Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Marching On


I find it hard to believe that today is the last day of March. It seems like just yesterday that we were making plans for Marktoberfest and discussing options for New Year's....and now we're a quarter way through 2009. I'm not at all complaining. The latest winter of of discontent is now over, and we are we on our way to much more pleasant weather. Everyone around here could use a little more sun in their lives. Some more than others.

I've been trying to find the motivation to write an epic post today. I have a ton of thoughts that go along with flipping the page on my calendar. I just can't do it. I'm somewhat disenchanted at the moment and have found it hard to express just about anything lately. Starving myself and abstaining from caffeine are not helping, let me tell you.

I am waiting on an answer. More accurately, I am waiting on a question. Within this question lies my answers for many other questions. Naturally, I am going to speculate on what these answers will be anyway....somewhat preparing me for the realities of answering these questions with a question. Whether or not this makes sense, it's still somewhat draining. Throw in a little sleep deprivation and a couple of personal issues, and you've got one disenchanted red-skinned potato.

I may not have the answers. I may not have the questions. I still have my resolve. I know everything will be fine, no matter what. I just have a hard time waiting around when I know I could be doing something to resolve these questions....if I only knew which questions to resolve.

Patience is what I preach. I always advise my friends to "give it time". I don't really struggle with patience myself, but it's hard to practice what I preach with such a restless spirit. Nonetheless, it's what I need to do. It's what I have been doing, and will continue to do. That doesn't mean I can't hope to hear this question sooner rather than later.

So come on. Ask me already.

Monday, March 30, 2009

Day 8


Current weight: 242 lbs

2.5 lbs in a week? Most people would be happy with that, but I was expecting to double that in my first week of calorie counting. The problem there is, just because I was counting all week doesn't necessarily mean that I was limiting the calories. I started out pretty well, going more than two full days before my first cheat meal, but the wheels came off the bus after that.

There was plenty of good food around me at work in the middle of last week. That combined with a morning stop at McDonald's one of the days kept me off the wagon for a lot longer than I had hoped. I climbed back on late in the week, only to fall off again for most of the weekend. So with my back and forth eating pattern, I guess I am OK with a 2.5 lb loss for the week. I'd be happier if it was more, and I will be a lot happier if I can continue a constant loss pattern like this every week. 2.5 lbs per week over 6 months is approximately 65 lbs.

I am only looking to lose about 50 lbs, depending on how much muscle I add in that time, but if I can stay on pace for a loss like that, I will be in a good mood in a month or two. Something to look forward to, eh?

A big reason that I didn't reach my goal was the lack of workout time. My plans fell though even worse there than with the food. Part of it was dislocating my pinky toe on my right foot....again. I tried to run on it a few days afterward, and that was NOT happening. Even so, I should have done a lot more in terms of lifting....but I didn't.

Well, last week is gone. Nothing I can do now but make sure I implement this week's plan a little more effectively. One of the goals for the week is to go caffeine free. If that happens, you might want to avoid me during the evening around midweek. That shouldn't be too hard. With my school schedule, the only people I should even see around that time will be classmates.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Morning Music 3/25/09



I slept very soundly last night, but I just get up too effing early....I need me some good music. Let's see what the iPod has for me today.
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1. Gotta Serve Somebody- Bob Dylan. Ironic that this is the first random song as I start work.

2. The Greeting Song- Red Hot Chili Peppers.

3. Drown Me Slowly- Audioslave. I've always liked their sound, and this is one of the songs I like most from them.
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4. Still D.R.E.- Dr. Dre. The beats he laid for other artists (like Eminem) and himself around this time were completely infectious. I'm not sure that I could listen to songs like this on a regular basis nowadays, but it's good to hear every now and again.
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5. The Carpel Tunnel of Love- Fall Out Boy. I'll never forget seeing the video for this song when I caught them at DTE Energy Music Theatre in beautiful Clarkston, MI.
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6. I Ran- Flock of Seagulls. One of the definitive songs of the 80s. Every time I hear it, I think of playing GTA: Vice City. That series of games is so addictive. I have already finished the storyline in GTA IV, but keep playing it anyway. It has replaced my poker addiction lately, but I kinda regret that....at least the poker can be profitable.
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7. Riot- Wyclef featuring Serj Tankian. This is the first song off of Wyclef's Carnival II CD, which I had been waiting YEARS for by the time it finally came out. It's a great way to kick off the album, and the blend of Wyclef with Serj (lead singer of System of a Down) works a lot better than you would think.
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8. Pain- Jimmy Eat World. I really think they would have had a little more staying power if they didn't have such a gimmicky name. I like a lot of their stuff, but I would never tell someone I am listening to a band called Jimmy Eat World.
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9. You Make My Dreams- Hall and Oates. They have some pretty terrible songs don't they?(hopefully you are not reading this Kimmy) This song always makes me think of The Wedding Singer. Isn't Alexis Arquette scary?
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10. Push It- Rick Ross. It's not nearly as good as Hustlin', the Katt Williams anthem, but it's still a catchy song. Good to see that hip-hop artists have started this new thing called sampling.
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Overall this is a really good playlist for me. Only one song on here that I would skip over on a normal day. It's definitely helped me get through my morning, which has gotten a lot more hectic than I expected. Started this post at 7:22, not posted until more than two hours later. Although I am happy because me being busy=quick work day. No time to sit and think means no time to notice how tired I really am today. A nice virtual perk.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

You Know That I Could Use Somebody....

Today's morning playlist was inspired by a good friend. One whose taste in music I completely respect, and that is saying a lot. A few weeks ago she gave me a song to check out as "homework". I must have listened to this song four or five times in a row right away, then promptly bought the album from iTunes.

I was already familiar with Kings of Leon, but had not heard the song Use Somebody until my homework assignment. I knew one of the songs on their new CD and really liked it, so after hearing Use Somebody and previewing a couple other songs, I knew this was a CD I wanted to buy.

By now I have probably heard every song on the CD at least once, but I am yet to listen to it from beginning to end....which is not like me. Well, today is the day. I'll have a relatively quiet morning, so it seems like a good opportunity to me.

Then after this I will have to bug her for another homework assignment. Her music taste is very similar to mine, which is probably why I respect it so much ;-). Actually, she is very much like me in many ways. I've referred to her as "my better half" on more than one occasion. We aren't married or anything, but she is kinda like a female version of me....except she wears a halo and I am comfortable with my horns. I am always eager to find out what she's got piped into her ears at any given time, so I hope she has something ready for me today.

Monday, March 23, 2009

Day 1

Tomorrow (more accurately, later today) will be my first day of crazy calorie counting. I've done this before, and I know how well it works for me....but I am not looking forward to it. The first couple weeks are so hard, but also the most important. I give myself a little leeway here and there to cheat, but nothing outrageous, and that helps to get me through. If I can keep the cheating to the bare minimum in the next two weeks, it will set a great tone for the next 6 months.

For a couple years now I have had a standing agreement with my mom. If I can drop down to 200 lbs or less, she will quit smoking. The last time I weighed less than that, I was a teenager. According to the personal trainer I consulted last week, it won't be very easy for me to do. With the amount of lean mass I have on my body, I would probably need to get my body fat percentage into the single digits to drop below 200. I know that it's not always easy obtaining something you want, but I have shown more motivation for a number of things in the last year than I had in the previous 5 or so. I broke out of my rut a few months back, hopefully this is the start of a new, rut-free, journey.

Starting weight: 244.5

Lets see exactly how quickly I can get to 200, and what my body fat percentage is when I get there.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes....

It's been a hectic couple of weeks, and it's nice to have some time to chill out and organize my thoughts. I've got some serious thinking to do, and even though it seems like I have a decent amount of time to make one major decision, it's going to seem like no time at all I am sure.

The world works in strange ways. You can spend most of your life dreaming about something, then when you finally realize it's just a dream and move on....it doesn't take but a minute to drop back into your lap and say, "Here I am!"

After years of hoping to find a path that will take me where I need to be, since I didn't know where that was, I finally know my destination and can see plenty of paths to get there. Now I just have to choose the one that fits me best.

Along the way I know I will have to give up a lot, but how much is too much? At what point will I give away so much that I end up losing myself in the process?

I have changed a lot over the years, and am definitely not afraid of change. Little by little, we all change every day. It's a gradual process with some big jumps here and there, but real change takes time. It has to. Even if you quit something cold turkey, you still crave it. Over time you won't crave it anymore. One day, you can even forget about it.

My issue here is figuring out how much I can walk away from in a short period of time, given the recent changes I've already gone through. I know I will figure out what is best for me....I just hope it's sooner rather than later.

Friday, March 20, 2009

If Your Body Matches What Your Eyes Can Do....


Another morning that I have to get up and go to work....another random playlist. Today I let Mr. iPod select all the songs for me. It won't be long before I am writing a post titled R.i.P.od, so I might as well let him have his fun while he still can.

1. Paralyzer- Finger 11. I pretty much love this song. Great way to start the day. I couldn't have picked a better song myself. Thanks iPod.

2. Rapid Hope Loss- Dashboard Confessional. I need to ban most of their songs from my shuffle playlists. This is too "ugh" for a Friday morning. I don't want any of this lover's lament crap. I want something peppy, something happy, something up-tempo. I want something snappy. Or maybe this is iPod's way of telling me I need to provide someone a confessional by the dashboard light....or maybe I just read too much into things.

3. Ghosts, some number, one of the fours discs- Nine Inch Nails. Ironically, after thinking about how my iPod was going to crash soon, I had a problem with it freezing up after the 6th song on my shuffle playlist, so I can't go back and see exactly which track off the the album this was. I just know it was one of the more NIN-ish tracks, and it was only about 2:30 in duration. A nice rebound from the Dashboard song.

4. Torch- Alanis Morissette. So my iPod is definitely bipolar today. Back to the sad, weepy stuff. That being said, I actually like this song. I've never thought Alanis was a great singer, but I have always respected her songwriting. I don't know exactly what it is about her latest album, whether it's the fact that she seems so much less bitter now than she used to or the fact that this album is mostly about her very public breakup a couple years ago, but I really like a lot of the songs on the CD. I'll probably listen to it in full later today.

5. Ring of Fire- Johnny Cash. YES!

6. I've Got You Under My Skin- Frank Sinatra. Great song detailing how easy it can be to fall for someone you really shouldn't, even as you remind yourself what a bad idea it is. "Don't you know little fool, you never can win. Use your mentality, wake up to reality...." I'm sure stories like this go back to the beginning of time, and will continue on well after I am gone. I'm just not sure why. We all have the capacity to make the right decisions. For the most part, we know what we should do in situations such as this....but it doesn't always work out that way. All I know is, this is a subject for a lengthier post somewhere down the line.

7. Loving the Alien- Velvet Revolver. I always dug this song, but never could have told you the name of it until this morning.

8. Do Me a Favour- Arctic Monkeys.

9. One Night in Bangkok- Murray Head. I think I like the extra long intro more than I like the song.

10. Baba O'Riley- The Who. Also known as Teenage Wasteland to those who aren't fans of The Who. I have always absolutely loved this song, but I need to skip though it because it doesn't sound the same with only one ear bud in. Some songs you need to hear in stereo to get the full effect, and this is one of them.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Monday, March 16, 2009

Morning Music 3/16/09


As promised, here's what I started the day off with today.
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I totally randomized the playlist today (as you will see by the first song) because I didn't have anything in mind other than just getting that Patti LaBelle song out of my head. I also started it in the car on the way to work instead of at my desk. I was desperate to get rid of that song before it got any worse.
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1. Every Time (In the Zone Remix)- Britney Spears. The only Britney song I have on my iPod. I like this remix, even though I don't like the original song. They change her voice enough in this mix to make it sound kinda like a chipmunk, which is waaaay less annoying than her real voice. That being said, I think "If You Seek Amy" might make it onto my iPod sooner or later. It's starting to grow on me.
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2. Give it Away- Red Hot Chili Peppers. Been a while since I've heard this classic, and it was a very welcome surprise.
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3. Hammerhead- Offspring. I really like this song. One of the two off their new CD I listen to on a somewhat regular basis. It's pretty much a standard Offspring song, and sounds like 90% of their work since back in the day, but the guitar in this song really gets me going. Just what I need the morning following no sleep.
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4. 33 Ghosts IV- NIN. From the recently released 2-disc instrumental album. I am not used to hearing just one of these tracks at a time. Most of NINs music is best when heard from beginning of CD to the end, and even more so with this album. It's great background music for just about anything. Never too loud, never too soft....it's what we listened to in the room on NYE before hitting the casino, and everyone liked it even though I was the only NIN fan there.
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5. Stand Up- Flobots. I wasn't very impressed with this CD other than Handlebars, but the lyrics of the songs (especially this one) are somewhat thought provoking, if not a little too political for me.
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6. Flathead- The Fratellis. This is just a fun song overall. Upbeat tempo. Another good choice from Mr. iPod.
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7. Sophia- Bif Naked. Still know the words to this song. Nothing special though.
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8. Dance Floor Anthem- Good Charlotte. Definitely the song I would have chosen from them, but still not bad. I guess it's good to listen to the deeper cuts every now and again.
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9. The Crawl- Placebo. In this song the androgyny of Brian Molko is VERY apparent. At times he sounds like he should be performing at The Birdcage.
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10. Cult of Personality- In Living Colour. The perfect ending to my morning playlist. One of my favorite "get up" songs ever. This is also one of those songs that has one distinct memory tied to it that I think of every time I hear it. It's nothing that would be memorable for any reason really, but coincidentally this song was playing when it happened.
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If....You....Ask Me To


One of the great things about listening to a news radio station in the morning as I get ready for and drive to work is that I never get stupid songs I don't like stuck in my head. Except for today that is. I guess Patti LaBelle is coming to town soon, because they keep playing an ad for her on the station I listen to. As I showered this morning, they played a little bit of this song and it got firmly lodged inside my cranium.

I had intended to go iPodless today because I have a lot of work to do in preparation for the next couple days, but with that running through my head before I left for work I decided I needed a way to counteract it. Thankfully I didn't hear the radio ad on my way to work after leaving my iPod at home for the day.

So instead of a stupid song I don't like being stuck in my head, I am currently listening to Right Round by Flo Rida....a stupid song I actually like. This will surely get stuck in my head, but I am OK with that.

Since I intended to go iPodless today, there obviously wasn't going to be a shuffle post for this morning....but that has now changed and my loyal readers will be treated to at least one more post later today. I know, I know....I spoil you, but I am OK with that as well.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Marketing


I feel a little weak. I think I just got sucked into going to see Watchmen just because they used a Muse song in the last commercial I saw for it....well, that and Kelly Leak is in it.

Friday, March 13, 2009

1,000,000



....I feel a million miles away, I don't feel anything at all.

Without being too over dramatic, this is about where I am right now. Tuesday is a huge day for me and I have been stressing about it for a while now. To combat that, I needed to shut down my emotions. This is my superpower, being able to do this.

Until yesterday, I had been working on a project the likes of which the world has never seen. OK that may be a little much, but it was quite an effort for me to get this done. To do this project, I needed to tap deep into my emotions and couldn't shut them out until all the work was finished early yesterday.

Last night I suggested a friend go here and download the latest CD from Nine Inch Nails. The band has offered this as a FREE DOWNLOAD so there is no reason not to get it and listen to it at least once. This is not really what I would call a "concept album", but the songs are arranged the way they are with great purpose. I suggest you listen to it from beginning to end in one sitting to best experience The Slip.

After making the suggestion last night, I figured The Slip would make a great Friday morning CD, especially considering the lyrics up top here from the song 1,000,000. I didn't really need any motivation this morning, but it's always great to listen to NIN. Yesterday I said that Bob Dylan could do no wrong in my eyes. Trent Reznor is very much the same to me.

I've heard the two compared before and while it's not a comparison I would make, I guess I am kind of OK with it. I've said plenty of times that Conor Oberst is the closest thing I've heard to Bob Dylan since Dylan himself, but I put Reznor on the same level as Dylan and not below him as I do Oberst. Add to that the fact that the brilliance of Reznor is much different than that of Dylan, and I am just not comfortable in saying that Reznor is like Bob Dylan. It may be petty of me to be bothered by the fact that it's just the wording of the statement I have a problem with, but considering these two men are the pinnacle of lyricism to me....I don't have a problem being petty about it.

OK. Coming back from that tangent now, where I had intended to go was to say that I am constantly amazed by the way Reznor expresses feelings. The song Echoplex is a great example. It follows the biggest mainstream song (Discipline) on the album, and that's always a tough place to fit a song. This song doesn't back down or lose any value following the big hit, and in just four lines says something I have known and felt for many years, but could never find the right words to express.

I'm safe in here
irrelevant
just like they said
my voice just echoes off these walls

I consider myself somewhat of a wordsmith, but I could never come up with something like this on my own. Sixteen words. A truly insignificant amount, with an infinite reach. I can't think of anyone I know that this hasn't applied to at least once in their life. It's gems like this that always leave me wanting more NIN.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Morning Music 3/11/09

Another random playlist today.
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1. Time is Running Out- Muse. The last song I listened to last night before I went to sleep. Must have stuck with me because I wanted to hear it again this morning.
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2. Silvergun Superman- STP. I'm no Superman, but I play one at work. ;-)
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3. Scene from an Italian Restaurant- Billy Joel. I seriously laughed out loud when I heard this....all I could see was Horatio Sanz playing Billy Joel on SNL. I don't think I ever listened to this song all the way through before today, and I can see why.
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4. If You Were There, Beware- Arctic Monkeys. Love this band.
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5. When it's Over- Sugar Ray. At one point, I did have this CD. Now I only have a couple songs from it. I am not disappointed in losing most of it.
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6. Marching Bands of Manhattan- Death Cab for Cutie. A welcome change from the Sugar Ray appearance.
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7. Blue and Yellow- The Used. It's been a while since I've listened to this. I forgot how much I really liked it.
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8. Intermission- Panic! At the Disco.
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9. Brownsville Girl- Bob Dylan. Mr. Dylan is always a welcome addition to any playlist. The man can do no wrong in my eyes.
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10. The Light of a Fading Star- Floggin Molly. I can never have too much of this band in the morning. Something about them just gets me going.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My iPod Has a First Name....


Another random day, another random playlist. First ten:
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1. Vasoline- Stone Temple Pilots. As usual, the first song isn't random. I needed something to help get me going this morning, and this song sounded like a good idea at the time. I am honestly not sure how many times I have seen STP in concert, but this song plays prominently in my favorite memory from their concerts. We went to see them at Cobo when they were touring in support of Purple and they opened with this song, which was their most popular song at the time. I thought that was kinda strange, since I figured it would be in the encore, but the way they came out to the song set the tone for the rest of the concert. I couldn't imagine it going as well had they NOT opened with Vasoline.
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2. Moment of Weakness- Bif Naked. Another blast from the 90s. This was probably my favorite song on I, Bificus, which I listened to all the time when it first came out. I still like most of what is on the CD. Some albums are timeless. You can go back and listen to them and they will still sound as good to you as they did at the peak of your enjoyment with that album. This is not one of those albums. It sounds very dated to me now. The background music sounds almost canned really. The best way I could describe this song is to say it sounded like Renee Zellweger trying her best to sound like a professional singer while using a bad copy of an old No Doubt demo song as the background. That being said, the beat is nice and uptempo....which was perfect for me this morning.
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3. Wide Awake- Audioslave. Not a great song, but not terrible either. Musically I really enjoy it, but the lyrics have never done anything for me. Three solid songs to start off the playlist though. Me: Good job iPod. iPod: Thank you Michael. Me: My name isn't Michael. iPod: I know Michael, and I have repeatedly asked you to call me K.I.T.T. Me: You are an iPod, not the car from Knight Rider.... iPod: Fine. Enjoy the rest of your playlist, jerk.
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4. Song Sung Blue- Neil Diamond. Seriously? Not exactly what I was hoping for, but it's Neil Diamond, so I can't skip it.
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5. Sweet Caroline- Neil Diamond. OH COME ON! I have two Neil Diamond songs and they get played back to back in the first 4 random songs of this shuffle? Can we get a little more shuffle in this 'shuffle' here?
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6. She's My Pusher- The Crystal Method. This is more like it.
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7. Love Association- I Hate Kate. My first time really listening to this song. It's kinda weird. I'll have to give it another go later.
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8. The Judas Kiss- Metallica. After they sold out, got commercialized, and got caught up in the whole Napster ordeal a few years back I kinda was done with them. Then I heard some of the new CD, Death Magnetic. I would hesitate to say that the old Metallica is back, which can't be expected to ever happen anyway, but they definitely went back to their roots. I happily bought this CD the day it came out, and haven't been disappointed. None of the songs really stick out as great, but most of them are very good. This song here is a full 8 minutes of rocky goodness.
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9. My Only One- Plain White T's. Eh....
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10. Can't Say No- The Helio Sequence. I like this song, and this band for that matter, but not what I was looking for today.
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All in all, not bad....except for the Neil Diamond set there in the middle. I really need to make a couple playlists for days like today when I really need a jolt to get going. The first few songs were great, but Neil Diamond can kill just about anyone's mood. Believe me, I found that out in high school.
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Now onto some Flogging Molly before a podcast or two.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Spring Break 09

No classes this week.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

You've Been....Thunderstruck

It seems that spring is actually on it's way. I got to take advantage of the warm weather yesterday and ride to school. The X still has a nail in the tire, so I had to coax Black Betty back to life if I wanted to ride.

Waking her up from her long winter's nap is never easy. It takes a little work, and a lot of patience. I actually began the process on Thursday because I knew I wanted to ride yesterday. Normally I wouldn't have done that, but this year someone turned off the power to my battery tender....back in early November. I knew the weak battery would not be able to hold up if I tried to get her started right away.

I'm not gonna lie, I was a little shaky when I first got her on the road yesterday. It didn't last very long though. Just outside my neighborhood there is a private drive that is somewhat twisty. Most of the buildings there are associated with the auto industry, so you really don't have to worry about traffic right now. I always warm up for a ride by taking that "shortcut" to the main road. She handled the twists better than I did, but then again she is a crazy bitch. I swear she can only say one thing, and that's "I wanna go fast".

On one of the turns I dove in pretty deep, since I was doing twice the posted speed limit of 35 mph, and felt my laptop shift in my backpack. After the turn I immediately backed off the throttle, then started laughing at myself. I am fine risking the damage to my bike if I lay down in a turn at that speed. I have no qualms putting my flesh and bone on the line in a turn like that. But heaven forbid I do anything that might hurt my precious laptop, the cheapest and easiest of the things mentioned to fix and/or replace.

It was good that I went through the twists to warm up a bit on the way to school, because less than 1/2 a mile later....emergency stop. An oncoming vehicle turned left in front of me, not seeing me until I was almost touching her fender. Thankfully I take it a little slower than normal around traffic on an early season riding day like yesterday. I know that no one expects to see bikes this early cause they are still kind of in winter riding mode. Even though I was pretty much ready for anything, she turned so late and my stop had to be so quick, that I locked up my rear which then fishtailed a bit on me. Thankfully that area of the road was dry.

Once stopped I yelled and made some gestures with my throttle hand as I downshifted back to first, and she just shrugged her shoulders at me. I guess getting to the Olive Garden was just that important to her. I wonder what her waitress was wearing. Probably basic white and cotton, but maybe it was silk, maybe something really cool that I don't even know about....

The rest of the night was really uneventful. At school we had an in-class essay, which I believe I rocked, and spent way too much time going over what will be on our quiz when we come back from spring break. I made sure to take the long way home and took Black Betty up through the twists twice more, at a slower speed this time because it was dark, because I know it'll be at least another week or two before I have her back on the road again.

Today, a thunderstorm as the cold weather moves back in. But the early taste of spring has me giddy anticipating the coming change of seasons. Tonight we lose an hour for daylight saving time, so there's no turning back now. Right?

Friday, March 06, 2009

Midnight Madness

I hear my voice of reason begging me to go to bed. Just like I'm walking on the street, I ignore and keep on going. Another few steps and I won't even remember the begger.

I'm exhausted. Physically. Mentally. Totally spent, yet I forge ahead for just a bit longer.

I'm in one of those "whoa is me" moods tonight. I should amend that and say I have been in one of those moods lately. I've had a few balancing forces to keep me on an even keel, but I know it's only a temporary fix. A band-aid. Sweeping it under the rug. The problem remains, but if it's out of sight then it's just as good as out of mind.

I'm not worried. I know that in about a week's time I will just be shutting down all emotion anyway. I have to if I hope to do well out there. I'll be fine then, but right now I want to be human. I want to feel the ebb and flow of emotions. I want to be happy, sad, excited, overwhelmed, and the rest of this emotional cocktail I've been dealing with for a while now. I want to feel this all while I have a chance.

No matter what, I will come back from my trip a different person....but I get to be me just a bit longer. I like the 'me' I've seen around here lately, it's definitely been a good run, so I'm going to take advantage of it while I still can.

Random Songs 03-06-09


Threw the iPod on shuffle this morning and picked Doesn't Remind Me by Audioslave as the first song. Listening to it usually brings a smile to my face at one point or another because there are times I'd rather think of nothing than of all the thoughts swirling in my head. This song can kinda get me to that point if I let it.

1. Doesn't Remind Me- Audioslave.
2. The Thrill is Gone- B.B. King.
3. All the Love in the World- Nine Inch Nails.
4. You're the First, the Last, My Everything- Barry White. Yes, I have the best of Barry White on my iPod. And yes, you should be jealous.
5. Thinking About You- Norah Jones. I'll never tire of her soothing, sultry voice.
6. Jumping Rooftops- Angels and Airwaves.
7. Love and Memories- O.A.R. Another "feel good" song for me. Good job iPod.
8. The Last Fight- Velvet Revolver. One of my favorite tunes from the "super group".
"Breaking the chains of featherweights and giants
With the stain forever lasting liars
There afraid when we spit out the fire
And start living
living
living my friend"
Gotta love it.
9. Hound Dog- Elvis Presley. Not a favorite, but still not bad.
10. Call Me When You're Sober- Evanescence. I used to have a crush on Amy Lee (I surely wasn't alone there) and I still enjoy listening to her sing, no matter the subject. Here, the strength of character in her words makes it even better.

Image Selection: Kind of ironic really. I decided that I would use a random pic as the lead today, so I decided to do a google image search for "random" and I would use the picture located in the 5th spot of the 3rd row on the 9th page of the search results since today is the 5th day of the 3rd month of 09. At least that's what my post title said until just now. I thought it was the 5th until I looked at my watch just a minute ago. I've changed the post title, but I think the image needs to stay since I've decided that I need to just go with the coincidences in my life lately, and not question them too much.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

St Jimmy

When my hair gets a little long, I start to look like Jimmy Neutron. It's something I've used in the past to gauge when I need to get my next haircut. The last few days I've been sporting the Neutron look for a different reason, lack of hair product. More precisely, the hair product I normally use. The gel I have as a backup just in case I run out of the normal stuff isn't so great i guess....but I keep forgetting to stop at the store on my way home from work or school. Hopefully this will serve as a reminder for me when I leave today.

Something caught my attention at school on Tuesday and even though it was applicable, it was not the onion booty. I saw a flyer posted for a school sponsored creative writing contest. The last couple months that is the only kind of writing I can do. My English professor is having fits about that actually. She really likes the way I write, but cannot stand the fact that I tend to stray off the path of the assignment. Actually straying is the wrong word. Sometimes I jump right off the path immediately and blaze my own.

So even though I am running late for class the other day, I stopped to check out this flyer. I was very interested as I read over it, until I saw the due date. March 3rd. Yep, submissions needed to be in by that afternoon. I was like 30 minutes past the deadline already. Oh well, guess I will just have to keep an eye out at school for the winning submission and see how it stacks up to my writing. I kinda hope it's a lot better than something I would write for a contest, that way it wouldn't matter that I didn't get one in. If it's not, I will be unreasonably harsh on myself for walking past that cork board all semester and not noticing the flyer sooner.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Dark Side of the Morning

Although I still get to work more than an hour before the sun rises here, I have noticed that it is beginning to get light out earlier than a few weeks ago. We may be finally coming out of this winter, which has seemed to drag on forever.

While I begin the day on the dark side at least 5 days out of the week, I am definitely a child of the sun. The pigment in my skin illustrates this in the warmer months, easily bronzing if I spend any time at all outside. This is a nod to my father's Native American heritage, which I appreciate much more than the easily burned skin associated with my mother's Irish background.

Being a creature of the sun I like to shine as brightly as I can, as often as I can. Not in an overpowering, attention seeking way...but in a way that can be appreciated by many, even if it goes unnoticed. Whether it's smiling at a stranger who briefly looks up from their feet as they walk toward me or cracking a silly joke to a coworker who is having a bad day, I like to spread the shine I hold within me. But like anything other than the sun, including the moon which looks so beautiful at times because it reflects the shine of the sun, I also have a dark side.

I am a very balanced person in almost every regard, and my dark side is no exception. As brightly as I can shine at any given moment, I also have a drastic dark side to maintain the balance. I have this dark side completely under control nowadays, and never let anyone see much of it at all. Yet it remains.

Sometimes I am thankful for my dark side. I can tap into it for creative purposes, or it can give me great perspective by showing me how bad things could really be in a given situation. I'd have to guess that anyone who is as much of an optimist as I am must have a very controlled, yet very dark side. No good without evil, no right without wrong, and no light without dark.

While this album, which I regard as one of the top three most important albums in history, is not really dark, the title kind of stuck out to me this morning. It's been a while since I gave it a good listen, so here it is helping me get through the morning. Helping me transition from the darkest part of my day to the brightest.

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

The One With the Letter

A few months back I came to somewhat of a personal crossroad in my life. Everything has been so much better for me since then, but I wrote myself a letter that night and don't remember ANYTHING that I wrote in it. It has been sealed ever since. I think it's time to see what I had to say back then.

Spoiler: I hate to be a tease (well, not really), but I probably won't say anything about it again after this.

I'm (not so) Wide Awake It's Morning

I may have gotten more hours of sleep, and better sleep at that, last night than I did on Sunday, but I feel a lot more tired tonight. After such a busy Monday with work and school, I still felt strangely unfulfilled. Thinking too much about how the work/school/work/school pattern was going to be my life for the next few years kinda got to me. I've got so far to go, and have only just begun.

Connor Oberst always has some words of wisdom for me, even though he's a little more than 3 years younger than me, so I turned to I'm Wide Awake It's Morning by Bright Eyes today to get going. I'd say this is my second favorite of his works, with Cassadaga being my favorite, but it has a few songs that I really want to listen to right now, with Lua being at the top of that list.

Dream Commute

I had hoped to embed a great video of what I dreamed last night, but the embedding has been disabled, AND the song Map of the Problematique by Muse (which was definitely in the dream) has also been disabled due to a copyright issue. Nevertheless, here is a link to the video I wanted to post, but with a different song.

This is how I got to work in a dream I had last night, although I definitely was not wearing a helmet, and I don't think I was wearing anything like the suit that makes this all possible.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Cause I Had a Bad Day....

Ever have one of those days where every little thing goes wrong? My afternoon was like that today. I set my alarm a little earlier than normal for a between work and school nap so I could get a few things done before going to class. The one thing I really wanted to take care of took longer than expected, so I was rushing to get out the door. Guinness threw up in the kitchen on the way to letting he and Kira out, and after I let them in I dropped all the food I wasn't putting in their bowls onto the floor. I finally get everything cleaned up and head out the door....without my winter coat, because I left that in Cleveland last weekend, and without my cash. No food or drink for me in class tonight, ugh.

After I get around the slow people as I leave my neighborhood, I take the turn onto a Ford Rd and traffic is jammed before I even get off the ramp. I know full well that the people who live around me can't drive, but it doesn't often lead to a major traffic jam because of an accident. At least I got a decent picture of the day out of it.

Somehow I got to class just before it started, picked up my quiz (the second one I did NOT get an A on in that class), and was a contributing member of the class like normal. I just had no desire to be there, or in the class afterward.

Now it's time to wrap up this, my third post of the day, and hit the hay. I never got out one of the posts I had planned for today, so tomorrow might be another multiple post day. Stay tuned.

PS: This post actually went up Tuesday morning because as I was finishing it up, my laptop refused to connect to my wireless network, even though my desktop was working on it just fine. Gotta love irony.

Scatterbrained

While my brain was bubbling over with random ideas to bring up here on my way to work, most have since subsided into the recesses of my mind. But seeing as I never shy away from talking about anything at all, I will start somewhere and probably end up somewhere entirely different.

First, an observation. The Pistons have strung together two victories for the first time in quite a while from what I can recall. Two road victories at that, Against Orlando and Boston. Even though Boston was without KG, we are still the first Eastern Conference team to beat them at home this year. Iverson has been out the last two games, and Rip is back in the starting lineup. He has scored 56 over those two games. Now I don't mind having the dilemma of three solid, near all-star caliber guards to choose from on the team, but maybe this is not just a coincidence. I respect AI's game and believe he is still a great talent, but I am not so sure he is really the linchpin this team needs. He is certainly nowhere near as good of a fit for team chemistry as Chauncey was.

Until Friday night, every game I had watched since the trade just didn't resemble Piston basketball to me. Most nights it seemed that the team hadn't even practiced for the game. It was all very sloppy, and kinda like a pick-up game. We have some great talent on this team, but as we showed the Lakers in 2004 (yes, five years ago now), having the most talent on the court is not a guarantee to win. I attributed the apparent lack of preparation to the coaching staff, but after watching the team play with Rip in the starting lineup, maybe The Answer is to have AI come off the bench. Something needs to be addressed, and quickly. The playoffs are fast approaching, and we are a .500 team. After 6 years of making it to the Eastern Conference Finals, we are on the verge of completely missing the playoffs.

So watching the basketball game at home pretty much describes my Friday night, well that and being jealous that I had some friends in Chicago for the weekend and I was stuck at home. Saturday wasn't much different than Friday, except it was watching the Wings get BLOWN OUT in Nashville (which is in Kentucky I guess when I get angry and complain about hockey) and I wasn't at home all night because Mark and I actually left the house for a few hours. We had planned to meet up with four friends at a bar that another friend works at, but no one else showed....not even our friend who was supposed to work that night. After one for me, and two or three for Mark, we headed to Xochilmilco's to get some real Mexican food. Unfortunately it wasn't as good as usual, but it still beat any other Mexican option around here that I know of.

After Xochi's, Paul came over and played a little XBox while we talked and I made sure he didn't steal my Criminal Procedure book. Got a few texts from my friends in Chicago which really made me regret not being out there, then went to bed a lot later than I should have.

Yesterday I did something I never would have done before the economy hit the fan....I turned down going to dinner at Melting Pot. It was hard to say no when Denise called and asked if I wanted to go, but staying in with pizza to watch Old School and Talladega Nights seemed the smarter option for me.

I retired early last because I had a couple people to catch up with, and were better to do that than in the friendly confines of my always comfy bed? One person never answered the phone, and the other kept me up past my bedtime again over IM. After a couple hours of restless sleep in which I was constantly talking aloud to my dogs for some reason, I rolled into work a little tired. Hopefully when I get out of here I will have enough juice to make it to the gym, instead of crashing for a nap before class tonight.

Definitely Maybe


Here is the first of what I fully to expect to be three posts today. Little time to sleep leaves more time for the mind to wander, and my mind has been bending in all sorts of directions lately.
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Over the weekend, I uploaded a few of Mark's CDs to my iTunes account and this was one of them. It's been years since I have listened to this album, and I'm glad I am finally doing it again. I liked Oasis from the first time I heard them, and I still do. I have been to two concerts this winter, and other than my usual Flogging Molly pilgrimage (which is yet another post I need to get up, so maybe 4 today?) was the Oasis concert. Ironically, I had to drive through a pretty bad snowstorm for each concert. In the end, both were worth it. Definitely, not Maybe.