So we got to Chicago about 2:30ish and were checked in to our "fabulous" room and drinking by three. My first two St. Patty's day drinks? A shot of Patron and a Corona. I love celebrating my Irish heritage. From there we walked around a bit, grabbed lunch at Quizno's where I had a tough time paying with a hundy, and got a couple more drinks at Sullivan's and headed back to our hotel for their free wine hour between 5-6. Sufficiently crocked at the end of the hour, Mark went back to the room to grab the bottle of wine he bought on the drive out. I initially said no to the extra wine so I could head upstairs and freshen up for our pub crawl with Cathy.
Not often do I have great advice for everyone, but here is one piece that I can't help but pass on: Don't shave when you are hammered! Not sure why this didn't occur to me before I tried it but hey, I was hammered and all.
Met up with Cathy and her friends at a pub called O'Hagans for some more beer. This time I believe I was drinking Boddington's, an English Ale, to celebrate my Irishness. My first impression of the bar was some random drunk chick resting her head on my ass as I stood in line for drinks and Cathy hugs. I heart drunk people. Why isn't St. Patty's day a monthly holiday?
After a couple of hours of more drinks and outlandish conversations with a whole bunch of people I didn't know, we filtered over to a pub called Blarney's. This is where things got a little interesting. By the time I made it in the bar and to our group, with a pit stop to break the seal, Mark was already "sleeping" on the pool table, much to the chagrin of one of the old ladies who must have worked there. I made a comment to the effect of, and mind you I was drunk too so the verbiage recall may not be perfect, "The only way you could wake him up right now would be to slap him in the face. Without hesitation, Cathy's friend Anna (Ah-nah, she's Russian) leaned in and gave him one on the cheek that had to sting, even in his state. Mark comes to, sees everyone standing there laughing and decides that I need to wear his drink. His aim was damn good considering how blown out he was, cause that thing hit me right in the face. Thankfully it was only water, because a deer dousing may have led to a bar fight.
After a lot of arguing about the incident between Mark and I, and even more between Mark and Mike, everything calmed down enough for one more drink before heading to the next bar. Not sure the name of the next one, cause we never got in. Cathy's friend....umm....Jeff?....the God of Biscuits....maybe. Anyway, him, was about to yak while we were in line and they decided to take him home. Once they left, we saw no reason to wait in line while we had a perfectly good O'Hagans we could hit again and skip their line because we were already stamped.
I believe it was on the way back to our first pub that I found out Mike was nearly in a fight with a bagpiper. As he was leaving O'Hagans for Blarney's, the bagpipe band was on their way in. I guess one of the pipers thought Mike was just being a bastard and pushing the guy while they were passing in the doorway. The guy started pushing as well, and at one point turned his body quick enough to slap Mike with the pipes. This is where I am thankful that I wasn't going with them at that time. Knowing how I am when I get drunk and people do things to my friends, I probably would have asked Mark for his pen, he's always got one you see, and I would have tried to pop the bagpipes. I wonder if that would have turned out good.
Back in O'Hagans we make friends with a girl all decked out in Guinness attire, at least a shirt anyway, her brother from Ohio, and his girlfriend. They turned out to be really cool people, especially Alexis the Guinness girl who bought me a beer, and we all exchanged info so we could possibly meet up again the next time we are in Chicago. At one point I was talking to Stephanie, the brother's girlfriend, and when she leaned in to hear something I was saying we noticed that the air duct below our table was blowing air super hard and her hair was all over. I said something about it looking like she was in a photo shoot, she posed a bit, I grabbed Mark's camera, and I now give you quite possibly the coolest picture I've ever taken.
From there the night winded down and the bar closed at 3ish. I decided that we needed more beer and I would lead Mark and Mike to a bar about 4-5 blocks away that I knew was open later. On the walk their, the others called no joy and hailed a cab about a block away from the bar. After a little arguing I got in the cab with the understanding that we'd try and find the bar which the other two said wasn't even there to begin with. I get in and give the driver easy directions, three consecutive lefts since we had to deal with one way streets. He nailed the first two turns, but passed the third and we ended up right where we started. The three of us argued a little about the accuracy of my directions, using the cabbie who messed them up in the first place as an arbitrator. It's then decided that the cab will go back to the hotel, so I duck out at the first stop sign and make my way to the bar, just in time for last call.
On my way out of the last bar I somehow end up talking to three local girls and we end up going to the Mexican place across the street to get some bad food. The whole thing is a little fuzzy at this time, but I know that two of the girls were drunk, one looked like Lisa loeb and the other was a cute Asian girl that Mark would have loved, and interested in hearing what I had to say about how often guys use fake back stories in bars. I guess they had run into a group of guys from Michigan claiming to be fighter pilots that night, and asked me if I was with them. The conversation was light and virtually disappeared when the food came, with no drinks. Not even a water. I finished quicker than they did and got up saying I needed to find my friends and head back to the hotel, wished them well and left....sticking them with my tab.
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