will happen with my friends and loved ones in this time? I already don't get to see the people I want to nearly enough....

One question leads to another, then another....and so on. At least with all these shift changes, I'll have a decent amount of time to think it over before I report to work tomorrow night for the first of four consecutive midnight shifts.