Blocked

So it seems my 9 to 5 has now set the filter to block blogger.com. I can still read public blogs, but any blog I need to sign in to read is now off limits. I also can't sign in to my profile, which means no more blog posts from the 9 to 5. As if I didn't have a hard time getting my posts in before...lets see how the post count goes from now on.

Preseason Week One

I'm not yet in serious NFL watching mode, although I never got there at all last season, but I did pay attention to a few preseason games this past weekend. First and foremost, I made sure to catch the Ravens opening game. As usual, their defense looks solid and they should be competitive all season so long as the offense is decent. If Flacco and company can perform as well as last year, they will be one of the top teams in the AFC again.

Of course I needed to watch the first Redskins game. Even though I wasn't going out to watch the game, it gave me a great reason to wear my new McNabb jersey since it'd be the first time I'd get to see him in action wearing his new jersey. Circumstance didn't allow me to actually see Donovan play that night, but I did catch plenty of the 42 points the Skins put up in the game. Quite a welcome change from everything we saw last year. If this team can score half that each week in 2010, they can easily be a top team in the NFC, even with the tough division.

The Lions have generated a lot of buzz this offseason, like they always do around here, and even with the loss of their first preseason game, everyone is going crazy about how good the defensive line looked and the pressure and blah blah blah....Let's not forget this is the Steelers we played. The same Steelers we got three sacks against during the regular season last year, and otherwise pressured a hell of a lot in that same game. Their line isn't exactly the best in the league, and definitely not a great gauge of how good our line is going to be this season. Let's see how they do over the next few weeks before we get too excited.

Overall, I am pretty excited for the season to start....and definitely have the Oct 31st game circled on my calendar. Even though I didn't get the exact seats I wanted for that game, I still got pretty good seats at a decent price. And I don't mind paying a little more than face value to skip the BS that goes along with being a Lions season ticket holder.

FOUL!

There is no other way to describe my mood today aside from foul. I'm a very laid back guy for the most part, and it usually takes a lot to get to me. Whatever IT is, it must have gotten to me. I suppose most, if not all, of IT has to do with the 9 to 5. For the last few months, things just have not gone the way anyone has expected. And things just seem to keep getting worse. Some issue(s) that didn't involve me at all have affected things for me negatively where my schedule is concerned.

I knew it would take a little while to iron things out for my new position, but it's been a little too long, and hasn't exactly been ironed out the way it should have been, nor the way I need it to be for school....which was the ONLY concerned I voiced when offered the job. This semester won't be a total wash. I will be able to take at least a couple classes, but with the schedule I'll be on the next two or three weeks, I will surely burn out before we even hit midterms. And that is only taking school, work, and sleep hours into consideration....I can't even begin to figure in my personal life the way things stand right now.

I guess I have been spoiled, lucky, or just flexible enough in my life so far that I've never had a job interfere with my personal/social life. My job in high school affected my ability to hang out my last couple years there, but I preferred most of my work friends over my school friends anyway. I seemed to get along better with an older crowd back then. Other than that, I've always had ample time to be with friends and/or loved ones no matter what shift I was working. That really doesn't look like it's going to be the case now for a while.

"Tell me about your father...."

One of the biggest reasons I never wanted to follow in my father's footsteps (and both grandfathers, as well as several uncles) when it came to work was the crazy shifts I saw my dad work when I was a kid. I got used to his shifts changing on a whim when someone "bumped" him off his job, and he was powerless to do anything but show up when they wanted him there because he was the low man on the totem pole in terms of seniority. Even the last few years before he retired, when only two people in the entire state had a higher seniority number in his position than he did, he was still worried about being bumped off his hours/days from time to time.

Now I find myself faced with working a similar shift for an indeterminable length of time as the one I remember being the worst for him when I was young. My father is a much stronger man than I am in many ways, and working that shift was extremely hard on him. Basically it was a back fill position spanning all three shifts each week. One midnight shift, two afternoon shifts, two day shifts, and two consecutive days off in the middle of the week. I'm now facing two mids, followed by a day off which I will most likely sleep away because that single day off is followed by a day shift....which is then followed by another day off and two consecutive afternoon shifts. Plus school. Not a full time school schedule mind you, because I can't find a full time schedule that will work with my shifts and days off, but still two pretty intense classes that I will need to really apply myself to do well in.

Now, my dad didn't have the school schedule to worry about....but he did have me to deal with. I don't know which is worse, but I'd say I am getting the better of it there. I'm sure dealing with me has never been all that easy....I'd choose spending time learning about crazy people and how to figure out what is wrong them over dealing with a young me any day, and twice on Sunday....well, as long as my Sunday work schedule permits it of course.

A Delicate Balance

Supposedly every cloud has a sliver lining. My silver lining just may end up being a silver bullet. Whether I fancy myself a vampire, werewolf, or just a mortal man, that silver bullet could do plenty of damage to me. While my father had no choice but to show up when they told him to because of his relatively low seniority level, I have a very high seniority level in my current position. I could pull rank and force them to even things up a little more, or even completely take over someone else's shift. As far as I know, only one person can outbid me. The problem with that is how many toes I would step on....and the likelihood of those toes coming back to kick me in the ass at a later date.

I've already seen enough petty shit go down to worry about it happening to me....and I get along with everyone I work with very well. I could only imagine the odds would increase tenfold if I pissed off a few people in my area. Unlike a standard office job where you can file your paperwork and do most everything you need to accomplish all by yourself, this job requires a lot of teamwork for a lot of different things. No one knows every little detail about how or what we do in every instance. We all have our own skill set and level of knowledge. While I have seniority over almost everyone, I am seriously lacking experience with just about everything in this new position and have to rely on someone else multiple times per shift to help me out, even though I am technically supervising them. That in and of itself can easily lead to animosity, and if I start throwing my weight around to get my way....I'm pretty sure I'll end up with a target on my back. Even if I don't, I'm still going to feel that way. Then I will be working paranoid and double checking every single thing that someone else does....I can only imagine that will also create a bit of animosity.

So here I am....trying to figure out how to balance this all and keep the attitudes and egos in check. I am a wonderful problem solver....but I am pretty stumped at the moment. How long would I have to suffer through this shift before I wouldn't be seen as a bully for pulling rank and taking someone else's shift? Will it be longer than I can keep myself from falling seriously behind in school? What will happen with my friends and loved ones in this time? I already don't get to see the people I want to nearly enough....

One question leads to another, then another....and so on. At least with all these shift changes, I'll have a decent amount of time to think it over before I report to work tomorrow night for the first of four consecutive midnight shifts.

Morning Music, 8-07-10

1. Being Here- The Stills.

I been everywhere enough
I been torn apart by love
But there's apples in the trees
and diamonds in the earth

2. My Chick Bad- Ludacris.

I'm saying my chick bad
My chick hood
My chick do stuff that your chick wish she could
My chick bad, badder than yours
My chick do stuff that I can't even put in words
Her swagger don't stop
Her body won't quit
So fool pipe down you ain't talkin bout shit

No time for games, she's full grown
My chick bad, tell your chick to go home

Now your girl might be sick but my girl sicker
She rides that dick and she handles her liquor

Test her and guns get drawn like cartoons
Doh, but I aint talkin bout homer
Chick so bad the whole crew wanna bone her

3. Kiss With a Fist- Florence and the Machine.

Blood sticks, sweat drips
Break the lock if it don't fit
A kick in the teeth is good for some
A kiss with a fist is better than none

4. According to You- Orianthi.

According to you
I'm boring, I'm moody,
And you can't take me any place.
According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.
I'm the girl with the worst attention span;
you're the boy who puts up with that.
According to you. According to you.

But according to him
I'm beautiful, incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny, irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.

I need to feel appreciated,
like I'm not hated.

5. Wrong- Depeche Mode.

I was marching to the wrong drum
With the wrong scum
Pissing out the wrong energy
Using all the wrong lines
And the wrong signs
With the wrong intensity
I was on the wrong page
Of the wrong book
With the wrong rendition
Of the wrong look
With the wrong moon
Every wrong night
With the wrong tune playing
Till it sounded right, yeah

Wrong
Wrong

Too long...

6. That Was a Crazy Game of Poker- O.A.R.

And I walked into the bar yesterday
Cause I had something to do, something to say
And Johnny walked in right behind me and I didn't turn around
Til I heard the sound of his feet falling on the ground
I looked over my shoulder and I saw a clown
And I said what'cha doin' in the bar tonight.

So I said Johnny whatcha doing tonight?
He looked at me with a face full of fright
And I said, how bout a revolution?
And he said right.
I say of, you say a
I say revolution, and you say jah
I say of, you say a
I say revolution, and you say jah jah jah
Jahova!

And I said, what'cha looking at?
He hit me across the face with a bat
I grabbed my .45 and I said let's get out and go
So he opened the door and said do what you're here for
I said I'm wandering round the road four to four
And I said I been walking for about a thousand years.

And my feet are growing tired
My eyes a little wired
Don't know what to do unless I retire
And he just said let's play some crazy poker

7. Just the Way You Are- Barry White.

Don't go changing, trying and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from my heart
I could not love you any better
I love you just the way you are.

8. Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol.

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
would you lie with me and just forget the world?

9. Your Body is a Wonderland- John Mayer.

We got the afternoon
You got this room for two
One thing I've left to do
Discover me
Discovering you

One mile to every inch of
Your skin like porcelain
One pair of candy lips and
Your bubblegum tongue

And if you want love
We'll make it
Swim in a deep sea
Of blankets
Take all your big plans
And break 'em
This is bound to be awhile

Your body is a wonderland

Something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face
I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillowcase
You tell me where to go and
Though I might leave to find it
I'll never let your head hit the bed
Without my hand behind it

10. Come on Get Higher- Matt Nathanson.

I miss the sound of your voice
And I miss the rush of your skin
And I miss the still of the silence
As you breathe out and I breathe in

If I could walk on water
If I could tell you what's next
I'd make you believe
I'd make you forget

So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love
So come on, get higher, loosen my lips
Faith and desire and the swing of your hips
Just pull me down hard
And drown me in love

I miss the pull of your heart
I taste the sparks on your tongue
I see angels and devils
And God, when you come on
Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on

August?

August already? Awesome.