One thing I've always prided myself on is the fact that I am always accountable for my actions. Spill something, clean it up. Do something wrong at school or work, admit to it and work to fix the mistake. It's really easy to admit your mistakes when you keep in mind that the best way to really learn something is to attempt it and fail. No one steps out of the womb walking and talking perfectly. It takes years to perfect those things, and along the way we all failed hundreds or thousands of times.
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Admitting the failure is only part of the process, though. As I mentioned above, you have to work to fix whatever the mistake was when you want to move on. This is the part I have always had a problem with when it comes to losing weight. I'll take credit and feel good about anything I do to make progress, like the first week of this year, but I always have a reason behind my failures....or I just don't care enough about them. It's very rare that I am unhappy enough about my weight, and all the issues it causes, that I will actually do something about it. And almost all of those end prematurely for one reason or another.
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I'm writing this now because I can feel myself on the road to Eff-It-Ville, but I am calling myself out to be accountable for my direction. I'm the one with the steering wheel. The road conditions my be downright shitty at the moment, but I can still make it to my destination....as long as I travel in the right direction. I'm admittedly a stress/emotional eater, and I have a lot of both in my life at this very moment. No matter what I do in the short term, or why I am doing it, I am still holding myself accountable for my direction. A little blip here and there is completely acceptable. A complete change in course is not.
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Metaphorically speaking, I'm pulling off at a rest stop right now to have a cigarette and calm the eff down before getting back into shitty traffic. Once this little break is over, my eyes and mind need to stay on the road. It's a long journey, and I'm going to need all my faculties to get there. And I will get there....because there is no one else accountable for this. Just me.
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