I hear my voice of reason begging me to go to bed. Just like I'm walking on the street, I ignore and keep on going. Another few steps and I won't even remember the begger.
I'm exhausted. Physically. Mentally. Totally spent, yet I forge ahead for just a bit longer.
I'm in one of those "whoa is me" moods tonight. I should amend that and say I have been in one of those moods lately. I've had a few balancing forces to keep me on an even keel, but I know it's only a temporary fix. A band-aid. Sweeping it under the rug. The problem remains, but if it's out of sight then it's just as good as out of mind.
I'm not worried. I know that in about a week's time I will just be shutting down all emotion anyway. I have to if I hope to do well out there. I'll be fine then, but right now I want to be human. I want to feel the ebb and flow of emotions. I want to be happy, sad, excited, overwhelmed, and the rest of this emotional cocktail I've been dealing with for a while now. I want to feel this all while I have a chance.
No matter what, I will come back from my trip a different person....but I get to be me just a bit longer. I like the 'me' I've seen around here lately, it's definitely been a good run, so I'm going to take advantage of it while I still can.
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