Monday, June 01, 2009

June?


Hard to believe that it's already June. It seems like only yesterday I was on the Las Vegas strip with Millennium Man ringing in the New Year for 2000, now in just seven months we will be ushering in 2010.

Anyway, not much time today....so no in-depth philosophical mumbo-jumbo, just the facts.

There are a few things I am looking forward to this month, one of them being the end of my spring semester. It's really starting to wear on me, and I can't wait to get it over with. There are a couple events with friends that I can't wait for. This Saturday a few of us are going to Kalamazoo for the night to hang out at in the pub at Bell's Brewery. I think it's going to be a great time, but part of what I was looking forward to was the trip out there. Now that the weather forecast calls for some rain on both Saturday and Sunday, it looks like taking a bike out there isn't really an option.

Next week, the friend I went to NIN/JA with is having a little birthday BBQ. Hoping the weather will be nice that day, so I can ride out there too. Speaking of the NIN/JA show we went to on Sunday, it was a good time and the perfect way to rock out the end of May. In a future post, I will post a pic or two that she took.

The following week, I have another BBQ party for a friend's birthday....but I know this one will have better food, just because it's Justin's bday and he'll make sure all his fat friends are satisfied. Another reason to look forward to this party is the fact that I can turn it into an overnight affair if I want. I have a garage to keep my bike in for the night, and always plenty of floor space at the Kabbage/Juice household.

The last weekend in June is still open, and I thought about maybe going up north....but I will probably just wait until the 4th of July to do that. It will be my first weekend out school this year, and I am sure I will need to do something to exercise my freedom....then again, if each weekend until then is already busy, is school really limiting my freedom in the first place?

Time has run out on me again, and I must end this post a little abruptly.

Saturday, May 30, 2009

You = blog slacker!


So I got a text message from a friend this morning....any guesses as to what that text said?

She's right, I have no valid argument for neglecting my blog. I have been pressed for time, but it doesn't take that long to put something small up here....as demonstrated by my last post. So here I am early on a Saturday afternoon, trying to figure out what I want to do first with all the things I'd like to get done today.

Some quick work on the X seems to be the number one priority at the moment, with getting a run in sometime right up there too. I promised the dogs a walk, but I really doubt they remember that now as they snore away, Guinness on the floor and Kira on her couch.

I kinda feel sorry for them on the weekends. During the week they have very structured days, and know exactly what time they will be eating and/or going out in the yard. Guinness will actually walk up to me at 4:30 and let me know it's time for him to eat dinner if it's not obvious that I am already on my way to get it for him.

The flip side there is that they have less time to spend with Mark or I since we are both on days now. So on the weekends, they have less structure, but more time with me. I guess I shouldn't feel sorry for them then....who wouldn't give up a little structure to have more time with me? ;-)

Hell, as I think about it....I have to get dog food today too. There's my top priority now. Making sure they have enough food tonight to eat dinner. If Kira wasn't such a hater, I would take them to Petsmart with me as part of their walk. As it is though, she'd just start a fight and have Guinness finish it for her.

Alright, I think I have done my bloggy duties for the day....hope someone is happy now. :-P I honestly would write more, but my left shoulder is killing me today and typing on my desktop is making it worse. Maybe a HOT shower will help me with the pain. If not, there is always the hot tub....hmmm, I might have a new top priority now. :-D

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

20 Minutes

Can I get a decent post up in only 20 minutes? Most of the time I have trouble with the format that I use after a picture has been added, so I would bet on no....but I'm still gonna try.

I'm writing now, and in such short time, because I shouldn't be writing this at all, but I want to. The thing is, I can't really right what I want to right now, so this is what I am reduced to.

I should be reading, actually I should be writing an essay about what I should have already read....but I have procrastinated once again, opting for a night out with Mark and Mike to watch the Wings over staying home and watching while getting everything done online that I needed. It was even suggested to me by someone else to go home after school rather than go out....but when do I listen to advice like THAT?

I feel kinda bad sometimes about that actually. The devil and angel on my shoulder each get equal time to present their arguments....actually, the angel really gets the lion's share. The problem for the angel is not the time or the sound advice, but me. Any protest at all from the devil gets acute attention, and usually action.

While he is often wasting his breath, the poor little angel won't stop trying. He's always there afterward too with an "I told you so" if he was right, but he's also cool about being wrong.

With these two always on my shoulder, there are few times I make an uninformed decision. Another problem though, where do I normally choose to get my information from? That's right, I turn to my devilish side.

We all have choices to make in life. Each day is rife with them. Though many of these choices have a bigger impact on your life than you can imagine, there are some other choices though that you know will have a huge impact on you. These choices are hard to make with that little red bugger talking into my ear.

Lately I have had some pretty important things to think about, and this little friend of mine has had all sorts of things to say. What to dismiss, what to do, how far to go....and the list goes on. So far I seem to be toeing the line very well in all cases, but when it comes to things I know I shouldn't do, but desperately want to do, I really don't need his "help".
AND WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE IT IS I WANT TO DO?
Alas my 20 minutes is up, and I haven't even found a picture yet. now I'll just have to finish this in my head and work out a way to quiet down the devil at certain times. I want to extinguish the fire underneath his arse when it comes to certain decisions I have to make....anyone out here know someone that can help me put out a fire?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Fitting


It's only fitting that the sunrise was obscured by clouds this morning. I know it came up of course, but seeing it linger behind that dark blanket in the sky made me laugh....I didn't want to get out from under the covers this morning either.

Friday, May 15, 2009

Random Survey

Instead of reading my assignments, I am going to pass my time with this survey from someone elses blog.

1. First thing you wash in the shower? Hair

2. What color is your favorite hoodie? Orange

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Yes, assuming her conscience doesn't get to her again.

4. Do you plan outfits? Only for Halloween

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now? It's Frisky Friday

6. Whats the closest thing to you that's red? A couch

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having. Mark got himself arrested for littering out of my truck. The cops went on to search the vehicle because of that....the only thing I could think was, "That's no longer a legal search...."

8. Did you meet anybody new today? Yes, I usually meet someone new every day.

9. What are you craving right now? A nap

10. Do you floss? Flossin? I thought you said your name was Munson.

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Kabbage Juice

12. Are you emotional? I am the antithesis of emotional.

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000? No

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? Both

15. Do you like your hair? Sure

16. Do you like yourself? Yes

17. Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? If he was paying, why not?

18. What are you listening to right now? Nothing

19. Are your parents strict? They were the right amount of strict and lenient depending on the situation.

20. Would you go sky diving? Yes

21. Do you like cottage cheese? Yes

22. Have you ever met a celebrity? Many

23. Do you rent movies often? No

24. Is there anything sparkly in the room? Ice in my water

25. How many countries have you visited? 2

26. Have you made a prank phone call? Yes

27. Ever been on a train? I've actually driven a few

28. Brown or white eggs? White

29.Do you have a cell-phone? Yes

30. Do you use chap stick? No

31. Do you own a gun? I've between weapons at the moment

32. Can you use chop sticks? Probably not

33. Who are you going to be with tonight? Don't know....all I know is that whoever that may be is one lucky person.

34. Are you too forgiving? I can be, but everyone deserves more chances if they are sincerely trying.

35. Ever been in love? Definitely

36. What is your best friend(s) doing tomorrow? Probably eating too much

37. Ever have cream puffs? Dunno

38. Last time you cried? Not sure

39. What was the last question you asked? Isn't he a free agent next year?

40. Favorite time of the year? Riding season

41. Do you have any tattoos? Not yet

42. Are you sarcastic? Maybe

43. Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? No, but I read the Bradbury story which inspired that name.

44. Ever walked into a wall? Yes

45. Favorite color? Silver

46. Have you ever slapped someone? Lol. Yeah....

47. Is your hair curly? No

48. What was the last CD you bought? Fantasies by Metric

49. Do looks matter? Yes

50. Could you ever forgive a cheater? Probably, depends on the situation.

51. Is your phone bill sky high? No

52. Do you like your life right now? Ask me in a few months

53. Do you sleep with the TV on? Only when the Wings are playing west coast playoff games....no more of those thankfully.

54. Can you handle the truth? Yes

55. Do you have good vision? Eh

56. Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? I don't hate anyone

57. How often do you talk on the phone? Not very

58. The last person you held hands with? Jamie

59. What are you wearing? Can't say, but I can say that I look good.

60.What is your favorite animal? Elephant.

61. Where was your default picture taken? Riding in Ohio

62. Can you hula hoop? No

63. Do you have a job? Yes

64. What was the most recent thing you bought? A tire

65. Have you ever crawled through a window? Yes.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Funny the Way it Is



It's mornings like this that I could just kick myself for not having my camera with me. Taking this picture with my phone just does not do it justice.

Lately I've been really lucky to have just a few minutes each morning to watch the sun come up. The sun rising is very symbolic to me for so many reasons, and it puts a little more pep in my step every time I get to see something like this. It's almost enough to make up for getting up SO effing early. ;-)

I'm desperately in need of that pep today too. My sleep pattern is thrown out of whack every weekend, and it's not easy for me to get it back on track. Taking a long nap in the middle of the day yesterday didn't help me one bit. I would have been better off sleeping til 1am and starting my day a little early. I never would have considered it, even after Mark suggested it, but in hindsight, it might have been a lot better for me.

I was happy to see a couple people commenting on the massages yesterday....now only if I had a volunteer who lived close enough to take advantage of my desire to practice. My hands are getting weaker by the day people, help me out. :-)

Let's get down brass tacks. How much for the ape?

Morning Music 5-12-09

1. Funny the Way it Is- Dave Matthews Band. I don't remember ever hearing this song before. I found the lyrics and the overall concept of the song very interesting. It is funny the way some things go, and how we perceive them. All those little things in life we make bigger than they should be. All those coincidences could be just that, coincidences without a greater meaning. All those things that you believe must have happened for a reason could just be the luck of the draw while playing the hand you are dealt. Just because you believe something, doesn't make it so. Human will and determination are an amazing force when focused. If you truly believe something, sometimes there is no way at all to change your mind. Whether it's believing you are destined to rule the world, or completely convinced of the recognition of your soulmate in someone else you can justify pursuing it at all costs, damn the consequences. People who are normally very heady, intelligent individuals can turn into irrational fools because of some random event they perceive as "meant to be." While I have never tried to rule the world, I have been guilty of this myself.

Yes, this is how my brain works when I listen to song lyrics. Welcome to the mind of a madman.

2. Where'd You Go?- Fort Minor. The first song came on the radio when I started the car, and this was the first iPod song for me. Not exactly what I was hoping for when I hit 'shuffle songs'. I need something to make me think less, not more.

3. The Wizard- Black Sabbath. Thank you Mr. iPod. A song I can finally use to start winding down how high strung I am right now. I know this song when it comes on, but when it's over I can't think of the lyrics or how it goes. In one ear, out the other. Perfect for the way I feel today. Hopefully as it goes through my head and leaves it will take some of the crap up there with it.
:-)
4. Love Song- Snake River Conspiracy. Well, scratch that idea....here come all those thoughts rushing back. LOL. Ya know, I've never seen the video for this, and I don't even know if there is one....but I have a wonderful idea for a video to go along with it. I can see it in my head now. Impressive cover, I must say.

5. I Want You- Kings of Leon. Looks like I can pretty much rule out Mr. iPod trying to help me out today. Seems like he's only got one thing on his mind at the moment. "Just say 'I want you, exactly like I used to' cause baby this is only bringing me down" ....is there anyone that can't identify with that?

6. This Ain't a Scene, it's an Arms Race- Fall Out Boy. I have no idea what this song is about, and I really don't care. I just like listening to it....and singing along.

7. Lightness- Death Cab for Cutie. Le Sigh. Talk about thoughts running through my head. This band always makes me think. Sometimes I love it, other times I can do without it.

your heart is a river that flows from your chest
through every organ
your brain is the dam
and i am the fish who can't reach the core

oh, instincts are misleading
you shouldn't think what you're feeling
they don't tell you what you know you should want
:-D
Wouldn't it be nice if everything you should want was the same as what you do want? Ah, the moral and ethical dilemmas of being human. Where are the clear defined lines? Which lines can be crossed? Which lines should be crossed? Which lines cannot be crossed? Can you read between the lines and find your answer in the gray areas? Funny the way it is, no?

8. When You Were Young- The Killers. More quotable lyrics....this makes it much easier to fill space.

They say the devil's water
It ain't so sweet
You don't have to drink right now
But you can dip your feet
Every once in a little while

You sit there in your heartache
Waiting on some beautiful boy to
To save you from your old ways
You play forgiveness
Watch it now
Here he comes

9. Land of Confusion- Disturbed. Unlike some people, I can appreciate this version. It may not be the original Genesis version, but honestly if you listen to it....it does kinda sound like Phil Collins if he decided to really rock this out.

10. Mannequin- Katy Perry. Funny the way it is....I've been characterized like this before. Sometimes it helps to be a little robotic and unfeeling. Maybe the characterization is somewhat accurate....it's just not always the case.

Monday, May 11, 2009

CC

It's hard to believe this is my 200th post.

It's bee a little less than 5 years since I started this random blog. When I started it, I surely would have bet that I'd have at least 200 posts much sooner than this....or not at all. I wouldn't have even gotten here this fast if it wasn't for some great inspiration over the last few months.

So what do I have on tap for number 200? Just let me warn you now, I feel like awfully long-winded today and have a few different topics to help fuel that today. I guess I'll just start off with what's gone down since I left work on Friday.

Friday:

With the X out of commission. I rode Betty into work on Friday. Turned out to be a good thing too, since she's my utility bike. She's not flashy or pretty like the X, but she never lets me down. She's also very aggressive and likes to get dirty. Basically, my type of girl.

Anyway, the forecast when I went to bed on Thursday made no mention of rain at all on Friday. The forecast after I got to work was much different, calling for rain between the hours of 1 and 3. AKA, my commute and errand time.

The sky was overcast, and I could see some pockets of of rain here and there around downtown. I was happy to see that none of the rain pockets was currently over any part of my commute. Though when I pulled out of the garage, that happiness faded fast. I didn't feel the rain, but the spots started to form on my visor.

Thankfully it never rained hard wherever I was the whole time on the bike, but in many places I road through it had, leaving standing water here and there on the roads. I made it through my freeway ride in one piece, though it sure seemed on girl on a cell phone desperately tried to make sure otherwise, and pulled off heading to the bank.

About half a mile or so from the bank , I turn onto Ecorse. The last turn before I am actually at the parking lot for he bank. With the pavement wet and already a little slick, I make the turn and start to gently roll onto the throttle. After it's already too late to make a difference, I notice I am going to go right over a manhole cover.

I come off the throttle a bit before I go over it, but the rear wheel just slides completely across it. I nearly low-sided before the tire gripped again, and then I nearly high-sided with my correction. I attribute my crash-free turn there to three different things; the weight of the bike, my familiarity with the bike, the fact that I was riding single.

Betty is a lot lighter than the X. She is what is referred to as a standard style motorcycle. You sit straight up on a standard....not hunched over like a sport bike, not laid back like a cruiser. Standard bikes are also historically kind of ugly too. Nothing extra on the bike to make it look any better....or to weigh it down. Had I gotten such quick and extreme side to side action like that on the X, I surely would have gone over high-side with my over correction.

Also, had I not had a couple years under my belt on this particular bike, I probably would have laid it down as soon as I started sliding. Had I had a passenger on the back....no way I recover from that either. Other than that, no incidents at all as I ran errands after work. Got home a little damp, but nothing to really complain about. At least my phone didn't gush water as I opened it after this trip.

Rode to my last class for Winter semester later that evening, then up to a bar near my house to meet up with Denise, Bryan, and Michael. From there we decided another place nearby would be good and I would drive everyone else who was willing to walk to my house and jump in my car. After bar number two, we head to one a little further away, but still in town. Maybe 3-4 miles from my house.

When we get there, Denise throws out the Drama card and says she's going to stay in the car for the whole 2 hours Mark, Michael, Bryan, and I are hanging out. To that I pull out my Reverse card, by throwing my truck into reverse, and took her home. I had somewhat planned on her acting this way, which is why I made sure to limit our choices close local places. I also yelled UNO! as I dropped her off....joke for one there.

The rest of the night was smooth until the end when Bryan (Denise's husband, and the only one with me that night that's not a blood relative) offered to pay the tab. Mark checked the bill before we left, and saw that he had only left her a two dollar tip on either a $48 OR $50 tab. We eventually took care of that and got Bryan home without him puking in my truck....again.

Saturday:

All through Friday night and early Saturday morning, a few weird dreams kept me awake for more than half the time i was trying to sleep. Not too long after I finally fell asleep, my alarm goes off....I reset it to give myself 90 minutes for another much needed REM cycle. Although I needed the sleep, that put me behind on my plans for the day and I ended up leaving for our safety meeting without my jeans fully drying.

After the meeting we headed to Nemo's for a couple burgers, then out to Bookies for a late BDay celebration for Mark. The lack of sleep and the long day caught up to me there, and I wasn't my usual talkative self....even with Kelley.

Sunday:

Woke up to an alarm clock for the second weekend day....shouldn't there be a law against that? Had breakfast with my mom, uncle, and cousins at the new Parthenon Coney Island not too far from my house. Unfortunately my mom snuck up to pay everyone's bill before the waitress even brought it out to us. I would have stopped her, but I know Denise and Bryan are always looking for a free meal, and if my uncle was letting go with just a little protest, I was ok with it too. I know she enjoys doing that anyway, so I wasn't going to stop her on mother's day.

A few hours later, I got to treat her to game 5 of the Wings/Ducks series for her mother's day present. The seats were pretty good, 15 rows from the ice directly behind the net on the visitor's side. We got to see a lot of action in our end throughout the game, and got very lucky to have quiet Ducks fans right in front of us. They didn't stand up once during a play that we wanted to see.

After the Wings took out the Ducks 4-1, I drove back home and made my mom come in so Mark and I could take pictures of her with her "Price is Right" check before she took off on her hour long ride home. We watched the end of X-3 and the beginning of Top Gun while I waited to hear that she made it home safe, and I promptly jumped in bed.

I fought connection problems on my laptop all night, then finally turned the thing off around 1am. After that, I tossed and turned and stretched and scratched and sighed and got up for a glass of water....basically anything but sleep. That lasted til about 3am, and when I finally fell asleep the first dream I had woke me up for good. One of my recently confessed nightmare situations became an actual nightmare last night. It all seemed so real, my heart ached when I woke up....and I still can't get it out of my head.

Speaking of today and my lack of sleep, it's amazing how a state of mind can determine what you notice in a certain situation. If you are happy or in love, you notice all the great things around you. When you are depressed or heartbroken, you notice all the things wrong around you. When you are sleep deprived, you notice the oddest things. Today, I noticed the lights and light pattern in the same hallway I walk through every morning. I honestly had no idea about any of the lights before today, but now I am pretty much an expert.

After arriving and settling in, I had to write out the date a few times for some items. 5-11-09....although the first thing I filled out said 5-11-02. Hmm, only 7 years off. Then I realized that today would have been my seventh wedding anniversary with Chris. I'm not one to dwell on the past, but that made me think about what everything would be like now if we had actually gone through with it. Different is the only way I can describe what I came up with.

So with all these thoughts running around my sleepless head, I needed to start up my morning playlist a little early today....as in right after my shower. I headed over to my computer and fired up a playlist, hit random, and listened to the first song at home. Next two songs were "random" finds in the car because I accidentally hit the wrong button and got an unexpected station. It all worked out for the best though.

Morning Music 5-11-09

1. Falling in Love in a Coffeeshop- Landon Pigg. Interesting choice computer. I really like this song, other than the chorus. The way he sings it give the song character, and I appreciate that, but the rest of the lyrics are just fan-effing-tastic and I think the chorus takes a little away from that. I chuckled yesterday when I saw this was on an AT&T commercial, and about picture messaging too. The irony was not lost on me there....you can look at my Verizon bill and see that. Ooh....I should probably pay them.

2. White Wedding- Billy Idol. "Hey little sister, who's your Superman? Hey little sister, who's the one you want? There's nothin fair in this world, and there's nothin safe in this world, and there is nothin sure in this world, and there's nothin pure in this world....start again." Who'd have thought that Billy Idol could be so deep?

3. Come Undone- Duran Duran. Ok, NOW I see why I pressed the wrong station button. I absolutely love this song....and I don't own it anymore. Sad. I was first drawn to this song by the voice of the girl in this song. Hearing her gave me goosebumps, something that rarely happens, and it still does from time to time. After she drew me in, I listened to the lyrics....and smiled. Some great words there. Some of the verses don't seem to make sense when you first hear or read the lyrics, but they have a definite meaning for me. "Who do you need? Who do you love? When you've come undone."

4. I'm Bad- L.L. Cool J. "I'm the pinnacle, that means I reign supreme, I'm notorious, I'll crush you like a jelly bean."

5. Sabotage- Beastie Boys. Such an awesome video. I'll never forget flying down the alley behind Snookers in my Dakota with this song blaring on my CD player. That "experiment" was two fold. First I wanted to see how fun it would be to recreate part of the video, because the alley was pretty jacked, almost like a motocross course. We caught air at least once, and grounded something out a couple times. Second was trying to get the CD player to skip. I had this great Pioneer 6 disc changed mounted under the passenger seat, that I never got to skip (even that night) with a CD that wasn't scratched.

6. Ghost of You- Good Charlotte. This made me laugh. A little ironic with some of the stuff in my head/dreams right now.

7. I Wanna be Sedated- The Offspring. They performed this in the movie Idle Hands. I'm sure you didn't see that, because NO ONE saw that. Opening weekend for it we were the only ones in the theater to see it. We got in for free, so it wasn't too much of a loss there....and empty movie theaters can be fun too with the right companion.

8. The Pretender- Foo Fighters. So if I wasn't as tired as I am, I probably would not admit this here....but this song always reminds me of myself. There are so many people who think they know me, but only a select few I trust to be completely open and honest with. You'd be surprised how short that list is too....

9. I Bet You Look Good on the Dance Floor- Arctic Monkeys. Well, there are few finer things than a woman who knows how to dance and actually gets into it. Throw a mirror into the mix, and I am completely helpless.

10. Rub You the Right Way- Johnny Gill. This song just reminds me that my own magic hands have been idle for way too long. The last person I dated that actually enjoyed getting massaged was Chris. At that time I was doing that somewhat regularly for my PT job, and getting practice just about every night at home. I never thought I would have a hard time finding someone who liked getting massaged as much as I like giving them.

Friday, May 08, 2009

Finally

I am just 12 hours from my last final for this semester. I am confident in my ability to do very well on it, as long as I can get some inspiration to write later tonight, but I have a bunch of work to get done before then. Yay procrastination.

Looks like the weather today will be fantastic. It's the first time this year I've gotten to ride to work....found out my hair is too long to tame after wearing a helmet for all of 15 minutes on the way in. Maybe I'll finally get motivated to chop this mop tomorrow. I should have time before our safety meeting.

Stayed up late to watch some hockey last night, so I was definitely in need of some motivation from Mr iPod this morning. Here's what I got:

1. My Apocalypse- Metallica. I know I sound like a broken record when I keep saying the latest Metallica CD sounds a lot like the Metallica we all knew and loved before they sold out, but it's true. That being said, listening to this song today I did notice that James Hetfield's voice is not nearly as strong as it used to be. A sad realization for me, but I'm sure it weighs a lot heavier on him.

2. Salt Shaker- Ying Yang Twins. They might not be great song writers, talented musicians, or even sing all that well....but they have some really entertaining, and catchy, songs. Plus, it's got Lil Jon in it. How can you go wrong?

3. There for You- Flyleaf. Not a song I've really listened to before, so I had to pull up the lyrics and read them as I listened. Not the most uplifting of songs, but I like it....and I can easily sympathize with some of the lyrics in particular. "You speak the unthinkable thought,
I love you too"
4. Move Along- All-American Rejects. Perfect. We get to move along to a song that's a little more uptempo. These lyrics I don't really care about....I just act like I know them and sing.

5. My Bloody Valentine- Good Charlotte. I've always really liked Good Charlotte, but not this song. I am very good at separating myself from fictional things like movies, books, or even songs like this. But this one is just totally creepy to me. The song actually starts out with a little bit of the chorus, but when it moves on to the first verse, the first line you hear is: "I ripped out his throat, and called you on the telephone." I've never thought that stalking, true stalking, is something to be taken lightly and I just think that this song really never needed to be made. Just my opinion.

6. I Can't Explain- The Who. Lol. So many things going on in my mind and in my life that I can't explain for one reason or another. This made me smirk a bit.

7. Be Here to Love Me- Norah Jones. Her voice is very soothing to me, but that's not what I need at this moment. I need to be woken up. Good thing I was walking around when it came on.

8. Clarity- John Mayer. He may be a total douche, but he's a talented songwriter and a very good guitar player too. With his music, he doesn't get to show it off all too much, but seeing him in concert truly showed me his chops.

9. Last Night- Motion City Soundtrack. I can never make up my mind on whether or not I actually like MCS, but I keep listening....so that says something right?

10. Snuff on Digital- Blaqk Audio. Stiff Kittens was the song that got me to notice Blaqk Audio, but this is the song that got me hooked. I'm pretty sure it's still in the top ten songs on my iPod in terms of number of plays, and I haven't listened to it lately.

All morning, and moreso as I wrote this, I have noticed that I am hungry. Alarmingly so. I ate a good sized breakfast, 40 minutes later my body wanted more. I had a banana after my daily V8, didn't make a dent in this hunger. Not too long after that, I had 1/2 of a plain turkey sandwich on wheat. STILL hungry.

I've given up. If I am going to be hungry no matter how much I eat, I am just not going to eat. What's the use in eating if it doesn't satisfy your hunger?

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Half-Birthday

A little six month life check-up here. Meant to post it yesterday, but as limited as my time has been lately, I am happy to post this at all.

A lot has changed since my last birthday. I woke up to a new president-elect on November 5th, and he has since been inaugurated. Just yesterday, Dave Bing was elected to take over as mayor of Detroit, finishing out Kwame's last term.

Personally, I've seen a lot of change in/with me as well. 6 months ago I was back in school for the first time in almost ten years, with only a couple classes so I could get back into the swing of things. Until this week, which is finals week, I had class 5 nights a week for the winter semester. 3 of the 4 classes are done, and I have my last final on Friday. Winter semester taught me the value of internet classes, and my two classes for Spring term will be online.

Along with the full load of classes this semester came a new laptop, most of which was paid for with a grant from my parents which was given me in lieu of a birthday or Christmas gift last year. Well, I still got the usual underwear, t-shirts, and socks I have gotten every year since I was like 3.

I love the laptop, and can't imagine ever being without one from here on out....although the new router we have in the house doesn't seem to feel the same way. 3 of the 4 computers we have using the wireless network in the house, as well as Mark's iPhone, have almost zero problems connecting to the network. My laptop on the other hand, has connected to the network exactly zero times without a problem. I have no clue what the problem is considering it is the newest computer in the house, and has connected everywhere else I have tried it without a single problem. Frustrating.

I think one of the biggest things I have noticed in the last six months is an increase in my motivation for several things. I've never been particularly motivated in my life. I've never understood why. I have a few friends that are very much the same way too. One particular handful of us have enough brain power to rival most NASA groups, but have little to show for it. This has been kind of a running joke the last few years....but I think I finally got fed up with my life being a running joke, and decided to follow my latest dream and go back to school. The path I have chosen will take a long time and a lot of hard work, not to mention the crazy cost of all those years in school, but I really believe it'll be worth it in the end.

You can look at my postings here and see pretty quickly that I am a little more motivated this year than I have been before. This is my 58th post of the year, should be 59th but I am yet to finish a draft from a couple weeks ago, where previously my busiest year of posting only made it up to 41. 17 more posts in just over 4 months than any other year before. At this pace, more than half my posts on this blog, which started in 2005, will be from 2009 come the end of the year.

I've also written short stories here and there on top of the blog posts and the writing I must do for school. I've always had a knack for the written word, but but need some inspiration to let it out. I've had a lot of that lately. I can't even begin to express how good I have felt the last 6 months. It really feels like I am alive again for the first time in years.
THANK YOU
Now, feeling this alive is somewhat of a double-edged sword for someone like me. While I can always find the silver-lining in every cloud, I can also always find the one cloud in a beautiful clear sky. That's the best way I can explain to people what it means to be a cynical optimist.

While I love, and I without a doubt mean love, the way I have felt lately....my head is wondering what the hell I'm thinking as I go along feeling this way. I've always had such great restraint on my emotions....if I wanted to restrain them. I can finally let them go again, and that in itself feels fantastic. Usually I have what I think captaining the ship, while the way I have felt was very much like a silent first mate. Nowadays, it seems that both the way I feel and the way I think have an equal say. It's not been easy letting this happen, being the control freak I often am, but this little release of control to the way I feel has greatly improved a number of things in my life. Even on the rainy days, the sun is still burning bright and warm, just waiting for it's chance to be seen again.

In the past three weeks, I have gotten two pieces of potentially life-changing news. The day after I filed my taxes, on the deadline day of course even though I knew I was getting a return, I got some news I had always wanted to hear, but had pretty much given up on ever hearing. You should have seen my reaction. I held in my hands this package I knew was good news, but I just couldn't bring myself to open it right away. I looked at it many times in what must have been only 20 minutes, but seemed like a couple hours, until I finally opened it.

The other news came just minutes before I walked into my second class on Monday. I had to interrupt my conversation with Nyfa to take the call, but when I told her what had happened, she didn't seem to mind at all.

There are so many more things spinning in my head from the last 6 months, but for now I am going to keep a lot of them to myself. Considering these things seem to drive me, I think it's a good idea to keep them close to the vest for now. Now, did I mention that I absolutely love how I have felt lately? And I do mean absolutely.

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Jumble-aya


As I begin this post, I see my morning playlist post from yesterday in my drafts. I didn't have the time to finish it yesterday, and don't have my song list from yesterday in front of me. I'll finish it today or tomorrow I am sure, but when I do it will be posted with yesterday's day and time. It'll throw the last few posts of April out of sequence in a way, but it'll still be chronological.1
1
Speaking of the end of April, May will bring us another round of playoff hockey featuring the Red Wings, the Tigers getting deep into their season, the Pistons having the month of May off for the first time in like 7 years, and a lot of movies I am excited to see.
2
May will kick off with the new X-Men movie. I have been eagerly anticipating it since I heard about it, a lot later than everyone else I guess, a few months ago. I think it was actually Super Bowl Sunday. I have done a pretty good job avoiding the previews or finding out any info about the movie up to this point.
3
Thankfully when each preview starts, it gives you a warning when you see the word Marvel on the screen. I can usually change the channel right away when that happens, or plug my ears and hum to myself as I look away. I know I look like an idiot, but I don't care. If Mark can watch QVC to make sure he doesn't see previews for the next lost, I can act like a little kid when it comes to Wolverine.
4
Speaking of Lost, I think I am going to get myself caught up with that sometime soon. Maybe take a long weekend up north and watch it from the beginning after the sun goes down each day. Now that I get out of work so early, I can make it up north on a Friday before most people are done with their days....I kinda like that.
I LOVE THE MARINE CORPS
I had planned to do that with the second season of Mad Men so I could catch up before season three starts, but I just found out last night that I am going to have to wait til the middle of July for that. BOO!
5
Morning Music 4-29-09
6
After choosing yesterday's first song, I think going random today would be fitting. Well, that and I started a random playlist this morning without even thinking about it.
7
1. Forgot About Dre- Dr. Dre with Eminem. I still really like this song. It was my first real exposure to Slim Shady. I've always enjoyed the randomness and hilarity in his lyrics, but his delivery makes what he does gold.
8
2. The Rain- Akon. Eh. A couple good songs on this CD, but this one just made me sleepy. Tempted to skip past it....but I didn't.
GOOD MARINES ARE NEVER LATE
3. Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol. This is a very timely pick for Mr. iPod. I hadn't heard this song in quite a while until the other night when I was on Youtube. I was looking for my favorite scene from a movie, and the one I found had this as the background. I've watched that video a number of times since then, and this song has been stuck in my head a lot lately. This is one of those songs that just about anyone can relate to, and I like the thoughts that pop in my head when I listen to it.
9
4. Make a Plan to Love Me- Bright Eyes. I think Conor Oberst is a wonderfully talented person, and like way more of his songs than I rightfully should. That being said, I don't like this one at all. To me it seems kind of forced. Maybe that has something to do with the title, but since the title is in the song a lot, the song is the same way. Making a plan to love someone just sounds silly to me. Either you love someone, or you don't. It's pretty simple. Maybe he wants to be shown more affection, or maybe his girl doesn't put out enough. Either way, don't beat around the bush. State your desires clearly and go from there. You don't have to always be vague or mysterious just because you write songs for a living....
10
5. Gallows Pole- Led Zeppelin. I've always enjoyed this song. It's one that has a random, meaningless memory attached to it. Just don't try listening to it with only on earphone. You don't get the full effect of the song that way. :(
11
6. A-Punk- Vampire Weekend. I have no idea where they came up with the name of this song, but it's brilliant. It's always the first song listed on my iPod because of the dash after the A. It helps that I like ths song, and most of the album, but I still think it's a nice little ploy.
12
7. One Night in Bankok- Murray Head. Classic 80s tune. I made sure to get the version with the extended intro.
CAN MARINES EVEN COUNT TO 12?
8. Eclipse- Pink Floyd. Love this song, but not on it's own. Brain Damage flows into Eclipse. Any Colour You Like flows into Brain Damage. Us and Them flows into Any Colour You Like. Those four songs together are the end of Dark Side of the Moon. Can't be separated in my mind. The beating heart at the end used to scare me as a kid, but after listening to it so much, it has come to represent something more to me, and it's actually soothing now. Another example of how immersion can help you overcome fears.
WHO AM I KIDDING?
9. My Violent Heart- NIN. I really like this song, but can't identify with it anymore. The violence has slowly seeped out of my heart as I've gotten older. Now the question becomes, what has filled the space in which the violence used to reside?
EVEN IF THEY COULD COUNT THAT HIGH,
10. Disco Science- Mirwais. Great way to end my playlist. I can't remember what scene this was from in Snatch, but it fit really well and I downloaded it soon after I saw the movie. It's a great song to listen to for motivation when I have to get something done that requires a good amount of thought. It'll get you going, and has no lyrics to distract you.
THEY'D NEVER FIND THIS

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

As May Approaches....


The stiff breeze that sweetly stung my overheated skin and the stiffness in my joints were telltale signs that the rain would be moving in soon. As I lay in bed, I contemplated my options. I could ignore the predicting factors and just go to sleep, knowing that if the rain arrived while I was asleep there would surely be enough direct evidence coming through my window to find my head and wake me up.

Option number two involved getting up to close the window, which I truly did not want to do, and would eliminate the cool breeze which sought to regulate the temperature in my room. The question really became one of sleep continuity. I was tired. Tired enough that I wouldn't notice the breeze, or lack thereof, much after I laid my head to the pillow. I probably would notice the rain dotting my face in the middle of the night though. As I have been having a hard enough time sleeping straight through nights recently, I decided to close the window and at least gave myself a chance at continuous sleep. No such luck.

Throughout last night I tossed and turned in my sleep, never fully waking up when I did so, but never staying fully asleep when I did. Dreams are hard to remember, although I do remember one where I hung out with my cousin Johnny for a while and gave him a BIG hug when I saw him. I went to bed knowing someone close to me needed a big hug, and I guess my subconscious just carried that on into my dream world to the first loved one that I saw.

I just find it strange that he was the one who showed up in my dream. Johnny and I have never been close. I can't swear that we've ever had a conversation. During family parties, all of the cousins usually hung out in their own general age groups. I was in a large one, with another large one slightly older than us, then a smaller one even older than that. Johnny is one of the oldest of my older cousins. Our groups usually didn't even cross paths at family parties.

Of course as we all got older, the age difference became less and less of a factor for all the cousins. Now all the cousins aged from their younger 20s to older 30s, even 40s maybe for a couple, can all hang out and carry on normal everyday conversations and have a good time together. In the last few years, I have gotten to know my older and younger cousins much better than I had ever thought I would.

Johnny never became part of that for me because he moved to California some time ago. I don't know exactly when it was, but I have to imagine it was at least 10-12 years ago, and I don't know that I've seen him since. Johnny's parents, my Aunt Di and Uncle John, are always people I seek out at family parties, and so are their other children.

That part of my family has a sense of humor much like mine, and is always fun to hang out with. I'm sure I'll see that side of Johnny one day too, and maybe I'll give him a big hug. OK, probably not gonna give him a hug....but it sounded good, right?
THIS
Day Number....Whatever
TEMPLATE
Current weight: 241.0 lbs
SUCKS
Not a single day in the gym last week. Didn't stick to the diet all that much. I am actually surprised I only gained one pound. Unfortunately I don't see this week being much better with all the food that will be floating around work the next few days.
WTF?
My original plan was to lose about 10-15 lbs this month so I could really get it into high gear come May. My graduated diet really puts me on lockdown this Friday. No more bargaining with myself for cheat meals. I'll have a set number of meals between cheat times, which will gradually start to disappear throughout the month. I'm not conditioned for it, and it's going to be tough. I am also probably going to be crabby for the first few days, so tread lightly. ;-)

Monday, April 27, 2009

The More Things Change....The Lions Still Can't Draft.


This photo says it all. Three reasons I have completely given up hope. For the most part, I have been a Redskins fan first, and a Lions fan second. This year, I really don't care about the Lions. If they want to step on their own heads while they are drowning, at least I don't have to watch. I hope all of their home games are blacked out this year.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Shadow of the Day


WHEN
Ugh. With all the stuff going on this week, I have not been able to make it to the gym once. The earliest I can make it would be tomorrow morning, but I still need to see if I am getting the tire replaced on my X tomorrow. If that's the case, Sunday it is.
EVERYTHING
So I am glad the Wings are done with Columbus now, but it's somewhat bittersweet. They were the only possible opponent for us in our time zone. The only team left in the West that isn't at least two time zones away is Chicago, and there is no way we play them next round. If San Jose comes back from a 3-1 deficit to beat the Ducks, they play the winner of the Calgary/Chicago series and we play Vancouver. If Anaheim can win one more game, we get them. Either way, our road games are gonna be very late starts next round, and I will probably miss at least one because of it.
TURNS
Even without staying up for a late Wings game, I have been dragging this week. After class tonight I will probably take Black Betty out for an extended ride home (Mental Note: Gauge friend's interest in yacht club dinner tonight) up Hines Drive, if it's open. Whenever I make it back home, I am pretty sure I am going crash out hard and get some much needed rest.
GRAY
Since tomorrow is going to be such a nice day, I want to get up relatively early so I can get some stuff done around the house and garage. If I get a new back tire, I'll be taking the X for a ride to see how she handled the winter in the garage. I started her up last weekend and she sounded and felt fine, but you never know.
WHERE
Whatever happens early tomorrow, the one thing I do have planned for the afternoon is going to BW3 to watch the NFL Draft. Going to B-Dub's is kind of a tradition for draft day that dates back more than ten years to our CMU days. It will be interesting to see what happens with the Lions picks, as well as some other teams I want to keep an eye on.
WILL
After the first round or so of the draft is over, I think I am done going out for the weekend. I have so much to do with papers and speeches and studying and whatnot....I'll probably have my face buried in my laptop the rest of the weekend.
YOU
Morning Music 4-24-09
FIND
I had one song I wanted to listen to on the way in this morning, and that set off this playlist.
YOUR
1. Hard Sun- Eddie Vedder. Pretty sure this one has come up before, but I really like this version. One of the few covers that I like more than the original.
SUN?
2. My Hallelujah Song- Julianne Hough. WTF is this? Where in the hell did this come from? This led to a first for me with my random morning playlilst....I skipped this song after about 30 seconds. And even THAT was too much for me.
I close both locks below the window
3. Code Red- Tori Amos. While I have heard that American Doll Posse is a concept album, I actually haven't listened to it from start to finish. There are a few songs on the CD that I enjoy, but isn't that just about any Tori Amos album?
I close both blinds and turn away
4. Daughter of Darkness- Tom Jones. According to Tom Jones, women are evil. Who am I to argue with "The Voice".
Sometimes solutions aren't so simple
5. The (After) Life of the Party- Fall Out Boy. I like most of what they do, but am so sick of them. They have faded a little since becoming victims of their own stardom, and Pete Wentz, and being overexposed. This song reminds me of an 80s song, but I can't think of which one. Any help out there?
Sometimes goodbye's the only way
6. Kiss Me, I'm $#!*faced- Dropkick Murphys. Ahh, the contemporary Irish love ballad.
And the sun will set for you
7. Back in Your Head- Tegen and Sarah. Another group I hear too much about, and didn't really miss. This is a good song, but I have heard it way too much. It's not THAT good you know.
The sun will set for you
8. Dirty Little Thing- Velvet Revolver. I have no idea what the lyrics mean, but I think this song sounds enough like old Guns n' Roses stuff to really enjoy it anyway.
And the shadow of the day
9. Violence- Bif Naked. Mr iPod seems to have a thing for her. I'm not buying into it anymore. Good stuff, but a little dated.
Will embrace the world in gray
10. Shadow of the Day- Linkin Park. I REALLY like this song, but listening to the words always makes me sad. I have been blessed to have some truly wonderful people come into my life over the years. Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever and the sun will set on many relationships. Saying goodbye to those special people who have left my life was always very hard. I'm not really a very nostalgic person, but when it comes to people I get close with, I really am.
And the sun will set for you
I can even extend this to my pets, who I am VERY nostalgic about when they are gone. The impact they have had on my heart and soul is immeasurable. I still miss the first dog I ever lost, and lately just seeing how time is catching up with Guinness breaks my heart a little bit every time I think about it.
In cards and flowers on your window
I realize just how limited our time together is now, and with how busy my life will be for the next year or so, I won't get to spend as much time just chilling out with him and Kira as I would like. I'll take advantage of what time I can, and fully plan to spend as much time up at the cabin with the two of them this summer as possible.
Your friends all plead for you to stay
From here it leaps to my current situation. I very well may be leaving the area before the end of the year. Saying goodbye to those nearest and dearest to me will be one of the hardest things I've ever done. I have had a wonderful support system of friends and family near me for so long, it will be quite an adjustment just walking away from that. This is the biggest reason I got a webcam built into the laptop I purchased earlier this year. If I am far away from everyone for a long enough time, I will need the intimacy that cam chats can provide above normal IM or e-mail chats.
Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple
And while this sun may set sooner than expected, it will undoubtedly rise again.
Sometimes goodbye's the only way

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Morning Music 4-23-09


For most of this week, I've felt as if I was falling behind and couldn't do anything about it no matter how hard I tried. Today I finally feel as if I am catching up. Once I get through this week, I will feel a lot better. When I leave school at 9pm tomorrow, everything will be just that much better. Sleeping in on Saturday will also be a tremendous help.

Dragging a little this morning, I couldn't wait til I got to work to start my morning playlist, so I hit shuffle on the iPod about halfway into my 12 minute commute. Here's what I got.

1. I Write Sins, Not Tragedies- Panic! At the Disco. I haven't heard this song in a while, nor anything else from P!ATD for that matter. I always like the title of this song. I mean, come on....would you rather read about sins or tragedy. Sign me up for the sinning please.

2. You Won't Make a Fool Out of Me- Flogging Molly. I think I've already said more than enough about how much I love this band. Although I don't know that I talked much about our trip to Cleveland to see them at House of Blues. Suffice it to say, I think we are going to have to make Flogging Molly roadtrips an annual event.

3. Pimp Juice- Nelly. Funny how certain memories are attached to songs. I will always think of Cory's wedding when I hear this song. When the Mr and Mrs were introduced at the reception, this is the song they came out to. Classic Cory moment. Also, I still have no idea what "you wanna put your on my rug, dontcha?" means.

4. This Heaven- David Gilmour. The distinct sounds of his guitar drove Pink Floyd for many years, and I really like the CD (On an Island) this song is on. This wouldn't be my first selection from the album, but it's a nice change of pace from Nelly.

5. Rainy Day Women #12 & #35- Bob Dylan. Better known as "Everybody. Must. Get Stoned." I'd be willing to bet anyone out there that they have more experience with that than I do though, so maybe the meaning of this song is lost on me.

6. Girls Gone Wild- Ludacris. Eh. I always thought this sounded like a song Eminem would do. I love me some Luda, but it's just ok to me.

7. Lil' Ghetto Boy- Dr. Dre. Ah, Snoop and Dre. The Chronic. Great memories from the peak of "Gangsta Rap". Hard to believe that was 15 years ago.

8. Carbon Monoxide- Regina Spektor. Ok Mr iPod, I think you have officially come up with the most random playlist in history. I can guarantee most of these songs have never followed their predecessors before now.

9. Song Sung Blue- Neil Diamond. Wow. Still very random.

10. Kick Start My Heart- Motley Crue. Interesting. I had a little discussion on Facebook yesterday about going to Cruefest this year. Mental Note: This goes directly to the gym playlist.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Early Morning Activism

When I left for work this morning, I turned on a hall light so mark would be able to see a little better when he came downstairs to get ready for work....but when I got to work, I turned off TWO lights that didn't need to be on. I am pretty sure I just saved the world from global warming today.

Happy Earth Day

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Morning Music 4-21-09



Started off the morning with a song I wanted to hear, and let Mr iPod choose the rest.

1. Gives You Hell- All-American Rejects. I've loved this song since I first heard it. Very often I like a song because of the lyrics or the message within, but that's not the case here. I am not a bitter ex. As a matter of fact, I could easily maintain a friendship with any of my exes, assuming they could do the same. They are all great people, but our relationships just didn't work for one reason or another. I harbor no ill will toward anyone I have ever dated. That being said....I still love this song.

2. Tiny Vessels- Death Cab for Cutie. I like most of their songs, but a lot of them tend to sound similar to me. I wasn't sure which song this was til I looked at the title on my iPod about halfway through.

3. Rock Me Gently- Not Sure, But it's the Version from the Jeep Commercial. This commercial got this song stuck in my head for a long time, and I downloaded it to make sure anyone else who drove anywhere with me, namely Mark, could share in my pain at the time. I still use it every now and again on the way home when I am DD. Great value for my 99 cents.

4. The Curse- Audioslave. Two days in a row Mr iPod? You must really like this song. Yeah....me too.

5. Good- Better than Ezra. Another song I really enjoy, but don't care about the lyrics. This song in entirely too singable. Thankfully no one was around me when it came on.

6. Galvanize- The Chemical Brothers. One of the many fine offerings from their Push the Button album.

7. Lost- Katy Perry. She has a lot of songs that are pretty good outside of her monster hit I Kissed a Girl. This isn't one of my favorites, but it's listenable.

8. Sir Psycho Sexy- Red Hot Chili Peppers. Mr iPod is on quite the RHCP kick lately.

9. People = Sh*t- Richard Cheese. How can you not love Richard Cheese? I remember driving around as a teenager and singing contemporary songs as bid band and lounge songs. I thought it was cute and funny at the time, but hearing him do it puts those cute moments to shame. The name of this song is also an equation I think of every Tuesday and Thursday when I am in math class....

10. How Do I Live- Leann Rimes. I guess you can consider this country, but I still really like it. She's also turned into a very pretty woman. She's no Jewel or anything, but she's still pretty hot.

Backing Out

I went to Home Depot after work yesterday to get some stuff for the garage. Came home, and changed clothes so I could work on my speech (that I left at work), but soon after changing clothes I ended up hurting my back by stretching too far, for too long without warming up a little.

Hopefully by taking it slow today and doing a little stretching here and there, I can work this sore muscle out. If not, I'll have to limit my physical activity until it feels better. That means very little, if any, riding as well as getting stricter with my diet. If this lasts a few days, I am gonna be quite the grouch. Strict diet + back pain - motorcycles = me being no fun to be around.

So the light fixtures I got for the garage are gonna have to wait. I also picked up a couple huge (96 inch) florescent light bulbs last night to replace the one in my basement that burned out. Replacing those is a piece of cake compared to putting up the shop lights in the garage, and just reaching up for those few seconds to change the basement bulb really affected my back.

So that's where I am. Whining about my back hurting. I'm pretty sure this goes for everyone, but I really don't like back pain. Most pain is very easy to endure, but back pain can stop you from doing so much. Although....I can (and do) think of one specific way I'd really enjoy a little pain on my back.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Day 29


Current weight: 240 lbs.

While I can't seem to take my diet as seriously as I'd like, especially on the weekends, I am still losing weight consistently with dieting I am actually doing. It's just not enough. At my weight, my body can fluctuate up to 5 lbs either way in the course of a day. While I do each of my weigh-ins at the same time of day to minimize this effect on my progress, I don't really see this as all that much progress because I could easily end a day right where I was when I started of this anyway.

I need to have a noticeable drop to feel better about this. I have noticed my pants fitting a little looser, but it's nothing I would really notice if I wasn't looking for it. What I need is to look in the mirror and SEE that I have lost weight, or for my friends who see me regularly to notice it. That's when I will feel good about my progress. Until then, I will just sit here and eat my handful of dry cheerios with disdain.

Morning Music 4-20-09

Time to see what iPod has in store for me today....hopefully he's not gonna let his sense of humor choose just because of today's date.

1. Just Sixteen- Velvet Revolver. Not one of their songs I would go out of my way to listen to, but nice pace and a good way to start off the morning nonetheless.

2. The Legend of John Henry's Hammer- Johnny Cash. I was never a fan of Cash's long winded "ballads of" and this really is not an exception.

3. The Fly- U2. This might be the first time a U2 song has popped up on one of my morning playlists. Whether or not it's one of my favorites from them, it's always good to hear them. As I stated on Friday, U2 always makes everything better....even when people are threatening your life.

4. Strip My Mind- Red Hot Chili Peppers. Another song that isn't what I'd choose from that artist, but still very listenable.

5. Viva la Vida- Coldplay. "OK, enough complaining....here's the song you would pick from this artist." Thank you Mr I. Now let me sit back, close my eyes, and enjoy this.

6. Knockin on Heaven's Door- Bob Dylan. I can't say enough about how much I like his songs. Even Guns N Roses covered this one well.

7. Green, Green Grass of Home- Tom Jones. It's too early to listen to this slow paced song about dreaming when I just want to be back home dreaming myself. Ugh.

8. Original Fire- Audioslave. Thank you. Needed to pick up the pace a little.

9. The Curse- Audioslave. Back-to-back picks from the same group, this better be good....and well, listening closely to the lyrics this time around, I actually do think this is a good song. Much better now than I thought the other times I have heard it. I love the chorus. It changes slightly each time, and seems to get better throughout. Here is the final chorus:

As you're laughing at this fool tonight
Let me rid myself of any line that I might choose to trip you up
And as I'm howling at the moonlight, don't you kid yourself
I will be your luck, even at my worst
I will be your luck, never be your curse

10. Charlie- Red Hot Chili Peppers. Another artist repeat. Since it's not back-to-back, I guess I can be a little more lenient for this....which is good because I already know this song, and it's one of the ones I think is just ok.

Last Night

Stayed in last night to work on a speech and a paper for school. As the semester draws to a close here in early May, more and more assignments are coming due. As long as I get through the next three weeks without losing my shit, I will be done and can relax for a while. And assuming that I turn in all my remaining assignments and don't totally bomb them in the process, I should have another semester on the dean's list behind me soon.

While sitting on the couch doing my homework and watching some playoff hockey, we somehow came across the Miss USA contest as they were doing the swimsuit competition. Now, we didn't really want to watch any of that....but the Veronicas were going to be performing, so I kinda had to stick around and see how they did.

Now during the contest, I realized that one of the girls (Miss Kentucky) reminded me of Nikki Reed. I looked up pictures for both girls, put them side by side, and showed Mark who agreed. Then I showed another friend online, and she disagreed. Let me see what y'all think.

I watched the Miss USA thing til the end, and was disappointed that the three I picked didn't do so well. Then again, I'm not nearly as sophisticated as the Miss USA judges. You know, Keenan from SNL and one of Trump's kids. Professional judges.

All during the Miss USA pageant, I had the Lifetime movie Prayers for Bobby on split screen so I could look for my uncle as an extra in a couple of the scenes. Now that a bunch of movies are being shot in Michigan and my uncle is retired, he got himself an agent and does movie work on the side.

So after this "busy" Sunday night, I finally get to bed but have hard time staying asleep. I don't remember too many dreams from last night, but the one I do remember was extremely vivid. I was recruited to play double -A ball for a nearby team. I pitched in a couple games, and even though I had a couple Nuke LaLoosh moments, I had a very respectable ERA. Especially for someone they pulled right off the street. Long story short, I was just a band-aid for them until one of their pitchers came off the DL, and then they assigned me to their A ball club to work on my delivery. Unfortunately, the A club was in NY and didn't pay nearly enough for me to really live on. I had to walk away from being a pro baseball player.

Although I didn't sleep so well, I wasn't doing much tossing and turning at all. I must have been on my left side pretty much all night, since I woke up with a very stiff, very sore shoulder. Even just typing this morning bothers me....although you'd never be able to tell with all these words above.

I guess with all this rambling, I can end this just about any time now.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Conference Previews

Every year I break down each NHL playoff match-up, and I have not been afraid to share my opinion with one and all. Two years ago I posted my thoughts and predictions here, while last year I posted them exclusively on the This Ain't Iowa forums. This year, I figured I'd be daring and post what I think in both places.

So here they are. A day late since I couldn't post them yesterday afternoon, and without my normal in-depth analysis. I should get wordier as we get deeper into the playoffs. I'll have more chances to see each team play, and with fewer games each round I will be able to focus a little more.

Western Conference:

#1 San Jose -vs- #8 Anaheim

For most of this season, San Jose has looked like the best team in the NHL. Anaheim looked lost until fairly recently. There is not much else to point out here really, but any time I have a chance to take a shot at Giguere, I'll take it. His numbers this year: .900 save percentage and a 3.10 GAA. Very pedestrian numbers for this "great" goalie.

Pick: SJ 4-0

#2 Detroit -vs- #7 Columbus

I really don't want to be scared of this match-up, but I have a feeling Columbus is going to play us pretty well. I don't think they have enough to give us another embarrassing first round exit, but I don't think we'll sweep them either. Ken Hitchcock loves to beat the Wings, and will do his best to parlay their performance versus Detroit throughout the season into some momentum for the playoffs, especially when they play at home. Although they won't be lucky enough this post season to host the Wings the night after they played a game in Detroit, while Columbus had the night off, like they did a couple times during the season.

Pick: Det 4-1

#3 Vancouver -vs- #6 St Louis

I think the Blues are in for a world of hurt with this match-up. I don't know any team that would want to play the Canucks right now. Both teams have been hot since February with a combined record of 44-14-8 in that time, but Vancouver just seems to have that edge to them right now while it seems that the Blues are just happy to be in the playoffs. While I think the Canucks will win the series quickly, I do think these games will be closely contested and fun to watch.

Pick: Van 4-1

#4 Chicago -vs- #5 Calgary

This series could really go either way. Early this year, I would have given the nod to the Flames easily....but that was before they had a little collapse the last couple months. They have only won 9 of their last 21 games dating back to the beginning of March. They made some improvements at the trade deadline, but you wouldn't know by looking at their record. Even so, I have to believe that the Flames will come to play this post season, and I like them to take down the Blackhawks, who seem just a year or two away from a serious cup run to me. This should also be another great series to watch with plenty of odd man rushes to get you to the edge of your seat.

Pick: Cal 4-2

Eastern Conference:

#1 Boston -vs- #8 Montreal

This is another series I will enjoy watching. I think these teams will play each other very tight, and things could get very chippy throughout this series. I think Boston is playing a little too well to lose this series, but they won't just breeze right through it like they want to.

Pick: Bos 4-2

#2 Washington -vs- #7 New York Rangers

I like this match-up for the Caps. I don't see them having too much trouble advancing through the Rangers. The Rangers should win one game at home, but would be lucky to get anything else from the Caps before retiring to the golf course.

Pick: Was 4-1

#3 New Jersey -vs- #6 Carolina

Not much to say here. I always have way too much faith in the Devils during the playoffs, and always have too little faith in the Hurricanes in the playoffs. Hopefully this will be short and painless for both teams.

Pick: NJ 4-0

#4 Pittsburgh -vs- #5 Philadelphia

The Penguins have a lot of talent, but are definitely not the same team that made it to the finals last season. I don't see them making it much further than the second round this year, but they should have enough to take out the Flyers.

Pick: Pit 4-2

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Day 22....er, 23


A Momentary Lapse of Diet

Current Weight: 241.5

About halfway through last week I completely gave up dieting, caving to the stress around me and the cravings that seemingly came out of nowhere. I am very surprised to have only gained a pound back with as bad as my diet went. Back on the horse as of yesterday, and I am doing pretty well. Now lets just see if I can drag myself to the gym today.

Morning Music 4/14/09

I had a hankerin for a particular White Stripes song this morning, so I chose the first track of my morning playlist.

1. Prickly Thorn, but Sweetly Worn- The White Stripes. Not sure exactly why I wanted to hear this....but I did.

2. Whiskey, You're the Devil (Live)- The Clancy Brothers. This one made me smile. I am not a whiskey man, as many can attest, but have quite a few friends who like it. This song made me think of one friend in particular, and the trouble they have with whiskey being their devil.

3. Layla- Derek and the Dominos. One of the best classic rock songs of all time. I can get lost in the end of the song. Speaking of getting lost, lost in all the talk of how great this song is, and the story everyone knows about this song being about Clapton's unrequited love for the wife of his friend (and former Beatle) George Harrison....and how she eventually married Clapton after divorcing Harrison, is where the name of the song came from since the woman in quesiton was named Pattie Boyd. The inspiration for the name came from Layla and Majnun which was written by a classical Persian poet. It's an interesting story, and has had quite an influence over time.

4. Madly- Tristan Prettyman. Not a bad find through iTunes free songs of the week. I am always open to new music, so I download their featured song of the week pretty often. This one I am happy about, but there are quite a few others that I need to take off my iPod. For some reason this song reminds me of something that chick who sang on Ally McBeal would do.

5. Moment of Weakness- Bif Naked. I guess I could have subtitled the first part of my post with the same name....but Pink Floyd > Bif Naked.

6. I Wanna be Sedated- The Ramones. Classic punk anthem. How can you NOT like this?

7. Crushcrushcrush- Paramore. I always liked this song a lot. Interesting lyrics.

8. Tangerine- Led Zeppelin. What an amazing band. Just one of their brilliant pieces of work.

9. It Keeps You Running- The Doobie Brothers. AGH! This list was soooo good until now. On the bright side, hearing Michael McDonald sing always reminds me of The 40 Year Old Virgin.

10. Love's Theme- Barry White's Love Unlimited Orchestra. Who needs lyrics?

Monday, April 13, 2009

Morning Music 4/13/09


I hadn't planned on a song post this morning, but now with a little extra time and after having read my last post, it's probably a good idea. I guess at first glance, the last post isn't too bad....a few misspellings here and there, no big deal. Then I looked at the time stamp and tried to remember what was going on in my head, but I can't.
I
I don't really remember being awake at that time, although by multiple accounts I was, and I always ramble random stuff when I am that tired. Even more random than normal. I've read it a few times, and still have no idea what I was getting at. Now I know what it's like trying to talk to me sometimes. A whole bunch of words that could mean a lot of things, but no clarification. Glad I don't talk to myself all that often.
REALLY
1. Queen Anne's Revenge- Flogging Molly. It's no surprise that a Flogging Molly song pops up first. They are one of the bands that dominate space in my ipod. Thankfully this is one of their up tempo songs, I don't know that I could have handled a ballad this early.
HATE
2. Assassin- Muse. Another up tempo song, this one just kicks it up a notch for me after the Flogging Molly.
THAT
3. Vapor Trail- The Crystal Method. Good song to level off the aggression and intensity of the first two.
I
4. Friends- Led Zeppelin. Not one of the most popular of Zeppelin songs, but this one had quite an impact on me when I was first really learning what music meant to me, and what kind of music meant what to me. This was on a mixtape that my mother had made when she was in her early 20s. I found it on the flip side of a tape of myself as an infant, and played it an awful lot when I was young.
HAVE
5. Back Down- 50 Cent. When 50 hit the scene with Get Rich or Die Tryin, I wanted to buy the CD. A friend at work gave me the his copy of the it so I could make a copy. I still have it. Guess he shouldn't have gotten himself fired.
TO
6. Track #2- Technation II. The name of the artist and song were lost in the great computer fire of '01....but I like this song nonetheless.
MANUALLY
7. Three Coins in the Fountain- Frank Sinatra.
FORMAT
8. In a Sentimental Mood- Benny Goodman. My ipod must be sentimental. Well, it IS getting old.
THIS
9. Fidelity- Regina Spektor. I could go on and on about how much I like her, but you already know by now.
TEMPLATE
10. No I in Threesome- Interpol. Ain't that the truth?

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Perseverance


I'm running bad lately. I've played my cards the best I could, overall, and am still running bad. This applies to both my poker game and my personal game of life.

The poker is easy to diagnose. I don't expect to play perfect, but I do expect to play well and adjust my game at times that benefit the bottom line. With hand histories and statistical analysis, I can see exactly how well, or poorly, I am playing overall and I am not disappointed at all in my play....now if only I could get my cards going to put me on a nice rush.

Life, however, is not as easy to diagnose. It's just as easy to second guess....but you can't analyze everything. Am I playing my cards right with my life? Have I played too tight for too long, making me a short stack as the blinds get insanely high? I really don't like poker analogies, but they seem to make more sense that a lot of other analogies....maybe poker really IS life.

OK, I know that's not true....but it's be a lot easier if it were.

Thursday, April 09, 2009

Morning Music 4/9/09

1. Polaris- Jimmy Eat World. WELL....we can tell right away that today's mix is entirely random. When this CD came out a few years ago I really enjoyed it, but I was in a very different frame of mind back then and a lot of things have changed. My music tastes have progressed away from this silly named band.


2. Throw the Jew Down the Well- Borat. Started laughing when I heard the guitar playing to begin the song. I didn't realize I still had this on my iPod....but it was good for a laugh.


3. Drunken Lullabies- Flogging Molly. :-)


4. Detroit City- Tom Jones. It's kinda funny to listen to this song and realize that spending a night in Detroit made him get all whiney and homesick. No love for the D even then.


5. Pretty good song.


6. God's Gonna Cut You Down- Johnny Cash. No one could ever mistake me for a very religious person, but I REALLY like this song. There is something amazing about some of the songs he recorded late in his life. So surreal, yet so utterly genuine.


7. Wake Up- Rage Against the Machine. I only like this song because it was the end of The Matrix. I completely LOVED that movie when it came out. Went to see it in the theater 7 times. It's kinda hard to believe that movie came out 10 years ago. Anyway, at that time I had already outgrown my teenage years and my tolerance for Rage. Not it's just, eh.


8. Get Up- Unwritten Law. Wake Up followed by Get Up? iPod must know how sleepy I am today....yawn.


9. The Day That I Die- Good Charlotte. Very upbeat for a song about suicide. Not one of my favorites from them, or this CD which was pretty effing awesome, but still a tune I find myself singing along to.

10. Different- Acceptance. Very good song. Only song from them I actually listen to.