23 Hours

Early Friday afternoon was absolutely beautiful out, perfect riding weather. After work I quickly changed into some jeans and a t-shirt so I could take the X out for a nice ride up and down Hines. I've been on that road so much this season that I have pretty much every turn memorized. The 40 mph speed limit doesn't do much for me, but that along with the knowledge of the road makes it a very safe trip for me....and I am all about safety when on a bike, ask anyone I have ever cornered and lectured.

After I changed clothes, I threw on my steel toe riding boots and headed outside to warm up the X. Rode her down to the front of the driveway, just before crossing the sidewalk, and ran back in to get my full face modular helmet and my heavily padded kevlar coat with reinforced stitching. Both of which are silver and black, match my bike, and are highly visible to other drivers. Safe AND stylish.

As always, getting out of my neighborhood is the most nerve racking thing for me because of how my neighbors drive. In my hood it is very acceptable to stop where there isn't a stop sign, and to blow though intersections when you do have a stop sign. Once I get through the 6 intersections of my hood, I am home free and can start to enjoy my ride. Which I did.

The ride down Hines was so nice. The temperature was perfect for me, there were very few cars on the road, and the sun wasn't crazy bright or hidden the whole time. I had a great time taking in all the lush green scenery, seeing the few people running or riding bicycles, and catching the glimpse of a groundhog on the side of the road. I don't think I stopped smiling the whole time.

I took Hines into Northville and got off at Seven Mile when I was faced with some pretty dense rain clouds just north of me. I made my way back into Livonia, crossing 275 still on 7 Mile because I didn't want to deal with THAT headache on a Friday afternoon. I decide to take Newburgh back to Hines and head home before the rain catches me, but I had plenty of time since the rain was all north of me. On Newburgh I see a CVS at 5 mile where a construction zone begins. I pull in to the lot, run in to CVS to get a mega millions ticket, and then I can turn left on 5 mile and take that to Levan to avoid the construction. I'd also be riding past St. Mary Mercy Hospital, a former employer, and I like to check out their new additions when I go by, since it's pretty rare for me to be right there anymore.

My plans changed when I came out of CVS though. I was still gonna take Levan, but now some rain had moved in south of me, and it didn't seem like I could make to Hines before it started to rain. Now getting a little wet on the bike doesn't bother me at all, but being on Hines when it's raining does. The slightest amount of rain can cause Hines to flood in many parts, and it happens rather quickly. Not an ideal situation for someone on a low-riding motorcycle.

Reluctantly, I decide to take 96 home. It's just before 4pm, so the eastbound traffic won't be too crazy, and I can get home fast enough to avoid the rain. That way I'll be dry when I eat and head to the gym. It'll work out perfectly. Well, even the best laid plans don't always work out the way you'd hope.


Just past Telegraph I was travelling in the left lane with the flow of traffic, somewhere between 70-75 mph. The vehicle in front of me slowed down rather abruptly, and without brakelights, so I checked my blindspot and made a quick lane change as I came off the throttle. When I swung my head forward as I was pulling into the next lane, I saw why he was slowing down. There was a tire in the lane. Not HIS lane, but the lane I was now in. I know my bike very well, and knew she was up for the maneuvering I'd have to do to avoid this tire.

There was no way I was getting back into the left lane, and riding over the tire was out of the question, so I leaned even harder to the right to avoid the tire. I almost smacked into the side of a box truck in the next lane, and leaned back to the left just before that impact. I saw the tire go by my front wheel as I was coming back into the lane, and was beginning to think how lucky I was as I leaned back to the right to stead the bike in the middle of the lane. Unfortunately, my rear wheel either hit the tire or a piece of debris from is and had zero traction when I leaned back to the right. The front end was stable in the middle of the lane, I was stable in the middle of the lane, but the rear wheel just kept going.

I couldn't hold her up, and she started to low-side. Once I felt that, I jumped off to get clear of the bike. Low-siding can pin your leg under the bike, and at freeway speeds it's not unlikely to lose that leg if a heavy bike drags you a long way. Also, a low side can easily turn into a high side if the tires catch on the pavement. Considering I have a brand new tire on the back, and one with great tread on the front, that was a distinct possibility.

Well, jumping off seemed like a good idea at the time....but I guess I didn't consider that I might land in front of that moving box truck. Which I did. Never in my life have I been so happy to hear someone lock up their brakes as I was when I bounced off the pavement (which I went face first into) and saw the truck bearing down on me. It's funny how the mind works in times like these....instead of panicking and losing my shit, I did a quick calculation in my head to try and predict how bad the impact would be if the truck didn't stop in time and hit me. My answer is the same now as then, I would have survived that impact but if I ended up UNDER the truck....

Luckily the truck didn't hit me, and I tumbled across three lanes of rush hour traffic without being impacted by any other vehicles, as far as I can tell at least. My focus was on forcing my momentum toward the shoulder of the freeway so I could get clear as soon as possible.

Once I rolled sideways, diagonally, and end over end somewhere between 10-15 times, I jumped up, dusted myself off and ran to the crash wall to get as far from the traffic as possible. While doing so, I got my helmet off as quickly as I could (not even thinking about possible neck/back injuries I may have sustained and could have made worse) because my face shield was toasted after slamming into the concrete at about 70 mph, and I couldn't see anything through it.

Next came the jacket. I knew I had injuries and would need to get it off sooner or later, so that came off right away. Then I collected myself and talked to some of the witnesses who stopped to observe the carnage, then got one of them to help me pick up the bike from the middle of traffic and move it to the shoulder. Would hate to keep these nice people waiting on a Friday afternoon ya know. Moving the bike is when I realized how hurt I was. I had no leg strength and no use of my right shoulder without severe pain. All I was able to do really was steer the bike and make sure it was in gear when I left it on the side of the road. I also grabbed the key from the ignition so the bike wouldn't disappear on me....that would be just the cherry on top wouldn't it?

Once the bike was out of traffic, I called my mother to let her know I was ok, but that I had crashed and would be going to a hospital for treatment. The guy who helped me move the bike volunteered to call the cops at the same time. I let my mom go somewhat prematurely because I heard the guy talking to the cops say "driving recklessly and crashed". Needless to say, this did not go over well with me, nor any of the other witnesses.

Shock was beginning to set in when I dialed my mother, and it hit me with it's full force in the middle of arguing with the guy who called the cops. I barely stayed conscious, but knew I needed to so I could explain things to the paramedics and in the ER. When I finally got into the rig and undressed, my blood pressure was something like 67/44. I was surprised to hear that....because I just assumed I'd be out with numbers like that. Things became a little bit of a blur at that time. They got me on 12 liters of oxygen and started an IV as they called in to Sinai Grace that we'd be coming in. I also got a phone call to my mom somewhere in there, but my dad answered and could hear in my voice that I was concerned....which he probably hasn't heard since I was nine and sliced open my foot. I can only imagine what my parents must have been going through at that moment.

When we got into the hospital, my blood pressure was still crazy low, but I was able to communicate with everyone there....which is good because I had four people asking me questions at the same time. I believe I answered them all, but I do know that I stressed to them that I had to be able to fly by Tuesday. Looking back at what could have happened, that's kind of funny now....but I was really concerned that I was going to have to drive out to the east coast a night earlier than I was scheduled to fly.

Sometime in this flurry of approximately 15 people caring for me, I overheard one of the doctors getting the story from the paramedic who took care of me in the rig. After hearing that I walking around when they arrived on scene, had moved my own bike out of traffic, then completely undressed myself in the rig, the doc chuckled and said I was a "tough SOB"....to which the paramedic responded, "well, according to his wallet he's a bad MF" and showed him my wallet in my ziploc bag of personal possessions. I started to laugh, but I was interrupted by a surprise check for rectal bleeding. Why does the guy with the biggest fingers have to do that???

Things slowly began to calm down and I kept the trauma team on their toes with jokes here and there, including the one where I took off my O2 mask to offer my assistance to the guy who couldn't get the vain in my right arm for an IV. I felt bad for making fun of him, although I wasn't the only one, but that seemed to give everyone in the room a nice laugh.

When I was completely stabilized and sent off for an abdominal CT and X-rays to my neck and hands, the guy I made fun of was the one assigned to get me through all the tests. Thankfully he was a good sport, and we had some decent conversation throughout.

After the tests were done, I had nothing to do but wait. And wait I did. I was thrown into a corner in the ER between two guys who did nothing but ask for Morphine every 5 minutes. My family was finally allowed in to see me, but with the limited room in the ER, it's only one visitor at a time. My uncle was the first to come back and see me. He's been riding on and off for at least 45 years, and has been flat on his back a few times himself. I know he had to see how I was for himself, but I really think he wanted to prepare my mom for what was to come if it was worse than they had thought. Luckily it wasn't. My uncle quickly went through my belongings to make sure I had everything, and gave me my phone in the process.

My dad came in next and we had a short, but good, visit because he wanted to make sure my mom got back to see me before they started kicking out visitors at shift change.

Answering texts and setting up later texts and phone calls to inform people of my crash and how I was doing helped kill the time until my mom arrived at my bed. Unfortunately for her, since I had to lay flat on my back I was holding the phone up in the air with my arms straight out. When the nurse pointed her to where I was imprisoned, my mother gasped and asked what was wrong with my arms. She couldn't see my phone from that far away, but the nurse knew I was sending texts like a fiend and relayed that info to my mom.

My mother was the only one brave enough to lift the sheet covering my legs to see how they looked. I didn't think it was bad, but I hadn't seen my legs since I was in the ambulance, and that was almost four hours earlier. She had seen much worse on my uncle's legs when they were younger, but I guess as a parent it's still no picnic when you see your child injured like that. Since I couldn't look, she took a picture with my phone to show me. Even with the terrible lighting, I could see that it was just a flesh wound.

Soon after they kicked my mom out for shift change....then they came back to kick her out again when she didn't leave....and finally the third time they came and asked her, she left. My family knew well before I did that I'd be staying the night for observation, so they got out of there since visiting hours for admitted patients was already over. Between them leaving and being moved up to my room, I got a few calls and a lot of texts in. I called the people close to me who I knew needed to hear about the crash from me instead of someone else, and called my cousin Denise who had been COMPLETELY misinformed of my condition and was having a panic attack. Once I assured her I was ok, she calmed down....well, she got as calm as SHE can be anyway.

My last call was to Mark and, of course, was a request for him to do my bidding. My phone was dying so I needed the charger, and I was gonna be there a while so how about a book? And FOOD. It's been more than 12 hours since I've eaten anything. He also offered to bring my laptop for me, but I declined and was really looking forward to the book to tell you the truth even though I had already read it once. I wanted to get to the motorcycle crash in the book, but never did.

Not too long after he arrived my room was ready and I was moved, Mark followed but couldn't keep up with the little dude pushing my bed and slowed us down a bit. After I get settled in I asked for some water and heard the three letters I was dreading come out of the nurses mouth. NPO. Nil per os. Nothing by mouth. Nothing to eat, nothing to drink. The cupcakes and Slim Jim Mark brought me would have to wait.

Things were pretty uneventful from there on out. Mark took off a little while after I got settled in. The nurse came and gave my my first pain pill of the day, only nine hours after my crash, and I went to sleep.

Routine stuff the next day. Checking vitals every couple hours, another x-ray for my shoulder, NO BREAKFAST, no water, reading my book. Boring hospital stuff til about noon when I finally got some food, and a bunch of water. Then a few visitors, and then my discharge. 23 hours after my crash.

Looking back on it all, I know just how lucky I am that this wasn't worse. Walking away from a highway crash after skipping across three lanes of traffic during rush hour is amazing. My kevlar jacket, full face helmet, and riding boots definitely let me get up off the pavement right away....well, that and not being hit by another vehicle after I came off mine. Had I been wearing appropriate gloves and pants for the highway, I'd have lost about 90% less skin while bouncing down the highway, and would only be sore at this point. While I was wearing more, better protective gear than just about anyone else I have ever ridden with, I could have saved myself a lot of agony with just a couple other items.

I've always pressured friends and family to wear more gear, and spend the money to get quality gear. I have even gone so far as to buy a coat similar to my kevlar jacket for a riding buddy as a gift, because I knew he wouldn't do it on his own. This crash, and the extreme contrast between what was covered with top notch gear and what wasn't, will only make me more vocal. If just one person who hears me upgrades just one piece of gear, or covers up something they never covered before, my story has made a difference.

When it comes to crashes, there is a mentality with many bikers that is very egotistical, and borders on stupidity. The more miles and the more years experience you have on two wheels, the more you tend to believe you can avoid the crashes. Now that is true to a point, but it can become a "that wouldn't happen to me" mentality. I have the experience. I ride with safety in mind first and foremost. To be quite honest, I can maneuver both of my bikes better than most anyone who rides....and this happened to me. Had I not been as protected as I was, had I not been able to maneuver my bike almost completely around that tire, had I not been as lucky with traffic stopping, this very easily could have been fatal for me. Even though it wasn't, I still have to worry about this possibly affecting a lifelong dream I am so close to realizing. All because I didn't have the proper pants or gloves for the speeds I'd be travelling.

It won't be too long at all before I am back on a bike, I am already tuning up my other bike so I can ride it while I repair the X, but it won't be til I replace the gear that saved my life. If this crash has shown me anything, it's shown me that I am on the right track. I may not have been perfect in my riding that day, or my decision to get on the highway without the heavy gear, but I was on the right track at least with the gear I did have. There is always room for improvement, and I am thankful to have a chance to do just that.

The Waiting Game

I've always been a patient man.....thankfully. For most of this year I have been playing one waiting game or another. And here I sit, still waiting.

As the year has progressed, I've taken steps toward certain goals. Each step fills me with a sense of completion, but it's hollow. Nothing is ever making itself known for sure, and while things are going great....here I sit, still waiting.

Knowing what you want, and having it so close within your reach is a very strange feeling. Once you finally get it, you can be overjoyed. Realizing it was just a step, and/or you have to wait to do anything like it again can be very humbling. Sometimes even daunting if the wait seems too long.

And here I sit, still waiting.

For much of my life, I have been very cynical. In the past few years though I have turned into a cynical optimist, instead of the pessimistic cynic I was before that. I can't see living my life any other way now. Instead of always waiting for the other shoe to drop, I always look for that shoe, find ways that it can drop, and figure out positive ways around it IF it does drop. I no longer dread the difficulties in life, I plan for them and know that I will be fine no matter what. But that doesn't mean my life is completely without worry.

The things that worry me are usually the unknown variables....a few of which I am dealing with at this point in time. Some things which are very important to me are up in the air right now. Nothing is promised. This I can handle, but wondering sometimes turns to worry as I sit here and wait.

I have very little control over where certain aspects of my life may lead me in the near future. As a recovering control addict, I am actually fine with this. There are pros and cons to everything, and I am sure I've made exhaustive mental notes on everything. No matter where the road turns, I will be happy in some ways and sad in others. I'll be able to come to terms easier though, once I find out what will happen.

And here I sit, still waiting.

Next week I have yet another step to take. It's a very important step, yet I really can't wait for it to be over. I'll be a much happier man once I get home and have a chance to relax for a couple days. Normally I look forward to flights OUT of Detroit....I am already looking forward to flying back home next Friday. As a matter of fact, I think I may just disappear all next weekend so I can chill out and get my head straight. Tomorrow may be Friday, but I am already looking ahead to NEXT weekend.

Another thing it looks like I will have to wait for are my Dexter DVDs. I keep checking Amazon to see if they have shipped yet, but no. It could take two weeks for them to get here because they won't be shipped until early next week. And here I thought pre-ordering was a good idea. The free shipping doesn't seem to be worth it now. At least I have the books to read in the mean time. Almost done with the first one.

Looking ahead, after all is said and done next week, I'll be right back in the waiting game. So much in my life will be decided in the next few months. There are some possibilities that I never imagined possible. Some still seem far fetched to me, and others just seem....well, they just seem right. Unfortunately, those things also seem diametrically opposed in terms of my future. I can't have my cake and eat it too....although I desperately want to. But again, I just need to wait and see what happens. Not much is in my control at the moment, but I am getting close. Close to something better left unknown if it never happens. Yet for this, I have faith. I can't explain it, it's just there. I've begun to realize a dream I've had for so many years. How can it not happen now? To be this close, to be this sure....I can't believe it will be taken away.

And here I sit, still waiting.

And wait I will.

As long as I need to.

My Dark Passenger

"I just know there's something dark in me and I hide it. I certainly don't talk about it, but it's there always, this Dark Passenger. And when he's driving, I feel alive, half sick with the thrill of complete wrongness. I don't fight him, I don't want to. He's all I've got. Nothing else could love me, not even... especially not me. Or is that just a lie the Dark Passenger tells me? Because lately there are these moments when I feel connected to something else... someone. It's like the mask is slipping and things... people... who never mattered before are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me."

~Dexter Morgan, Season 2 of Dexter.

No TV show has ever made an impact on me the way this show has. As someone who likes to fancy himself a writer, the writing for this show has me completely entranced. Add to that certain topics on the show that have paralleled my life, and you have a "must see" as far as I am concerned. I didn't think anything would replace Mad Men as my favorite TV show for a while, but even as the third season of Mad Men is approaching this Sunday, I find myself anticipating even more the release of the third season of Dexter on DVD a couple days later. There are few TV shows I would ever watch more than once, so I never had a need to buy a full season on DVD when I can just rent them, but I'm definitely considering this as a purchase. Although with my Borders gift card which I received for my birthday last year now spent, on Dexter books no less, I'll have to check the price on the DVD set and add that into my calculation along with the cost of subscribing to showtime....where I might just be able to watch them 'On Demand' anyway.

When I heard the quote above while watching the show, I kinda held my breath listening to it. I've never been addicted to anything in my life, like the group at NA he was speaking to at that point in the episode, but I know this feeling. Some people refer to it more often as the devil on their shoulder, but that implies a conscious decision being made after being persuaded by the words of that devil residing on your shoulder. I've definitely been there too, my devil isn't so small to tell you the truth, but the "dark passenger" analogy really explained certain things I do a lot better than the devil analogy ever could.

This morning was a perfect example of it. I never did any dishes before going to sleep last night, so I wouldn't have time to do the dishes AND make breakfast for myself this morning. No big deal really, I get to sleep in a few minutes more, and I can have a small, healthy breakfast at work. It helped that I wasn't very hungry at all this morning too, so my 70 cal breakfast would have been ample for me until my morning snack. Then when I leave for work, I end up in the drive thru lane at McDonalds ordering a couple bacon, egg, and cheese biscuits even though I don't have the time, nor the desire, to eat them. I honestly didn't want them....but I got them.

I clearly exhibited a few addict traits this morning when I ate breakfast. I've already said I didn't consciously want the food I got....I regretted it at the time, and regret it now. I didn't really enjoy my meal....I just ate it. And when I ate it, I consciously chose a parking spot facing a wall so no one would see me eating them in my car on my way into work. The one good thing about my breakfast, calorie wise at least, was that I had a diet Dr. Pepper with it instead of regular Dr. Pepper....and that was by mistake. And by the way, Diet Dr. Pepper does NOT taste "more like Dr. Pepper" as their slogan says....it's pretty god-awful if you ask me.

A lot of my gym progress has been offset by the devil and the dark passenger over the last couple of weeks. While I rarely go over my 1250 calorie a day limit, I will sacrifice healthy snacks and meals in the wake of eating a less than healthy meal somewhere in the day. For instance, I have already skipped my morning snack for today, will have a limited lunch and dinner later as well to make sure I stay under my calorie cap for the day. Loading all your calories into one meal is not a recipe for losing weight, yet I have done it plenty of times in the last week or so.

I know with the right mindset I can fight off the devil, and even the dark passenger to some extent. I just need to get into the right frame of mind. Realize what I am doing at all times, take my bike more places than my car so I can't do the drive thru thing, take different routes so I don't drive past a BK or McDonalds when I have a craving. I know what I need to do. I just need to do it, and continue doing it. I need to exhibit one more trait of an addict, and take this all one meal at a time.

Simple Kind of Life

I don't have, by any stretch of the imagination, a very complicated or stressful life. My duties at work rarely follow me home, my home life is easy because my roommate and I are a perfect match in terms of living together, I don't have financial problems, relationship problems, or children to take care of. By normal definitions, my life is very simple.

Why is it then that I have this desire to simplify my life even more? I'm really not a nostalgic person, but why do I find myself reminiscing about days gone by and how much easier it all seemed then? Why do random memories, ranging from early childhood to just a couple of years ago, pop into my head here and there? Why do I have the need to reach out to those who used to be close to me, but have gone from my day-to-day life?

I know there are a lot of possible changes coming for me very soon, and I am very excited at what the future may hold in many different facets of my life....but these feelings of late have me perplexed.

Am I looking to have things simpler now because I know in a few months that things may be very hectic for quite a while? Am I just becoming more fond of my past than my present? Why do all of my questions lead to more questions instead of answers?

On one hand, I really wish I knew these answers....on the other hand, I think maybe I should just ignore this and be happy with how simple things really are.

Friday I'm in Love

I'm so glad this work week is finally coming to an end. My work hasn't been terribly hard this week or anything, but it's just been a LONG week. I'm pretty exhausted. Lately all I do is work, go directly to the gym from work, then take a nap, get up for another couple hours after my nap, then go back to sleep.

This week I don't know that I ever recovered from the fatigue of giving blood after spending a couple hours in the gym. When I sat down to start my donation process, my legs and arms were shaking and the nurse wondered aloud if I was lying about being "in good health" like I claimed to be. That was Tuesday, and even though I got in bed pretty much right after the gym every day since, I still didn't get much sleep those nights. I'm a tired boy now. While tomorrow won't exactly be a "sleep in" day since I have to pick up my family from the airport, sleeping past 4:00 is considered "sleeping in" for me nowadays. Wow....that sucks.

Anyway, just a few hours left before I can get a nap in before heading out for a night with a whole bunch of my friends. Hanging out tonight should help my overall blah mood from this week. Especially if the weather stays dry and I can get some two-wheel therapy tonight and tomorrow.

Morning Music 7-31-09

1. Half-Truism- The Offspring. "Your self-liberation Will leave this behind Beyond slings and arrows That rain on our minds You’ll make it better Shake it off It never mattered anyway"

2. I Need You- Leann Rimes. "You're the hope that moves me To courage again You're the love that rescues me When the cold winds, rage And it's so amazing 'Cause that's just how you are And I can't turn back now 'Cause you've brought me too far"

3. In Praise of the Vulnerable Man- Alanis Morrissette. "This is a thank you for letting me in....And I vow and I vow to be true And I vow and I vow to not take advantage"

4. Unglued- Stone Temple Pilots. "This confusion is my illusion Nowhere to look, but know where to find ya All these things I'm sick about, I'm sick about They always come unglued"

5. Devil Without a Cause- Kid Rock. "People claimin' that they know me, but they only know a portion"

6. Friday I'm in Love- The Cure. "Throwing out your frown And just smiling at the sound And as sleek as a sheik Spinning round and round Always take a big bite It's such a gorgeous sight"

7. Any Other Day- Wyclef and Norah Jones. "What, will, I, have, left (tell me tell me) (Somebody tell me now) When, this, hard, rain's, gone awayyy Today is, not like, any other DAYYYYYYY So I'm gone, I have to find, my own wayyyyyyyyyy (People, we gotta find another way!) Can, you, tell, me, how When, the, hard, rain's, gone (ah-ah-away)"

8. Ring of Fire- Johnny Cash. "Bound By Wild Desire I Fell Into A Ring Of Fire....The Taste Of Love Is Sweet When Hearts Like Ours Meet I Fell For You Like A Child Oh,But The Fire Went Wild"

9. Orphans- Jack's Mannequin. "I am looking for a sign My spirit's faded"

10. Machine- Regina Spektor. "And you live in the future And the future It's here, it's bright, it's now"

Gone Klepto

Supposedly, some people who suffer from Kleptomania don't even relize that they are stealing. I've also read that a lot of what Kleptomaniacs steal are small, inconsequential items. Pens, paper clips....stuff like that. Knowing this prompted me to briefly believe this morning that I may have had a Kleptomaniac episode over the weekend.

Saturday was pretty normal for me. I slept in a little, hit the gym, then headed out to do some grocery shopping at Meijer. I needed some other things too, so I was dragging myself around the store for a little while, making sure I hit every area of the store I might need something from.

Finally I am ready to hit the check out line, and notice there isn't much of a wait at all at the U-Scan machines. In a matter of minutes I'm scanning my stuff, loading it into two bags, and paying for everything. Grab my receipt and toss both bags in the top area of my cart and head out the door. On the way to my car, I do the right thing with my basket and put it into the corral before getting to my car. I lift my two bags out of the top of the basket and head out of there, pleased with how the day has been going.

Fast forward to this morning. 95% of what was in one of my bags ended up in my bathroom for daily use and the other 5% ended up in the closet just outside the bathroom because they were things I'd be using in the near future. Mouthwash, deoderant, toothpaste....this sort of stuff. Anyway, after I am showered up and have eaten breakfast, I get fully dressed and wander into the bathroom to do my hair and brush my teeth before I head out.

Once my hair is done and my mouth sufficiently rinsed with Listerine, I open a new tube of toothpaste and grab my toothbrush. But this is my old toothbrush, not the new toothbrush I picked up on Saturday. Now I don't swap out my toothbrush every 12 days like the ADA likes to tell you to, but I do change them pretty regularly. Once I am done with the old one, I toss it in the trash next to the sink and grab the new one out of the medicine cabinet. Which is exactly what I did this morning....well, except that my routine went out the window as soon as I opened my cabinet.

Strange. I didn't put my new toothbrush in the cabinet yet. OK, it must be in the closet with the extra toothpaste and deoderant I put in there Saturday. Nope. Hmmm, I wonder if I left it in the bag. Negative. No toothbrush in the bag, but the receipt was still there so I glanced at it. Not on the receipt either. WTF?

Then it all comes back to me. As I was picking things off the shelf in Meijer, I put almost everything in the top section of the cart. Even though I needed quite a few things, they were all pretty small and fit right in there. The one exception was the toothbrush. It was too narrow to lay in the top without falling through a crack into the bottom of the basket or onto the floor.

Since I didn't want to risk it dropping onto the floor, I put it in the bottom of the basket right away. And there it stayed throughout my shopping. And my check out. And even after I put the cart back in the corral. Yep, I unknowingly stole a toothbrush from Meijer. Then gave it right back when I put my cart away. I guess I am not a great thief.

I really had mixed feelings about this once I realized what happened. I don't think I've stolen anything from a store since I was about 5 and took too many pieces of Bazooka bubble gum for the amount of money I gave the clerk. A handful of nickels and dimes, a handful of gum, a clerk who definitely wasn't smarter than a 5 year-old me....it was the perfect crime. Until my mom found out.

You would have thought I stole the Hope Diamond with her reaction. Thankfully she stopped short of making me go back in there and confess to the clerk at the store, but that talk has stuck with me since. This is just another example of how lucky I was to get the parents I did. Sooner or later, no matter how they are brought up in the first place, most kids (especially boys) try stealing something. It can be a 5 cent piece of gum or something of much greater value. The principle is the same. Having a good parent handle the situation, though, makes all the difference in the world.

With my mother handling it the way she did, I never felt right even thinking about stealing anything after that....and that's the first thing that popped into my head when I realized what had happened. Not only had I stole something, but I stole something from my mother's employer. Nevermind that I didn't do it on purpose, or that I didn't even pack it into my things as I left the parking lot. Just the fact that I was careless enough to do that without even thinking bothered me enough.

Well, that and looking at my only toothbrush sitting in the trash without a replacement in the house.

Morning Music 7-23-09

I've noticed a couple things over the last few playlists. Love inspires a lot more songs on my iPod than I ever noticed and Mariah Carey may be batshit crazy....but that girl really can sing.

1. Hell Song- Sum 41. "Why do the things that matter the most Never end up being what we chose?"

2. Sorry- Buckcherry. "I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds, and baby the way you make my world go round"

3. Sober- Tool. "I am just a worthless liar. I am just an imbecile. I will only complicate you. Trust in me and fall as well."

4. Against All Odds- Mariah Carey. "Cause we've shared the laughter and the pain And even shared the tears You're the only one Who really knew me at all."

5. It's Still Rock and Roll to Me- Billy Joel. "There's a new band in town But you can't get the sound from a story in a magazine..."

6. Wanderlust- Flogging Molly. "Dark though it has been Your old spirit still shines within These last thirteen years depraved Of us anything that's worth sayin"

7. Take Me On the Floor- The Veronicas. "You captivate me, something about you has got me I was lonely now you make me feel alive Will you be mine tonight?....Take me on the floor I can't take it any more I want you, I want you, I want you to show me love Just take me on the floor I can give you more You kill me, you kill me, you kill me with your touch....My heart is racing as you're moving closer You take me higher with every breath I take Would it be wrong to stay? One look at you and I know what you're thinking Time's a bitch and my heart is sinking down You turn me inside out"

8. Before the Worst- The Script. "We were sitting with our backs against the world Saying things that we thought but never heard....There was a time, that we'd stay up all night Best friends talking till the daylight Took the joys alongside the pain With not much to loose, but so much to gain"

9. Everything's Magic- Angels and Airwaves. "So hear this please. And watch as your heart speeds up endlessly. And look for the stars as the sun goes down. Each breath that you take has a thunderous sound. Everything, everything's magic. Just sit back and hold on but hold on tight. Prepare for the best and the fastest ride. And reach out your hand and I'll make you mine. Everything, everything's magic."

10. Ruled by Secrecy- Muse. "Repress and restrain Steal the pressure and the pain Wash the blood off your hands"

Morning Music 7-21-09

I liked this so much yesterday, I'm trying it again. And I just gotta say, I never realized until this morning that I have 6 different songs titled "Love Song". Mind you, there are three versions of the same song in there, but still....

1. One Thing- Finger Eleven. "Between both these times I drew a really thin line It’s nothing I planned And not that I can But you should be mine Across that line....If I traded it all If I gave it all away for one thing Just for one thing If I sorted it out If I knew all about this one thing Wouldn’t that be something....Even though I know I don’t wanna know Yeah I guess I know I just hate how it sounds."

2. Make Damn Sure- Taking Back Sunday. "A long night spent with your most obvious weaknesses You start shaking at the thought You are everything I want 'Cause you are everything I'm not....And we lay, we lay together just not Too close, too close (How close is close enough?) We lay, we lay together just not Too close, too close"

3. Love Song- 311. "Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am home again Whenever I'm alone with you You make me feel like I am whole again....However far away I will always love you However long I stayI will always love you Whatever words I say I will always love you I will always love you"

4. Friends- Led Zeppelin. "Had a friend, she once told me You got love, you ain't lonely Now she's gone and left me only lookin' for what I knew"

5. Secret Spell- Tori Amos. "In one hand dreams a plenty, in her smile a secret spell. There have been disappointments, these she knows all too well... And you losing you was not a part of this plan"

6. Before the Lobotomy- Green Day. "Singing I can hear them singing When the rain had washed away All these scattered dreams"

7. Money- Pink Floyd. "Money it's a crime Share it fairly but don't take a slice of my pie Money so they say Is the root of all evil today But if you ask for a rise it's no surprise that they're giving none away"

8. Snow (Hey Oh)- Red Hot Chili Peppers. "When will I know that I really can't go To the well once more time to decide on When it's killing me, when will I really see All that I need to look inside"

9. Call Me When You're Sober- Evanescence. "How could I have burned paradise? How could I? you were never mine"

10. Love Song- Tesla. "Love is all around you, love is knockin' outside your door Waitin' for you is this love made just for two Keep an open heart and you'll find love again, I know"

Halfway There

After my binge eating weekend over the 4th of July, I began a very strict diet when I got home from up north. For a while now my weight has yo-yoed, and after the 4th I hit a very scary 245 lbs. On my 5' 10" frame, I shouldn't be much over 200, if at all. After plenty of consideration, I decided a goal weight of about 210 was good for my initial weight loss as I get back in shape.

This time around I am highly motivated, and the progress I have made in just 15 days is proof of that. I don't expect to lose 18 lbs every two weeks, but I am rather proud that I had the discipline to make it halfway to my initial goal so quickly.

I expect it will take approximately a month from here to hit my goal of 210, even with adding consistent gym visits to my diet now that I feel good enough to run again. My plan was to weigh in at or below 210 on the morning of September 19th, but now I think I can do that by August 19th, and at least by August 26th...which is very significant.

Over the last 15 days, I've allowed myself just 4 "cheat" meals. Well, I planned for two....the other two just happened when I didn't have enough will power to pass up a breakfast biscuit from McDonalds on the way to work. I might have to take a different route to work some days to make sure my autopilot doesn't take me through their drive through again.

With my other attempts at weight loss, I have tried to keep track of my progress here and have failed with the weight loss, so blogging about it fell to the wayside. This time around, I only plan to update twice; my halfway point (aka, this post here) and when I finally reach my goal. Hopefully that second post will come sooner rather than later, because I am more and more motivated for it every single day.

Morning Music: Changing the Rules

For a while now, I have been meaning to do something with the way I write about the songs I listen to in the morning to get myself moving. Since it's been damn near FOREVER since I posted about music, I figure now is as good of a time as any.

My change in very simple. I will still list the first ten songs I listen to on my iPod (usually a random shuffle) but the way I describe my thoughts about the song will be different. Instead of writing a small paragraph about the song, I will be quoting lyrics from the song.

There's no steadfast rule to how many lyrics I'll quote in one song, it could be just a few words....or a bunch of lines. I'll select the lyrics for a few different reasons. I'll quote what I think best describes the song's message, what I personally like best, what the song means to me, lyrics I think just sound cool together, something which remind me of something or someone, lyrics that really make me think, etc. It is up to you, dear reader, to determine which reason(s) I use for posting each lyric....if you so choose.

Or if you are lazy, you can just ask me.

Here are a couple playlists from last week that I will use to start this off:

Morning Music 7-14-09

1. You Could Be Mine- Guns n' Roses. "And you can take the pity so far, but it's more than I can stand"

2. You- Candlebox. "And I'll cry for you Yes, I'll die for you Pain in my heart it is real And I'll tell you now how I feel inside Feel in my heart it's for you And I'll take everything As it comes my way"

3. Sweet Emotion- Aerosmith. "You're calling my name but I gotta make clear, I can't say baby where I'll be in a year"

4. 21 Guns- Green Day. "When it's time to live and let die And you can't get another try Something inside this heart has died You're in ruins"

5. Dignity- Bob Dylan. "I went down where the vultures feed I would've got deeper, but there wasn't any need Heard the tongues of angels and the tongues of men Wasn't any difference to me"

6. 300 M.P.H. Torrential Outpour Blues- White Stripes. "Well, there's three people in the mirror And I'm wonderin' which one of them I should choose"

7. Wearing and Tearing- Led Zeppelin. "Now listen: You say your body's aching? I know that it's aching Chill bumps come up on you"

8. If I Ever Leave This World Alive- Flogging Molly. "The madness that you feel will soon subside So in a word don't shed a tear I'll be here when it all gets weird"

9. Miles Away/The Truth Is- Depeche Mode. "Your face seems so familiar And longing for more Your eyes they tell me something That I understand Your eyes they hold the truth"

10. You Are Goodbye- Holly Conlan. "Cause tomorrow and today Are only here so long When there's nothing left to say I hear that life moves on"

Morning Music 7-15-09

1. Notion- Kings of Leon. "I just wanted to know if i could go home"

2. Head Over Feet- Alanis Morrisette. "Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole You're so much braver than I gave you credit for"

3. Boys Don't Cry- The Cure. "I tried to laugh about it, Cover it all up with lies. I tried to laugh about it, Hiding the tears in my eyes. Cause boys don't cry."

4. I will Follow You into the Dark- Death Cab for Cutie. "If there's no one beside you when your soul embarks Then I'll follow you into the dark"

5. Blue and Yellow- The Used. "By the way, your hands were shaking, Rather waste some time with you. And you never would have thought in the end, How amazing it feels just to live again"

6. If- Red Hot Chili Peppers. "And if I saw the sun fall down I'd pick it up and make a crown One that was a perfect fit for you."

7. Whistles the Wind- Flogging Molly. "My isolation, now there's a sobering thought A minute alone, a lifetime too long See the face in this mirror, so pale it could crack Desperately wanting a color it lacks"

8. Krazy- Pitbull. "Latinas they get Krazy....Blanquitas they get Krazy....Negritas they get Krazy....Yo Mama she gets Krazy"

9. Jesus- Brand New. "my bright is too slight to hold back all my dark"

10. Landlocked Blues- Bright Eyes. "So I'm up at dawn, putting on my shoes I just want to make a clean escape I'm leaving but I don't know where to"

Back in the Day

My afternoon started off innocently enough. I started doing a few things online, then after a while found my way over to some streaming audio. While there, I listened to some mid/late 90s rock songs and had some memories associated with those songs pop into my head for the first time in years. I smiled at some, laughed at one, cringed at another, and eventually became overwhelmed by nostalgia.

For the most part, I am not a nostalgic person. I learned a long time ago to accept that the past is in the past, and there's nothing I can do to go back and change it or even relive it. I will often revisit things in my memory, the good, the bad, AND the ugly, and crack a silly little crooked smile thinking about whatever it was that I/we had done. It's nice to look back on your life events and get a smile or two.

Often my thoughts about the past revolve around people or pets who aren't around anymore. Whether they have died or just moved far enough away to seem dead or just someone that I grew apart from. This time, that didn't apply at all. I was nostalgic for a feeling. I didn't feel young yesterday, and missed what it felt like to be in my late teens or early twenties.

It's a very important time in anyone's development, because of just how many life lessons you learn in those few years. I mean, most of the time before that is spent focusing on how to get you there, but not on what to do once you get there. You have tons of questions, and a bunch of friends who don't know the answers either to help you explore those questions, and maybe even some of the answers too.

Thinking about it though, I'm not sure that I would choose to go back to that time now even if I could. I know there are quite a few things that I would do differently, and my life would be drastically different than it is today. There would be a few improvements I am sure, but who knows how that would effect the people (or pets) currently in my life? What makes my life worth living is the people around me and my dogs. I'd never get over making a decision differently if the consequence meant someone important to me would drift away.

Things in life, at least so far for me, seem to happen in a strange way, and often at times I least expect. You never know what life is going to throw at you, and what that will, in turn, lead you to. A long, strange, set events that were both very sad and expensive eventually led to Guinness coming into my life. While the months before the day I met Guinness, only a handful of hours before he was to be put to sleep, were pure mental anguish, the years that followed have been enhanced by his presence in a way that very few people could ever know or understand. I rescued him from the gas chamber, and my boy has been rescuing me on a daily basis ever since.

Some great friends have come into my life purely by chance as well. It's funny to compare life stories now and "I was there TOO" moments with the friends that I just happened to come across after years of crossing paths with but never meeting. The right place and right time finally presented itself though, and the rest is history.

Knowing that these vital aspects of my life could be affected by me doing anything different would weigh too heavily on my mind for me to even be able to feel the same way I did back then. So any thoughts of "going back" wouldn't really get any consideration from me anyway if it were a possibility.

I guess I am just going to have to keep reliving my youth one snippet of memory at a time, and reflect on how great today is because of all those fleeting moments long ago.

Mood Music

It's no secret that music can effect my mood. Wow has that statement ever been true today. Since I woke up at 4, my mood has just been looking for a reason to change....and change it has, like every 20 minutes.

Throughout the day, and actually this has applied to the whole week, my mood has been bouncing all over the place. Tonight iTunes has a lot to do with it. There were a few things I wanted to get done online tonight, since I slept through the entire afternoon again, and while I was doing them, I had iTunes on shuffle.

I began to get distracted. Certain songs would lead me to certain places online, and nothing I intended to do was getting done. I guess it's a blessing in disguise in one way, since I am finally getting another blog post up, but it's tough on me when I feel this A.D.D.

I'm sure my lack of concentration is apparent in this post as well, but I guess I just had to get this thought out of my head on down "on paper". While one of my Facebook friends commented tonight that Facebook is like free therapy, and I kind of agree, I think this little corner of the internet I reside in is much better....even if it's just some disjointed rambling about music affecting my mood.
COME AND OPEN UP YOUR FOLDING CHAIR NEXT TO ME
Now with this realization firmly in my grasp, I will try to get some sleep and let Regina sing me a lullaby or two once I get in bed. I always seem to sleep better with her.
MY FEET ARE BURIED IN THE SAND AND THERE'S A BREEZE

Taking Off

I have been looking forward to this long weekend for a while now. I had a great time up north over Memorial Weekend, and this one looks to be even better. The weather is going to be Max friendly (and more importantly Guinness friendly) and I should be able to beat a lot of the traffic today since I get off work so early. Hopefully I will be unpacking just as rush hour starts.

One of the best things about being up north is the lack of communication when I am up there. 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365.25 days a year I have my phone on me, and turned on. If it rings, I answer. Service in the cabin is spotty at best, and when we are on the lake I don't get any service at all. It's a little easier to relax when you know the phone won't ring.

The flip side of that is that I won't have any internet service the whole weekend....then again, is that all that bad either? Unplugging every now and again is somewhat therapeutic. My time up there will be well spent, even if I don't do a damn thing the whole time.

Random Survey

Last night I took some Motrin before going to bed to help me sleep with this pulled neck muscle, which is getting better....but still not completely healed. I thought I had eaten recently enough for it to not bother my stomach, but I was wrong.

I pulled myself out of bed 19 minutes after 11 and jumped in my truck, figuring an Oreo shake from BK would do the trick. 20 minutes, and TWO BKs later, I sat down to eat and watch the end of the Tiger game. They were playing in Oakland, so I knew they'd be on til about 1am.

To entertain myself as I ate and watched the bullpen struggle to put away the A's, I was bouncing around the web on my laptop, where I came across this survey and decided to fill it out. Since I don't post these things on Facebook or Myspace (does Myspace even exist anymore?), I figured I would post it here.

1) What is your boyfriend/girlfriends name? While I am currently off the market, I don't have a significant other. It just doesn't make sense for me to date right now.

2) What color underwear/boxers wearing now? Navy

3) What are you listening to right now? Amazing by Kanye. I blame the NBA Playoff commercials for this.

4) Whats your favorite number? 56

5) What was the last thing you ate? 19g of dry Cheerios. 70 calories to start my day off.

6) When was the last time you smiled? When I opened my e-mail this morning.

7) How is the weather right now? Overcast and seasonably cool.

8) Who was the last person you talked to on the phone? My mommy.

9) What is your worst habit? Procrastinating

11) Do you drink? Rarely

12) Do you smoke? That's even rarer.

13) When was the last time, if ever, blacked-out from drinking? December 2006 in Vegas.

14) Hair color? Light brown

15) Eye Color? Light brown

16) Do you wear contacts? No

17) Favorite Holiday? Halloween. I can dress and act inappropriately, girls costumes get smaller and smaller every year, and its less than a week before my birthday.

18) Favorite Month? April. It usually when I can start looking forward to riding on a somewhat consistent basis.

19) Have you ever cried for no reason? Not that I can recall.

20) What was the last movie you watched? I watched Star Wars Episode II last night on TV, but the last movie I went out to see was The Hangover this past Saturday. Very good movie. I was completely uninterested in it when I saw the trailer for it, but heard enough good reviews to go see it. I am glad I did.

21) Favorite Day of the Year? Well, it's not the same day each year....but it's for the same reason. This year it will be October 8th. I'll be flying to Vegas that morning.

22) Are you too shy to ask someone out? I don't think I have ever had a problem with this.

23) Last advice you received? "ALWAYS take ALL meds with food or milk." Not a bad idea really.

24) What was the highlight of your weekend? My Sunday ride with Cory and Tish. We put about 150 miles on the bikes, and in the middle of it we got to have dinner with my parents at Zukey Lake Tavern.

25) Chocolate or Vanilla? It depends, but usually Vanilla....covered in chocolate, well hot fudge really. Mmmm.

26) What is the last text message you received? Not sure, I erase them very frequently....and the last one I have saved is definitely not to be shared. My eyes only. :-)

27) What is the last text message you sent? "Join the coven....lol." Instead of join the club....see what I did there? In response to someone talking about being part vampire lately since they don't sleep at night.

28) Who was the last person to call you? My mommy, after two calls to her went unanswered yesterday afternoon when I wanted to let her know that the drive-by near my house didn't affect me at all....and that I wasn't the dead body found in a Grand Cherokee in Detroit either.

29) What books are you reading? None at the moment, but would love some suggestions. I will need something for the weekend up north, and if I don't get some good suggestions I will just reread The Odyssey. I got the idea after talking to Mark yesterday about "the classics" and how many are overrated, but I still have my favorites....like The Odyssey.

30) When was the last time you slept in someone else's bed? I've slept on beds or couches that aren't mine recently, but I don't remember the last time I slept in someone else's bed. Wow, I should probably remedy that.

31) Favorite movie? Fight Club

32) Favorite football team? Washington Redskins....despite the name being so insensitive to Natives.

NOTHING TO SEE HERE....HONESTLY

33) What were you doing before this? Preparing my spreadsheets for the day....FUN.

34. Any pets? Two wonderful dogs.

36) Butter, Plain or Salted popcorn? Butter and salt, but I need to cut all of that out anyway.

37) Dogs or cats? Dogs....but we can keep a few cats around for my dogs to "play" with.

38) Favorite flowers? I like the look of roses, but I LOVE the smell of lilac.

39) When was the last time you got in trouble? I'm too boring to get into trouble anymore.

41) Have you ever loved someone? Without a doubt.

42) Who would you like to see right now? I've got someone in mind....

43) Are you still friends with people from kindergarten ? I wouldn't classify Jeff as a "friend" anymore since I only see him once every few years, but if I saw him more often we would still be good friends I am sure.

44) Have you ever fired a gun? Yes, but not recently enough. I need to get back to the range.

45) Do you like to travel by plane? Yes, it's SO much easier....assuming the trip wouldn't be drivable in 4 hours or less. If that's the case, I'd rather be behind the wheel....or handlebars if the weather is nice.

46) What website do you frequently visit? CNN.com probably gets most of my pageloads.

47) If you could be with someone right now, who would it be? I already answered this as vaguely as possible before....see number 42.

48) How many pillows do you sleep with? Three on the bed, only one under my head.

49) Are you missing someone? I usually am.

50) Do you have a Tattoo? Not yet, but I have a feeling if I ever get one....I'll end up with at least 4.

51) Are there people on your myspace page that you would date or go on a date with? I have no clue....myspace is dead to me nowadays. Now if I applied this to Facebook? Definitely.

SONUVA....

What wonderful weekend weather we witnessed.

After sweating it out the second half of last week, we were graced with a nearly perfect weekend in terms of weather. Nice weather + a couple days off = time on the bike. I didn't put as many miles on the X this weekend as I had the previous couple of weekends, nor did I hit any small town festivals like last weekend, but I did tally about 250 miles over Saturday and Sunday.

So there's the good. Here's the bad; I pulled a muscle in my neck on our ride back from Zukey Lake Tavern last night. Hit a bump I wasn't expecting to be too bad on North Territorial, and my head went a little too far to the right. It hurt at first, but not too bad. It was sore later, but not too bad. When I went to sleep, it wasn't too bad. When I woke up, it was too bad. I can't turn my head to the right or even keep it level without it hurting. I've been tilting to the left for a little while now, and I am just about sick of it.

OK, enough complaining.

The ride we took was really cool. Cory mapped out a course that included a couple road I had never been on, whether with my bike or a car, and they turned out to be great for riding. I always like to try new roads on the bike, and it's so much better when they turn out the way it did yesterday. I'll definitely find my way out there again soon. Anyone feel like jumping on and taking a nice scenic ride with me?

Looks like I won't be able to ride most of this week, if the forecasts are accurate. It's supposed to rain until Thursday night....and I should be up north for the 4th by that time. The weather forecast for the weekend look great for riding, but I will take an extended weekend with my dogs and my dad over a ride whenever I can.

So I guess I should say something about Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and Billy Mays all dying since my last post.

Reunited With My X

Until the past couple weekends, it had been an awful long time since I got to spend any quality time with my X. After a few months of price shopping for the rear tire I wanted, I finally found a deal and bought one. Since I don't mount and balance my own tires, I generally pop the wheel off the bike and take it and the new tire up to Rosenau to have them do that for me.

After a little improvisation to get my X on the bike jack, the frame sits a little lower than the jack will go, I started to take the rear wheel off....until I ran into a space problem. I had the correct size socket for my rear axle, but the socket won't fit between the pipes and the wheel, so I needed a wrench. Drove to Murray's. Nope. Looked online at other places, nope. Found some on Sears website, $60 was the cheapest one I saw....gave up. Long story short, I put some air in the old back tire and just rode it up to Rosenau and paid the extra money to have it all done.

This was the Friday before last, and at the end of my ride on Sunday I had put over 700 miles on my new tire....in just ten days. And four of those days I was unable to ride because of weather or work, so I averaged more than 100 miles for each day I rode the X.

The day I get her back on the road, the Friday before last, was the same day we lost game Seven to Pittsburgh. After that debacle, I took her out for a night ride. Not too far, but I got to spend some quality time with my favorite girl, so that's always nice.

The next day called for rain most of the day, but the rain never came. I finally took her out for another night ride when I went out to Novi to meet up with everyone at Mbargo for Pam's 30th.

Sunday I took a ride out to Hell, MI with Cory & Tish and a bunch of other Harley riders. Even with a little joking about my metric cruiser from Cory as we started the ride at Cheli's, my X fit in nicely, and even out performed Cory's "bulletproof" Harley a few times when we all hit the gas. It was funny to see his head whip over to me as I pulled away from him when he had his throttle all the way open. :-)

I had a blast on the ride out there, and took pics of some cool bikes while we were at the rally, but hanging out with a bunch of cops only reminded me of the poor shape I am in, and how far I have to go in such little time. I guess it's good to have more motivation, but it was an unwelcome reminder that afternoon.

Jumping ahead to this past weekend, Friday night was a washout with all the rain and flooding we got in the area, but Saturday was gorgeous and most of the roads were dry in time for me to ride all the way to Coldwater, MI to check out their Strawberry festival. Honestly, I didn't see all that many strawberries out there, but had a great strawberry/banana smoothie and checked out some cool booths in the festival area.

I should have saved the ride to Coldwater for Sunday, but I wasn't sure how long I'd be in Howell with my dad for Father's Day. Spending approximately 7 hours on my bike before riding to Kelley and Justin's house for their party. I was already tired when I got there, and wasn't quite my outgoing self throughout the night. Although, I am sure Michelle would beg to differ.

Sunday was Father's day, another day of riding, and another small city festival. I met my parents in downtown Howell where they were waiting for me since my ride was about twice as long as normal because of construction. They weren't upset at all though, since my father won $150 on Keno while they waited.

After walking around the festival we went back to their house. They were about to leave for up north so I chatted with them while they packed, and with Jen for a little while when she stopped by with her girls to say hi. After my short visit, I took the long way home and explored a few unfamiliar roads along the way. I finally made my way to the video store, to see if I could get my hands on something I really want. Mmm, rawr! (smirk)

I went into Video Exclusive to see if they had the second season of Mad Men on DVD yet, but was disappointed to see only season one on the shelf. I turned to walk out of the store, and when I did I saw that the first season of True Blood was on the shelf. I had heard a few good things about it, so I decided to give it a try. So far so good, but I am only a couple episodes into it. I am sure I will talk about it here later.

I had also planned to post my morning playlist from today, but I think I've said enough already....I mean, if I am getting bored with writing this post, I can just imagine what it must be like reading it.

Gone Ridin'

Trekking across lower central Michigan today. Hitting a couple town festivals/fairs, then back home to get ready for Kelley and Justin's party.

Mr. iPod's Clean Slate

For quite a while now, I have been looking at the "play count" column on iTunes and doing a little thinking. First thought, have I ever cleared my play count? Second thought, I wonder what my play count would look like for certain songs over a certain period of time. I'm definitely a stat guy, and would surely find it interesting to see the patterns in my listening habits.

So I decided, on a whim, to clear the play count for all my songs and start over again this past Saturday with my drive out to Kalamazoo. Before I did my complete reset, I noted my top 25 most played songs. Some of the numbers here surprised me, as did the placement of a few songs, and the absence of others.

Just posting these songs is going to take long enough, so no more rambling. Here they are in reverse order, with the play count in parenthesis.

25. Drunken Lullabies- Flogging Molly (28). I was surprised at the low play count here. I know I have heard this song a lot more than this....but I have about 7 copies of this CD laying around, so that could explain it. I think everyone already knows how much I love this band, but I have to say that I will do all in my power to see them perform at least once a year as long as they are touring. This year, the Detroit date wouldn't work for us....FINE, we'll go see them in Cleveland. Although the show itself was not one of my favorites, the time we had down there was well worth the cost of the trip. The phone calls after the show alone were worth the price of admission.

24. The Dirty Glass- Dropkick Murphy's (28). While I think Flogging Molly is by far a superior band, these guys have some great songs too. This is one of my favorites. The pace of the song and the back and forth with the girl who sings on this really makes the song.

23. Teenagers- My Chemical Romance (29). The Black Parade was a very good album, and this song was my favorite for quite a while. It also came out just before the shooting at Virginia Tech a couple years ago, so I played it a few times for people just to listen to the eerie foreshadowing that I got out of it.

22. Viva la Vida- Coldplay (30). I just loved this song from the start. I have since learned to appreciate a few other songs from the CD, which is how it seems to go with me and Coldplay albums....get sucked in by one song, learn to like the rest. I know that this song played twice during Marktoberfest last year, and I can remember both times. I honestly couldn't pinpoint any other song that whole night....this song alone was pretty much my soundtrack for the party.

21. Everything's Magic- Angels and Airwaves (30). Honestly, who wouldn't like this song? I think this was the last AVA song that got any real airtime, but I have both of their CDs so I really have no idea. I know this was the first song I liked a lot from the second album, I-Empire, but not the one I ended up liking the most.

20. A Call to Arms- Angels and Airwaives (32). This song ended up being my favorite from I-Empire. The lyrics, and the way they are sung, really struck a chord within me. I can't say exactly what it is about this song that gets me, but it does. The lyrics for most of their songs are just fantastic, and this happens to be the one that I like to listen to the most right now. Since this is the last time AVA appears on this list, I know I must have cleared my iPod playcount at some point, because I played the hell out of their first album, We Don't Need to Whisper, and not one of those songs is on here.

19. The Good Left Undone- Rise Against (33). The amazing thing about this song is how "young" it is in my library. I've had it maybe 6 months or so, where all the other songs on this list I have had at least a year, and most more than two years. This is definitely the most played song for me in 2009. So many songs have parts that I really take to heart, some songs even go the distance with lyrics that I can relate to. This song is one of those songs, and not just for the lyrics (which are scary accurate for me in one regard) but also for the passion with which it is sung. If I could have written and sung any song in the last 5 years, this one would probably be it.

18. Supermassive Black Hole- Muse (33). Get used to seeing this band. With a solid 16% of my top 25 coming from Black Holes and Revelations, I'll be typing the name Muse a lot. The band is aptly named, as I can think of many things that have spawned from their music, including the Twilight series. A lot of what I hear on this CD can be easily personalized for me, and I am sure that's why I love it the way I do.

17. God's Gonna Cut You Down- Johnny Cash (34). Unbelievably, this is the only song from J.R. Cash on this list. I supposed the rest of them have been in my CD collection longer than I have had my iPod, so that kinda makes sense. A deeply religious man, this song just made sense for Johnny Cash. Even though his voice was considerably weaker when he recorded this than with any of his other big songs, it seems rather fitting when you listen to it.

16. Snuff on Digital- Blaqk Audio (35). Ended up being my favorite song on CexCells, even though I was sucked in by Stiff Kittens like most anyone else who knows this band by name. Their sound is unique and refreshing, very much how I would describe Muse as well, and I appreciate how the songs lift my energy level.

15. Welcome to the Black Parade- My Chemical Romance (36). Not too much to say here. The lyrics don't have any hidden meaning to me or anything, I just really like the way this song was made.

14. Stiff Kittens- Blaqk Audio (37). As I said, this is what got me interested in the band and I bought this CD on a whim on the strength of this song alone. I think it was a great purchase. I have made some bad decisions on similar whims, and am very happy this one worked out.

13. Riot- Wyclef with Serj Tankian (39). My man-crush on Wyclef hit an all time high when The Carnival II was announced and came out, and this being the first song on the album it's just natural that I dug it. Beyond that, it's a really good song. I honestly never would have thought these two would sound good together, but that's why he is Wyclef, and I am not.

12. Baba O'Riley- The Who (40). Better known to most as "Teenage Wasteland", this has always been one of my favorite songs. Even though it's pretty long, I can't turn it off if it comes on my iPod during a shuffle....even if I have to sit in my truck in my driveway to finish listening to it.

11. What a Wonderful World- Joey Ramone (40). Yet another song I have always loved....but this version has renewed my interest in it in the last couple years.

10. Take a Bow- Muse (41). Ahh, the beginning of Black Holes and Revelations. This song is so good, that I decided to see Watchmen because they used it in a trailer for the movie. I still haven't seen it yet, but that's a pretty good song nonetheless, eh?

9. Starlight- Muse (41). It's no shock that these two songs have the exact same playcount since this follows Take a Bow on the album. To me, I can't play one without the other. It's like one long song with Take a Bow leading into Starlight. If one comes up on random, I have to listen to them both in the correct order.

8. Sweetest Girl- Wyclef (42). Another song from Clef. This isn't my favorite off the album, but it's just so easy to listen to....and sing along with as I drive. That's gotta be funny to see.

7. Paralyzer- Finger 11 (42). This song makes me want to kick a door down. Not sure why, but it does. I've never kicked a door down....so it's even more confusing. Punched through a door, yes, but never kicked.

6. I'm Shipping Up to Boston- Dropkick Murphys (42). I wouldn't like this song as much as I do without the movie The Departed....and I haven't really liked it that much recently anyway. Boston is just getting on my nerves lately. I cringe every time they win a major sports championship because I know I have to deal with their fans who just all sound so ignorant. Ugh.

5. Slither- Velvet Revolver (43). Absolutely LOVE this song. Quite possibly the best rock song made in the last 5 years. Just listen to it.

4. A-Punk- Vampire Weekend (43). This is a good song, was used in a few commercials not too long ago, but the reason it's so high on my list is NOT the quality of the song. It's the name. With the A followed by a dash, it's the first song on my iTunes songlist when sorted by title. If I start listening to my songlist without having it on shuffle, this is the song I hear. It took me a long time to be able to turn it off when that happens

3. Shadow of the Day- Linkin Park (44). I liked this song a lot when it first came out, but it has recently taken on a new meaning for me....so I have been listening to it a lot again.

2. Bleed it Out- Linkin Park (48). This song doesn't make me want to kick a door down, but it does get my adrenaline pumping. If I still played any sports, this would definitely be on my pregame playlist, somewhere around Thunderstruck and One from Metallica.

1. Map of the Problematique- Muse (62). Obviously I really like Black Holes and Revelations. Funny enough though, this was not my favorite song on the album for a long time. I listened to the album from the start every time I turned it on, and this was one of the songs early in the album....but I never really thought it was that great. Then I saw a youtube video that changed it all for me. The video below originally had this song as the background. Without the song, it's a very cool video, with the song, it was soooo much better. After I saw this video with this song, I was hooked. I am a thrill seeker by nature, and this just gets my blood pumping now. I feel alive when I hear it....and, I've decided, I like feeling alive.

Back to the Grind

Another Monday after struggling to sleep through Sunday night. Just about every Monday I think about one of the parts in Bill Cosby: Himself. The part where he talks about everyone's enthusiasm as they get out of work on Friday, only to show up for work Monday morning looking like they spent their days off trying to kill themselves always seems to pop into my head when I walk in on Monday morning. I know I look terrible, but honestly....my weekends are VERY pedestrian compared to a lot of people.

I realize that I used to post my weight here every Monday as I started my gradual weight loss program. Somewhere in there the battery for my scale died, and I had to rely on the lying scale at the gym for a while, and that was not going to work here since it was always about 5-6 lbs too heavy.

Current weight: 239.5 lbs

I had actually done pretty well in the month or so leading up to Memorial Day. I had lost 12 lbs before I went up north that weekend, and even though I did my scheduled running over the weekend....I gained 8 lbs of it back. I have pretty much taken the last two weeks since Memorial day off, setting me back even further. I just have not had the motivation to work out, and need to get back in the gym tonight. The diet part is easy now as the only meal I could possibly mess up this week will be dinner, and on the nights I go to the gym, I will never splurge. I just can't see spending all that time in the gym, then piling on even more calories than I just burned.

Even with my relapse and my long weekend of terrible eating, I am still down 5 lbs from my starting weight, meaning that I have actually lost 1 lb since Memorial Day without even trying....hmm, maybe I'm getting my metabolism back into shape. I'm glad I have that to build on still.

So sports in Detroit just about sucked during the week last week. No wins in Pittsburgh for the Wings, and the Tigers got swept by Boston. The Lions are practicing their heart-breaking ways at their OTAs, and the Pistons were bounced from the playoffs in the first round for the first time since 1847. YES, IT'S PRIME

The weekend brought better fortune for the Tigers, and Pavel Datsyuk back to the Wings. Wow, what a game Saturday. I thought we'd take it to them, but I wasn't expecting 5-0. Mmmm, Penguin tastes good late on a weekend night. Can't wait til I get some more. MMM, RAWR!

Morning Music 6-08-09

My random playlist for the day started before I even backed out of my driveway today. I had left the radio station on NPR, which wasn't NPR in K'Zoo where I had last used my tuner, so I flipped though my presets and the first song I heard was on 93.9.

1. Fix You- Coldplay. Not even in gear yet, and irony hits me square in the jaw. This whole weekend revolved around music, this song fits perfectly into one of the subsets from last night.

2. Suicide Blonde- Jack's Mannequin. This was the first song that caught my attention on The Glass Passenger, but I've actually grown kind of tired of it.

3. Mountain- Good Charlotte. This song, as a matter of fact this whole CD, was rather good....BUT, following The Young and the Hopeless was tough. That was one of the best CDs in the last ten years, and quite possibly my favorite in the same time period.

4. Requiem for a Dying Song- Flogging Molly. Definitely not my favorite song off of Float, but what FM songs do I not really enjoy?

5. Don't Let Me Die Still Wondering- Flogging Molly. Back to back Flogging Molly, but one upbeat song and one ballad. Just the name of this song can make you think. Listening to it reinforces much of the way I feel about honesty. It's not ALWAYS the best policy, sometimes you need to bend the truth a little to keep an even keel, but with those closest to you....there's no reason to hide. Don't leave them wondering.

6. P.I.MP.- 50 Cent. I don't know what you heard about me....

7. Give- Tori Amos. I had heard this song off her new CD only once before this, and honestly wasn't paying attention to it then....it got my full attention today. Interesting lyrics, like you come to expect from Tori, and it sounds more like a mash-up of Garbage and Evanescence than a Tori Amos song. I'll listen to it again soon I am sure.

8. Eminence Front- The Who. "It wasn't often you heard a Who track with Townshend on the vocals, but when he stepped up, you knew he was gonna blow you away. The greatest band to come out of west London no questions asked, no quarter given. Turn it up, people" -Tommy "The Nightmare" Smith.

LOL

9. Looking Through Patient Eyes- PM Dawn. Wow, I hadn't listened to this song in a long time....until last night, when I listened to it twice. I guess Mr iPod likes it.

10. In Between- Linkin Park. Definitely not my favorite song off of Minutes to Midnight, but I do like it. Lots of good stuff on that album.

Musical Weekend

A lot of this weekend has really revolved around music....or was it the other way around? No matter, I have a lot of thoughts running through my head at the moment, but there was one in particular I didn't want to let get away: Roxette.
HOLD ON TIGHT, YOU KNOW SHE'S A LITTLE BIT DANGEROUS
This band was so much more popular than I ever remembered, or can believe really. What a sad time for music. This disappointment is much like when I realized exactly how large of a role the Bare Naked Ladies played in the soundtrack of my life. BNL, Dave Matthews, and now Roxette. It's a good thing I am in a great mood this afternoon, cause that alone is enough to make someone depressed. WHAT IN THE WORLD COULD MAKE A BROWN EYED GIRL TURN BLUE?

Wings/Pens Game 4 Live BLog

Second Period:

Starting this a little late (about 5 minutes into the second) but I figured it would be a good idea to try this and see how it works out for me.

Wings took a 2-1 lead early in the second on a sweet shot from Brad Stuart, and that's where we stand with 15:00 left in the second.

Malkin slashed Ericsson and takes him down with a stick between the legs. 2 min for hooking at 5:44.

Wings ice the puck 15 seconds into the PP...pretty sweet.

2 seconds of a 5-on-3 coming up as Orpik is heading to the box for tripping.

Whew! Malkin gets a shorthanded breakaway, Osgood stops it.

Spoke too soon.....Staal takes the puck from his own blue line past Rafalski and Osgood.

Power play over, and unsuccessful. Halfway through 2nd.

Another give away, another Pittsburgh goal. Down 3-2 now and we have to call our time out to catch our collective breath.

What a difference a few minutes makes. This arena was silent a just ten minutes ago, now it's nuts there.

Since I have started this live blog, we are 0-2 on the power play, and have given up two goals....thankfully I am not superstitious.

Make that three goals....Osgood is getting peppered here because of stupid turnovers. We are getting our asses handed to us, just after taking control of the game.

4 min left, Pens outshooting us 10-7 in this period.

3:25 left, another stoppage. Face off to come in Pens zone. A goal here before the period is over would be really nice.

No such luck...back to center ice with 2:45 left.

Last minute of play....Wings still looking like a bunch of Junior players out here.

How fitting....Malking takes another Detroit turnover all the way to Osgood on a breakaway to end the period. Thankfully he had to rush the shot and Ozzy made the easy save.

Second Intermission:

CBC guys are just as shocked as us, and talking about the mental mistakes the Wings are making.

Canadian commercials are pretty special...unfortunately haven't seen any of the cool Viagra commercials yet.

Third Period:

5 minutes in, we are playing better...but another turnover leads to a scoring chance for the Pens.

9 minutes in, playing well still....but it's not hard to play defense when you have a two goal lead....Pittsburgh looks a lot like the Wings normally do at this point in a game.

11 min in, good pressure, a couple quality chances....no goals.

Starting to yawn. Getting a headache. We need to do something soon, or I am going to be in bed before the final horn blows.

5 min left....Wings gain the zone, turn it over, rinse, repeat....

Game over. Series knotted up. Game five is Saturday in Detroit. We need to play a lot better to hold serve at home.

June?

Hard to believe that it's already June. It seems like only yesterday I was on the Las Vegas strip with Millennium Man ringing in the New Year for 2000, now in just seven months we will be ushering in 2010.

Anyway, not much time today....so no in-depth philosophical mumbo-jumbo, just the facts.

There are a few things I am looking forward to this month, one of them being the end of my spring semester. It's really starting to wear on me, and I can't wait to get it over with. There are a couple events with friends that I can't wait for. This Saturday a few of us are going to Kalamazoo for the night to hang out at in the pub at Bell's Brewery. I think it's going to be a great time, but part of what I was looking forward to was the trip out there. Now that the weather forecast calls for some rain on both Saturday and Sunday, it looks like taking a bike out there isn't really an option.

Next week, the friend I went to NIN/JA with is having a little birthday BBQ. Hoping the weather will be nice that day, so I can ride out there too. Speaking of the NIN/JA show we went to on Sunday, it was a good time and the perfect way to rock out the end of May. In a future post, I will post a pic or two that she took.

The following week, I have another BBQ party for a friend's birthday....but I know this one will have better food, just because it's Justin's bday and he'll make sure all his fat friends are satisfied. Another reason to look forward to this party is the fact that I can turn it into an overnight affair if I want. I have a garage to keep my bike in for the night, and always plenty of floor space at the Kabbage/Juice household.

The last weekend in June is still open, and I thought about maybe going up north....but I will probably just wait until the 4th of July to do that. It will be my first weekend out school this year, and I am sure I will need to do something to exercise my freedom....then again, if each weekend until then is already busy, is school really limiting my freedom in the first place?

Time has run out on me again, and I must end this post a little abruptly.