Waste of a Day

Such a lonely day
Shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss

Such a lonely day
And it's mine

~~ System of a Down- Lonely Day

Today held a lot of promise. Getting through the week at work wasn't fun at all. It's harder and harder every day to get up and go to work. I easily could have missed work yesterday. I went back to sleep after silencing my alarm....and woke up 40 minutes later, just enough time really to rush in and make it on time. I've been playing with fire with that lately, and it almost bit me in the ass finally. I guess I need to stop the 15-20 minutes of snooze, which I have grown to love, and get my ass up right away when that first alarm goes off.

Today I was up early. Not as early as I would be for work, but only a couple hours later. Early enough that the sun wasn't up yet. I was fully rested, wide awake....and could have gotten so much accomplished. I knew it too. There are PLENTY of things around here I could have done. Instead I fed, watered, and let the dogs out....then climbed back in bed to read. Read a few chapters of my latest book, then slept. And slept.

I was finally up and starting my day somewhere around noon. I woke up a little after 11, but just couldn't drag myself out of bed for almost an hour. And when I finally did, it was to go get some fattening food. I'm supposed to be in the midst of another big weight loss quest, but I threw that out the window. I've said it before, I'll say it again....food comforts me, and I find it very easy to justify eating what I want over what I should eat. It's easier to justify than pretty much anything else. There aren't many things I am selfish about, but it seems to come out most often when it comes to what I want to eat.

So I got the food and came home. I saw right away that today would be a great day for a drive. I even mentioned that in a text conversation pretty early in the afternoon. Did I take advantage of that even? No. After eating, I sat on the couch. I watched some tv that I wasn't interested in. I ignored my book. I ignored my house. I ignored my friends. I ate some more. Drank way too much cola. Made Mark get Oreos when he went out to the store. I know I can be lazy, but damn.

It's frustrating thinking about it now. So many things I thought about doing....things I really wanted to do. Then I didn't do a damn thing.

At least I feel that putting up this post is accomplishing something....even though I am still on the couch, hiding under the hood of my sweatshirt as I do it.