Just Lose It

So I am preparing, yet again, to start another "get back in shape" routine. Last summer, when my heart was set on it, it was pretty damn easy to drop the weight I did, and as quickly as I did it. Hitting the gym 5-6 times a week and eating right definitely agreed with me....whereas, not going to the gym and eating crap all day, every day, has not.

I've ballooned back up to 240 lbs. It's still not as bad as last summer, when I weighed in at an all-time high of 245 lbs just before I changed my lifestyle, but still....being in the 240s is kinda scary. I'm not exactly tall at 5'10". I'm not exactly young at 33. I'm not exactly muscular anymore either.

I won't officially start my diet/exercise program until Monday, but I have been making small strides here and there in preparation of it. I can do things like this cold-turkey, but I'd much rather ease into it. So a lot of my snacks have been healthy choices lately. I am back to having one low-sodium V8 per day, even though I still wince every time I down it. Juice instead of pop as my sugary drink of the day at work. Saying no, or at least postponing, the bad cravings. Example; I bought a Milky Way at lunch yesterday because I had a STRONG craving for it. I never ate it. I will eat it sooner or later, I am sure, but I denied myself that craving for a while. If I only act on them every other time, I'm doing twice as well as I normally would.

Postponing those indulgences has another upside for me. Doing stuff like that often drives Mark crazy. He and I like a lot of the same things, so when I buy a candy bar or cookies or something that we both like, only to put it on top of the fridge for a few days, or even weeks in some cases, he notices it right away....but can't dig in to whatever is there without asking me first. And when he finally does ask, I always get a kick out of it.

While that is always funny, I think my favorite one wasn't even him asking me about it....it was him TELLING me about it. I don't remember exactly what I had put on top of the fridge, or how long it had been there, but it must have been around Christmas time last year....because I am sure it was a gift. Now that I think about it, I am pretty sure it was an assortment of Godiva chocolates. It was Friday night, and I had a class on Friday nights until 9pm during that semester. I walked in from class, completely worn down from a full week of school and a full week of work and just wanted to grab my laptop and chill out for a while on the couch or in bed. Mark had a different idea.

"Ok. The statute of limitations has run out. I am having some of that chocolate, with or without you....", quoth the Shark.

I pondered that for a second, then simply said, "Alright....let's see what we've got."

I think we spent the next couple hours eating candy and playing Xbox, but that isn't what matters. The greatest thing about that was the look he had on his face when he was telling me about the statute of limitations. He had this fiendish desperation behind his "stern" words about taking the chocolate one way or the other. I've known the guy my whole life, and I have seen that look more than a few times....but that one really sticks out.

SO, back from that tangent now. The real reason I started this post was Lose It! It's an app for iPhones and iPods that helps you track your diet and exercise. You make a little profile of yourself (age, gender, weight, weight loss goal) and it plots out your target caloric intake for each day to lose the weight at the pace you set. I have always done very well when I kept a food journal and/or a daily weigh in log. This will remind me to weigh in every day and, since I ALWAYS have my iPod on me wherever I go, this will be much easier to do every time I have a meal, or even a snack, than a food journal would be.

One of the things I like the most about this app is that it has the caloric value for pretty much anything I would eat already stored. I have NO idea how many calories a McDonald's Bacon, Egg, and Cheese Biscuit has in it....but by adding that to my Lose it! profile this morning, I see that I had 887 calories in those 2 biscuits this morning, my last trip to McDonald's for a while, and that I washed it down with another 150 calories in that can of Pepsi I had. In a few minutes I will be adding my daily V8 to the list, as well as my mid-morning snack.

I haven't looked that far into it yet, but I think there is a way to sync Lose It! with twitter and blogs....might be that I can get in a post every few days without even trying.

Dealing With Snow

As the end of February draws near, the snow totals for the area continue to climb. It's nothing like the east coast of course, but it's still no fun to deal with. It seems that we've been getting most of our snowfall in the late night/early morning hours, and always on a day that I have to be up for work. I get up early enough as it is....I don't need mother nature forcing me to set my alarm even earlier than it already is.

Then I have to leave the house. It's annoying to walk out into the snow and be the only set of footprints. I'd love to leave in the morning and have the snow look undisturbed, but my ninja training is not yet complete....so it might be a while before I know how to do that. By that time, I probably won't care anymore anyway.

Tuesday's snowfall started while Denise and I were in class. It wasn't so much a snowFALL as it was a light dusting of powder....on top of the melted snow (aka water) from earlier in the day, which had frozen over in many areas, including roads and parking lots. As we walked to the car after class I mentioned something to Denise about how slippery it was, and for her to be careful not to fall. As usual, I didn't take my own advice. Thankfully I didn't hit the ground, but my foot flew out from under me as I bent to sit in the car, and ended up in the seat a little quicker than I expected. I laughed hard enough to turn bright red....for the second time that night.

Earlier, while in the lab portion of our class, Denise and I were talking with one of our lab partners. The girl seemed shy the first couple of classes, then again who DOESN'T seem shy next to Denise and I, but at one point early in the semester the girl took quite a liking to Denise, and is more than fine sharing all types of stuff with us now. Our lab work saw us doing some things that were very easy to make less than appropriate comments about. Once that started, it just snowballed and turned into a discussion about some "taboo" things that people do. We were laughing so much that the instructor stopped talking to the class at one point to tell us how red we actually were....he seemed disappointed that he wasn't part of it, like usual.

Driving that night was slow. Ice and accidents everywhere. Why is it that cars not too far in front of me are always attracted to median walls like a magnet? I didn't think the road was quite so slippery myself, but then again....I know how to drive.

Last night's snow wasn't so bad really, but it was too warm to actually be snow when it started....so there was a kind of mist that preceded the snow. I heard the roads were slippery, but didn't experience any of that myself, again maybe because I know how to drive, and the worst part of the morning was cleaning off my car. Before I got it the car, I had no idea there was ice under the snow....and didn't really notice it when I brushed off the car. I didn't really notice it until I got a block away actually when I drove under a street light and my windshield started glowing. It was cool....except for the whole not being able to see thing. I stopped under the next streetlight and cleaned off the car yet again.

Looks like we have some more snow coming too. The next few days all have at least some flurries forecasted. The first day without a snowflake in the 10-day forecast is March 1st. Just in time for the month to make it's appearance "like a lion". RAWR!

Morning Music, 2-25-10

1. Everything- Buckcherry.

Buried way beneath the sheets,
I think she's having a meltdown.
Finding it hard to fall asleep,
she won't let anyone help her.

The look on her face a waste of time,
she won't let go gonna roll the dice.
Losing her grace starts to cry,
I feel her pain when I look in her eyes.

I wanna be,
I want everything,
I want everything.

Your eyes,
never close your eyes,
open up your mind,
and you can have everything.

2. From Yesterday- 30 Seconds to Mars.

He's a stranger to some
And a vision to none
He can never get enough,
Get enough of the one

3. Sound of Madness- Shinedown.

Quicksand's got no sense of humor.

The darkest hour never comes in the night.

4. Halfway Gone- Lifehouse.

Talk, talk is cheap
Give me a word you can keep

5. Just Like a Pill- Pink.

Run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears
And I swear you're just like a pill
Instead of makin' me better, you keep makin' me ill

6. I Wanna Make You Close Your Eyes- Dierks Bentley

Girl I've been waitin on this long hard day to get over
So i can rest my head right here on your shoulder
I just wanna lay here and feel you breathe
Listen to the rhythm of your heartbeat
And see where it leads...

We're wide awake but girl I wanna make you close your eyes
And say my name like only you can say it and hold me tight
All I need is only you and me alone tonight
I wanna make you close your eyes

I wanna take you somewhere...out there...
'Til the world fades out of sight

7. In Your Eyes- Peter Gabriel. (NOT the live version)

love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

(In your eyes)
the light the heat
(In your eyes)
I am complete
(In your eyes)
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
(In your eyes)
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
(In your eyes)
Oh, I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes

love, I don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

8. I Kissed a Girl- Katy Perry.

I got so brave, drink in hand
Lost my discretion

I kissed a girl and I liked it
The taste of her cherry chapstick
Mmmm, Chapstick
9. Within a Mile of Home- Flogging Molly.

His empty frame cannot explain, there's nothing left inside
So sing to me a song from yesterday
When laughter filled the tears that we now make

10. Black Dog- Led Zeppelin.

Hey, hey, mama, said the way you move,
Gonna make you sweat, gonna make you groove.
Ah, ah, child, way you shake that thing,
Gonna make you burn, gonna make you sting.
Hey, hey, baby, when you walk that way,
Watch your honey drip, can't keep away.

Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, oh, oh
Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh, oh, oh

I gotta walk, can't stand still,
Got a flamin' heart, can't get my fill,
Eyes that shine burning red,
Dreams of you all through my head.
Ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah ah...

Hey baby, oh baby, pretty baby,
Tell me would you do me now.
Hey baby, oh baby, pretty baby,
Move me while you groove me now

Today's January Jones Pic

Better late than never I guess....Just making sure I kept my word.

Survivalism

Romance, who loves to nod and sing,
I really don't know where to start with this post. It's going to be my own personal bitch-fest. Warning: I feel a lot of whining coming on here.

With drowsy head and folded wing,

I've done more than my fare share of thinking about life lately. I've looked back, I've looked forward, and I've really been focusing on now. And right now, I am in survival mode. That may sound all well and good, but to me it's distressing. Surviving is making it through. Survival is getting by. Survival is the lowest form of existence. Amoeba survive. Survival is, of course, essential to living....but survival on it's own is not life.
Among the green leaves as they shake
Herein lies my problem. I don't want to just survive. I've said it before, and I'll say it again; I like feeling alive.
Far down within some shadowy lake,
By and large I am a very passionate person. When I am passionate about something, I grab it hard with both hands and won't let it go. But I need to have that passion first. I have no passion at work. My job is rather repetitive, and not at all difficult for me to do....but there is no passion there for me. I do my job to the best of my abilities....better than anyone else ever could, save my partner. Our job suits us, and we suit our job. I don't think there's anyone better equipped to do what we do....but doing something well isn't the same thing as being passionate about it.
To me a painted paroquet

I was passionate about my last job from the first day til the very last. Some may say that was my downfall with the job, while I claim my own stupidity was. What led to my departure from that job is not the issue though, it was how I felt about the job. Sure there are aspects I didn't like about it, but I learned very quickly that nothing in this life is perfect. But that job was probably as perfect for me at that time than any job could ever be from now on.

Hath been- a most familiar bird-
I liked going into work. I looked forward to seeing my work friends, as well as the people I worked with who were TRUE friends. I liked what I did, I loved the hours, I really enjoyed going out with all my like-minded co-workers after work, or hitting a random metro-area bar with them on a Wednesday night since we all had midweek "weekends". I also made about twice the money there than I am making now....so that didn't hurt either.

Taught me my alphabet to say-
It's kind of ironic that my last job made it possible for Chris and I to afford the wedding we (SHE) wanted, yet that job was the very thing that finally ended our relationship. After years of our tumultuous life together, it ended up being the final straw. She was a quick tempered girl, for sure, but never showed any signs of jealousy until I started to hang out with my coworkers after work. Since we got out of work at 4am, she could never tag along with us, and the few times she did go out with us when we got together at a "normal" time , she played the outgoing fiance' part perfectly, but her facade was much different than what was bubbling beneath. Seeing as happy as I was with my work friends, and how much fun we had got to her. She couldn't stand that she wasn't really a part of that side of my life, and probably never would be because of our conflicting work schedules.

To lisp my very earliest word

It didn't take her too long to try and force me to switch to the sunrise shift (4am-noon) so we would "have more time together"....knowing full well that would practically end all my current work relationships, and that I would be miserable with those hours because I am a night owl by nature. She argued her side with absolutely no regard for my feelings on the matter, so I didn't let the argument go on very long. At one point, she said something to the extent of, "If you really loved me, you'd do this so we could spend more time together."

While in the wild wood I did lie,
I couldn't believe my ears. Not only was her logic flawed, because we would have had pretty much the same amount of time together, just different hours. What got to me was the use of my love for her as a weapon against me to get what she wanted, without a care about how it would affect me. Less than a week later the wedding was cancelled.

A child- with a most knowing eye.
So now that I have completed THAT tangent, I can now say that where I intended to go with that was independence. Working that job was the last time I felt really independent, which has been harder and harder for me to handle of late.

Of late, eternal Condor years
I've always been an independent person. In my thoughts, in my actions, and sometimes in my surroundings. As much as I love being around my friends and family, and that is the time when I really thrive mind you, I do need to be alone sometimes. I guess time spent alone in my room growing up as an only child could have something to do with that, but I think everyone feels it to some extent every now and again.

So shake the very Heaven on high
My current living situation is perfect for that. My roommate and I are best of friends, and work opposite shifts. But while I have independence at home, I don't feel independent in my life at all....and a lot of that goes back to how much I make at my current job. Before I even get into that, I know I am lucky to even have a job in this area right now....and that my pay is better than a whole heck of a lot of people. I realize this, but that just can't hold back how frustrated I am lately.

With tumult as they thunder by,
About a year and a half ago I decided to go back to school. I was doing ok, but wanted to do more. School and bills were gonna be a little bit of a struggle, but I could handle it and not change too much in my life. So I went for it. Then my first pay cut hit me. Not that big of a deal, it was expected...and only about 3%. No big deal, just a couple small changes here and there to save a few bucks a day. Then the second pay cut hit. And THAT was a big one. Combined with the first pay cut, my annual income decreased by 30%. That was about 18 months ago, and I am still reeling and trying to make things work.

I have no time for idle cares
I know that money isn't everything. If it was, I would have gone and worked with my father years ago. He recently retired, yet another source of frustration for my family and I, but up until his retirement he constantly made a six figure salary. And he loved to tell me how I would have been making nearly double what he did, if not more, had I hired into the job he wanted me to take, when he wanted me to take it. I never would have survived long enough to see that though....and I knew it. I would not have been happy there.

Through gazing on the unquiet sky.
So it's not a ton of money I am looking for. Some more would definitely help, but I think the biggest thing that was lost with my wage cut was my morale. Like so many other things with me, it wasn't exactly WHAT happened, but more so HOW it happened that bothered me....and obviously still does.

And when an hour with calmer wings
It didn't take me long after the pay cuts to look elsewhere. It's not easy to find a good job around here, but thankfully I am not limited to this state alone. I found plenty of good leads out of state. From good jobs that I would like in a city that I love, to great jobs I would love in another metropolitan are that I would definitely like. Those all fell through one way or another, along with my best leads around here as well. The most recent one was number 12. A dozen times I have found positions I have been excited for, that I qualified for, and would excel at. A dozen times I've been denied....or even ignored.

Its down upon my spirit flings-
To be honest, I don't know which is worse. First, I have to clarify that these 12 jobs were not all applied for in the last 18 months. They have been over the last few years while I was in this job. Some of them were for advancement in my current job location, others were local or out of state jobs I couldn't pass up the opportunity to apply and interview for. Unfortunately, I never seem to get to the interview stage anymore. Only one of the 12 jobs that I went after had me in for interviews. A few of them scheduled interviews, only to have it fall through for one reason or another, but a good amount of those 12 never contacted me at all. And now that I think about it, not a single one of the local jobs contacted me, while all but one of the out of state jobs wanted to bring me in for interviews.

That little time with lyre and rhyme
The one job I did interview for, which is by far the hardest of all these employers to get hired into, I was offered and hired for....but somewhere in the hiring process a certain event prevented me from fulfilling all the required job duties, and I was told to reapply when I could. I was devastated to hear that, but encouraged to get as far as I did. It definitely leaves the door open for better opportunities there sometime in the near future.

To while away- forbidden things!
And just thinking about being hired for that job after the interview increases my level of frustration. Only ONCE in my life have I ever interviewed for a job and not been offered that position, or even a better one. And in my defense, that was a co-op job interview that I was required to go on and the store was required to interview me for....even though both I and the interviewer knew someone else had already gotten the job. So I choose not to really count that as a failure on my part. :-)

My heart would feel to be a crime
Another thing that has been adding to my frustration is the fact that I don't have a vacation to look forward to. Usually I have something planned for the upcoming year by now, and usually it's a Vegas trip, but there's nothing there yet....and I really don't see the prospect for one anytime soon. I've been needing a new car for a while now, and my last job prospect falling through will probably be the difference between me buying a car I want or just a car for transportation....so how could I really justify the extra money for a vacation at this time. So I will keep my nose to the grindstone, every day, while I sit here being the posterboy for Southwest Airlines. I just want to get away.

Unless it trembled with the strings.

Morning Music, 2-17-10

1. Lost?- Coldplay.

Just because I'm losing
Doesn't mean I'm lost
Doesn't mean I'll stop
Doesn't mean I will cross

Just because I'm hurting
Doesn't mean I'm hurt
Doesn't mean I didn't get what I deserve
No better and no worse

I just got lost
Every river that I've tried to cross
And every door I ever tried was locked
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off...

You might be a big fish
In a little pond
Doesn't mean you've won
'Cause along may come
A bigger one

And you'll be lost
Every river that you tried to cross
Every gun you ever held went off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the firing stops
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off
Ooh-Oh, And I'm just waiting till the shine wears off

2. A Lot Like Me- The Offspring

And the rain comes
And the world is on my head
Crave the sun
But I can’t get out of bed

3. Love and Memories- O.A.R.

Maybe I am a crowded mind
I watch your eyes glaze over
Stared down at the floor
You were amazing to me
I was amazing to you
But here we go again

4. (If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To- Weezer.

The rest of the summer was the best we’ve ever had
We watched titanic and it didn’t make us sad

5. Only- NIN.

I'm becoming less defined, as days go by
Fading away, well you might say I'm losing focus
Kind of drifting into the abstract in terms of how I see myself
Sometimes, I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes, I think I can see right through myself
Sometimes, I can see right through myself

Less concerned, about fitting into the world
Your world that is, cause it doesn't really matter anymore
(No, it doesn't really matter anymore)
No, it doesn't really matter anymore
None of this really matters anymore

Yes, I am alone, but then again I always was
As far back as I can tell, I think maybe it's because
Because you were never really real to begin with
I just made you up to hurt myself

6. So I Thought- Flyleaf.

A year goes by
And I can't talk about it
The times weren't right
And I couldn't talk about it

7. Simple Life- Carolina Liar.

An everlasting cigarette
That's all you want
Waiting for a bus to take you back home

'Cause Tuesday came too soon
Wednesday left you feeling used
Oh, tomorrow you hope at least it's warm

8. Rock Me Gently- Wish I Knew.

Touching you so warm and tender
Lord, I feel such a sweet surrender
Beautiful is the dream that makes you mine

Mmm
Rock me gently
Rock me slowly
Take it easy
Don't you know
That I have never been loved like this before

9. The Kids Don't Stand a Chance- Vampire Weekend.

I didn't like the business,
But that was at first glance
Your pillow feels so soft now
But still you must advance

10. Glamour Boys- Living Colour.

I ain't no glamour boy - I'M FIERCE

Cank You Very Much

So there's no way I can't talk about this thing that has been bothering me all week. It's really gotten to me, and I just want it to be over with....so here goes: My name is Max, and I....I have a canker sore.

Why the hell do those things hurt so effing much? It showed up Monday morning and has hurt this whole time. Piercing my lip didn't hurt nearly as much, and definitely not nearly as long either.

Usually these things come and go pretty quickly for me, but this one is just lingering. Worst of all, it's in a terrible spot....low on the inside of my bottom lip. It's affecting my speech, I can't smile without it hurting, and talk about a bad place to have a sore when you are thinking about your social agenda. OK, so it's not like I have a "social agenda", but if I did....

And normally they go away on their on, but even trying the remedies I have been told....this this is still sticking around, as big and painful as ever.

OK. Rant over. On to the good stuffs.

Morning Music, 2-12-10.

1. Invisible Touch- Genesis.

She has a built in ability
To take everything she sees
And now it seems I'm falling, falling for her.

She seems to have an invisible touch yeah
She reaches in, and grabs right hold of your heart

2. Here I Go Again- Whitesnake.

I'm just another heart in need of rescue,
Waiting on love's sweet charity
An' I'm gonna hold on
For the rest of my days,
'Cos I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams

An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known,
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time

3. Soul Meets Body- Death Cab for Cutie.

I want to live where soul meets body,
And let the sun wrap its arms around me,
And bathe my skin in water cool and cleansing,
And feel, feel what it's like to be new,
'Cause in my head there's a Greyhound station,
Where I send my thoughts to far-off destinations.
So they may have a chance of finding a place where,
They're far more suited than here.

BAda-bada ba-bah
bada ba-ba bada ba-bah
bada ba-ba bada-ba
bada bada-bah

I cannot guess what we'll discover,
When we turn the dirt with our palms cupped like shovels,
But I know our filthy hands can wash one another's,
And not one speck will remain.

And I do believe it's true that there are roads left in both of our shoes, But if the silence takes you then I hope it takes me too.
So brown eyes I hold you near, 'cause you're the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere. LOVE this line

4. Epiphany- Staind.

I am nothing more than
A little boy inside
That cries out for attention,
yet I always try to hide
'Cause I'll talk to you like children,
Though I don't know how I feel
But I know I'll do the right thing
If the right thing isn't feel.

'Cause it's always raining in my head
Forget all the things I should have said

5. Revelry- Kings of Leon.

What a night for a dance, you know I'm a dancing machine.
With a fire in my bones, and the sweet taste of kerosene,

6. Inside Out- Eve 6.

I alone am the one you don't know you need
take heed, feed your ego.
Make me blind when your eyes close,
sink when you get close, tie me to the bedpost.
Mmm, rawr.
I alone am the one you don't know you need,
you don't know you need me.
Make me blind when your eyes close,
Tie me to the bedpost.
RAAAWR!
7. All Over Me- Default.

Look at me I'm acting like
Some pathetic little child who's dying
For your attention
I feel my legs but I can't run
Pretty soon I will become the victim
Of my own invention

All I want is you all over me
All I need is you all over me

8. 4am- Our Lady Peace.

I walked around my room not thinking
Just sinking in this box
I blame myself for being too much
Like somebody else
I never thought I would just bend this way

9. Crushcrushcrush- Paramore.

I got a lot to say to you
Yeah, I got a lot to say
I noticed your eyes are always glued to me
Keeping them here
And it makes no sense at all

Nothing compares to a quiet evening alone
Just the one, two I was just counting on
That never happened
I guess I'm dreaming again
Let's be more than this

If you want to play it like a game
Well, come on, come on, let's play
Cause I'd rather waste my life pretending
Than have to forget you for one whole minute

10. Just Can't Get Enough- Depeche Mode.

When I'm with you baby, I go out of my head
And I just can't get enough, I just can't get enough
All the things you do to me and everything you said
And I just can't get enough, I just can't get enough

We slip and slide as we fall in love
And I just can't seem to get enough of

It's getting hotter, it's a burning love
And I just can't seem to get enough of

Up and Down

I'm generally not one to get my hopes up about things. I don't believe in jinxes or anything, but it does always seem that once I start to get my hopes up for something, whatever it is ends up falling through. I can see why it feels this way....when you get your hopes up for something and it doesn't happen, you are disappointed (sometimes even devastated) by it and when you don't get your hopes up, you are less likely to remember the situation later since you didn't have your heart set on it happening. So to kind of protect myself FROM myself, I just don't get my hopes up that much anymore.

Well, a few times in the last week or so I have allowed myself to get my hopes up about some different things....and of course, not too long after I let myself become hopeful I hear one thing or another to knock me back down a bit.

Add to that the fact that my knees and sinuses have about had it with this weather, and a terrible bout of insomnia last night....and this just adds up to one shiny, happy post. Oh yeah....I can't forget my great sarcastic wit today either.

Random thought of the day: I never picture someone old when I hear the name Ryan....

Before I Forget....

Today's promised picture of January Jones.

Waste of a Day

Such a lonely day
Shouldn't exist
It's a day that I'll never miss

Such a lonely day
And it's mine

~~ System of a Down- Lonely Day

Today held a lot of promise. Getting through the week at work wasn't fun at all. It's harder and harder every day to get up and go to work. I easily could have missed work yesterday. I went back to sleep after silencing my alarm....and woke up 40 minutes later, just enough time really to rush in and make it on time. I've been playing with fire with that lately, and it almost bit me in the ass finally. I guess I need to stop the 15-20 minutes of snooze, which I have grown to love, and get my ass up right away when that first alarm goes off.

Today I was up early. Not as early as I would be for work, but only a couple hours later. Early enough that the sun wasn't up yet. I was fully rested, wide awake....and could have gotten so much accomplished. I knew it too. There are PLENTY of things around here I could have done. Instead I fed, watered, and let the dogs out....then climbed back in bed to read. Read a few chapters of my latest book, then slept. And slept.

I was finally up and starting my day somewhere around noon. I woke up a little after 11, but just couldn't drag myself out of bed for almost an hour. And when I finally did, it was to go get some fattening food. I'm supposed to be in the midst of another big weight loss quest, but I threw that out the window. I've said it before, I'll say it again....food comforts me, and I find it very easy to justify eating what I want over what I should eat. It's easier to justify than pretty much anything else. There aren't many things I am selfish about, but it seems to come out most often when it comes to what I want to eat.

So I got the food and came home. I saw right away that today would be a great day for a drive. I even mentioned that in a text conversation pretty early in the afternoon. Did I take advantage of that even? No. After eating, I sat on the couch. I watched some tv that I wasn't interested in. I ignored my book. I ignored my house. I ignored my friends. I ate some more. Drank way too much cola. Made Mark get Oreos when he went out to the store. I know I can be lazy, but damn.

It's frustrating thinking about it now. So many things I thought about doing....things I really wanted to do. Then I didn't do a damn thing.

At least I feel that putting up this post is accomplishing something....even though I am still on the couch, hiding under the hood of my sweatshirt as I do it.

February's First Friday

If we run this light
Ah, Friday is here. The first Friday of February at that. To celebrate, I think I am going to just take it easy this afternoon. I'm feeling a little run down this morning, but I've been dealing with that just about every Friday since I started working the hours I am now. Add to that the things I had to get done, and the commotion all around me this week and I am thinking a nice long afternoon of nothing is a good idea. It's a shame the hot tub is out of commission for a while.
Take a little life
I've really got nothing else to say this morning. I know that the Super Bowl is only a couple days away, and that I would normally be talking about it and trying to handicap it as best I could....but I don't even know the spread yet. I don't even know who is favored. I would expect the Colts to be a favorite, but I know that the Saints are popular with the average recreational bettor. With that, I'd have to say the Colts would be a 1.5-2.5 point favorite maybe....I'll check on that in a bit.
No one will care at all
I've been a little behind in terms of music lately. I finally bought Crash Love from A.F.I. last weekend. I've listened to it all the way through one time, and listened to a string of the songs on the CD a few times. Usually starting with Beautiful Thieves and ending with Medicate. I absolutely love listening to Beautiful Thieves right now. Can't get enough of it.
We can burn it and leave
I also picked up Swoon from The Silversun Pickups the same day I got Crash Love. It was on sale for like half off, and I figured I might as well check them out since they are opening for Muse on 3/13. It would be good to know what to expect from them. I've listened to about half the songs on the CD, and nothing has jumped out at me yet....maybe I'll give the whole CD a listen later today and see what happens.
For we are the beautiful thieves
OK, so Indy is a 4.5-5 point favorite....I gotta say, I like the Saints with that. I think it's the better value with the 5 points, but I wouldn't be confident betting on either team this year. The only thing I know I will be betting on for sure is the coin flip. I've been betting a dollar on tails for YEARS. Wow....I can probably say decades now. This is at least my 20th year betting on tails for the Super Bowl coin flip. Sheesh, where has the time gone?
No one suspects at all
Well wherever that time has gone, my time to blog today has now joined it....

Love Jones

So I really missed a good opportunity last month. Leave it to me to have the idea of posting a picture of January Jones every day during the month of January on February 1st. No matter. This is MY blog. I post things for ME. So I am declaring that February shall be the month of January here at Chronicles of Max. I might not post a picture every single day, but every day I post something, there will be at least one picture.

I'm sure a lot of people won't understand this, and very few people are really aware of this either, but I am just plain in love with this Jones girl. How can I not be? First of all she is beautiful. Just beautiful. The blonde hair, the blue eyes, the fair skin, and those full lips are a deadly combination. Behind those lips hide a smile that I can't help but smile at myself when I see it. And it's not just the smile, but the way her eyes sparkle when she smiles. In my whole life, I've seen very few smiles like hers.

Another thing that's hard to miss is her body. Tall and slender, yet she still has curves. Amazing. And she knows how to use that body. You can see that when you watch her walk. She can exude a calm elegance or a seductive aura just by walking toward ,or away from, you.

I could go on for days about her, but I will put an end to it now. Some things are better left unknown anyway. So, on to the morning playlist.

Morning Music, 2-03-10

1. Resistance- Muse.

Is your secret safe tonight?
And are we out of sight?
Or will our world come tumbling down?

Will they find our hiding place?
Is this our last embrace?
Or will the walls start caving in?

(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
But it should've been right
(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
Let our hearts ignite
(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
Are we digging a hole?
(It could be wrong, could be wrong)
This is outta control

Love is our resistance
They keep us apart and they won't stop breaking us down
And hold me, our lips must always be sealed

2. Dog Days are Over- Florence and the Machine.

Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your loving, your loving behind
You cant carry it with you if you want to survive

3. Walkin' After Midnight- Patsy Cline.

I walk for miles,
along the highway,
well that's just my way,
of sayin I love you.

4. Here (In Your Arms)- Hellogoodbye.

I like,
Where you sleep,
When you sleep,
Next to me.
I like,
Where you sleep;
Here.

Our lips,
Can touch,
And our cheeks,
Can brush.
Cause our lips,
Can touch;
here

Well you are the one, the one that lies close to me.
Whispers "Hello, I've missed you quite terribly."
I fell in love, in love with you suddenly.
Now there's no place else I could be but here in your arms.

5. The Good Left Undone- Rise Against.

In fields where nothing grew but weeds,
I found a flower at my feet,
Bending there in my direction,
I wrapped a hand around its stem,
I pulled until the roots gave in,
Finding there what I'd been missing,

But I know...
So I tell myself, I tell myself it's wrong.
There's a point we pass from which we can't return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.

Inside my hands these petals browned,
Dried up, fallen to the ground
But it was already too late now.
I pushed my fingers through the earth,
Returned this flower to the dirt,
So it could live. I walked away now.

But I know...
Not a day goes by that I don't feel this burn.
There's a point we pass from which we can't return.
I felt the cold rain of the coming storm.

All because of you,
I haven't slept in so long.
When I do I dream of drowning in the ocean,
Longing for the shore where I can lay my head down,
Inside these arms of yours.

All because of you,
I believe in angels.
Not the kind with wings,
No, not the kind with halos,
The kind that bring you home,
When home becomes a strange place.
I'll follow your voice,
All you have to do is shout it out.

6. Don't Trust Me- 3OH!3.

Shush girl, shut your lips
Do the Helen Keller, and talk with your hips

7. Whiskey, You're the Devil- The Clancy Brothers.

Oh, whisky you're the devil
you're leading me astray
over hills and mountains
and to Amerikay
you're sweeter stronger dacenter
you're spunkier nor tea
oh whisky you're my darling drunk or sober

8. Closer- Kings of Leon.

Stranded in this spooky town,
Stop-lights are swayin' and the phone lines are down.
The floor is crackling cold,
She took my heart, I think she took my soul.
With the moon I run,
Far from the carnage of the fiery sun.

9. Rub You the Right Way- Johnny Gill.

What you've been missin' in a man
I can supply, your wish is my command
I'll work hard to fill up your needs
Give you lesson on what it is to

(Feel) Feel (Good) good, baby
Get undressed and slip on this robe
(Re-) Re- (lax) lax, darlin'
Just sit back,

Can you feel the magic in my hands
When I touch and rub you the right way
Stroke applied with tenderness
When I hold and rub you the right way

A light massage, a soft caress
Whenever I need to rub, I run her happiness
Customer satisfaction is a guarantee
So for your pleasure, come on over here

Gonna rub with my magic hands
Give you what you're missin in a man
Stroke you with a soft caress
Applied with so much tenderness
Hold on tight and don't let go
Give you pleasure like youve never known before

10. Teeth- Lady Gaga.

Got no salvation (no salvation)
Got no salvation
Got no religion (no religion)
My religion is you
Take a bite of my bad girl meat (bad girl meat)
Take a bite of me boy
Show me your teeth
I'm a tough bitch

Tell me something that'll save me
I need a man who makes me alright (man who makes me alright)
Just tell me when it's alright
Tell me something that'll change me
I'm gonna love you with my hands tied

Show me your teeth
It's not how big, it's how mean

Show me your teeth
Open your mouth boy
Show me your teeth
My religion is you
Show me your teeth

I just need a little guidance
Show me your teeth

It's Groundhog Day!

To be honest, I have no idea where Groundhog Day came from....but why let that stop me from celebrating it. Groundhogs are cute, helpful to the environment, and I've been told they are also lucky as well. ;-)

The most famous groundhog of all, Punxsutawney Phil, saw his shadow at dawn today. Supposedly that means that we'll have 6 more weeks of winter....but if you consider his track record for predictions is under 40%, it looks like we are more likely to have an early spring. Whatever the case may be, I tend to stick with what the calendar says....but I sure wouldn't mind things getting warm pretty quick around here. I've been itching to get on my bikes the last month or so, and that's not gonna happen until we get some temps above the freezing mark.

It's unfortunate that today is a Tuesday. My longest day of school each week this semester, and I have a couple errands to run between work and school....so I might not get a chance to watch the movie like I usually do each year. Ned Ryerson?!?!

I've often wondered exactly how I'd handle myself if the same thing that happened to Phil Connors ended up happening to me. I'd probably make a few trips to Vegas, betting on all the NHL/NBA money line winners that I could, then hitting some high stakes blackjack to increase my winnings. It wouldn't be a bad idea to pad my net worth every day, just in case February 3rd did show up sometime soon. Mmmm....Vegas anyone?

Since we've already established that today is a Tuesday, there is always the Mega Millions option as well. The jackpot is not nearly what it was a few days ago....but who would say no to $12 million? I guess that means I could skip the Vegas trips as long as I played the right numbers each day....but why would I want to do that? What would be better than waking up in the Bellagio worth at least $12 million more than when you went to bed? As long as I still had both kidneys that is.

Well Vegas or no Vegas, you can be sure I'm going to pay attention to the Mega Millions numbers tonight....just in case. Want to get away?

January

The first day of February is a great time to update my play count for the year. As I was just talking about the movie High Fidelity the other day, I figure a Top Five list is in order.

5. Tik Tok- Ke$ha (9 plays).

I blame this one on iTunes. I had never heard of her until I saw she had something like 3 out of the top five downloaded singles one day last month. This song is kinda like crack when it gets in my head.

Aint got a care in the world
But got plenty of BEER
Aint got no money in my pocket
But I'm already here
And now the dudes are lining up
Cause they hear we got swagger
But we kick em to the curb
Unless they look like Mick Jagger

I'm talkin bout
Everybody getting crunk (crunk)
Boys try to touch my junk (junk)
Gonna smack em if they gettin too drunk (drunk)
Night night we going till they kick us out (out)
The police shut us down (down)
Police shut us down (down)
Po po shut us (DOWN)

4. Beyond the Sea- Bobby Darin (10 plays).

So this may be a 'WTF?' entry....but I just love this song.

Somewhere beyond the sea
somewhere waiting for me
my lover stands on golden sands
and watches the ships that go sailin'

Somewhere beyond the sea
she's there watching for me
If I could fly like birds on high
then straight to her arms
I'd go sailin'

It's far beyond the stars
it's near beyond the moon
I know beyond a doubt
my heart will lead me there soon

We'll meet beyond the shore
we'll kiss just as before
Happy we'll be beyond the sea
and never again I'll go sailin'

3. Bad Romance- Lady Gaga (11 plays).

My annual Xmas eve trip to Somerset resulted in this song getting stuck in my head....and me finally succumbing to the Lady Gaga hype.

I want your ugly
I want your disease
I want your everything
As long as it’s free
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

I want your drama
The touch of your head
I want you leather studed kiss in the scene
I want your love
love-love-love
I want your love

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad
Bad romance

I want your loving
And I want your revenge
You and me could write a bad romance
I want your loving
All your love is revenge
You and me could write a bad romance

I want your horror
I want your design
‘Cause you’re a criminal
As long as your mine
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

I want your psycho
Your vertical stick
Want you in my rear window
baby your sick
I want your love
Love-love-love
I want your love

You know that I want you
And you know that I need you
I want it bad
Bad romance

2. Can't Escape My Love- Enrique Iglesias (12 plays).

What a difference a few years make. Enrique played the halftime show for the Thanksgiving game at the Silverdome in 2001. I booed him mercilessly while he sang "Hero"....then this song came out and I actually liked it. Dammit.

Soon you'll be finding
You can run, you can hide,
But you can't escape my love

1. Ride to California- Paper Tongues (23 plays).

I simply can't get enough of this song. It's been my top played song since I got it a couple months ago.

Going going going to the man in the back
Cut the line if you feel me
Let me hear you say it one more time
I´ve set mind to break free
Now my body is getting loose
while I´ll sinking like a dancing tree

I've been up but I ain't down
I've been lost but now I´m found
I need to leave this for sure
If you got another seat on the bus
Would you let me go