Jumble-aya

As I begin this post, I see my morning playlist post from yesterday in my drafts. I didn't have the time to finish it yesterday, and don't have my song list from yesterday in front of me. I'll finish it today or tomorrow I am sure, but when I do it will be posted with yesterday's day and time. It'll throw the last few posts of April out of sequence in a way, but it'll still be chronological.1
1

Speaking of the end of April, May will bring us another round of playoff hockey featuring the Red Wings, the Tigers getting deep into their season, the Pistons having the month of May off for the first time in like 7 years, and a lot of movies I am excited to see.

2

May will kick off with the new X-Men movie. I have been eagerly anticipating it since I heard about it, a lot later than everyone else I guess, a few months ago. I think it was actually Super Bowl Sunday. I have done a pretty good job avoiding the previews or finding out any info about the movie up to this point.

3

Thankfully when each preview starts, it gives you a warning when you see the word Marvel on the screen. I can usually change the channel right away when that happens, or plug my ears and hum to myself as I look away. I know I look like an idiot, but I don't care. If Mark can watch QVC to make sure he doesn't see previews for the next lost, I can act like a little kid when it comes to Wolverine.

4

Speaking of Lost, I think I am going to get myself caught up with that sometime soon. Maybe take a long weekend up north and watch it from the beginning after the sun goes down each day. Now that I get out of work so early, I can make it up north on a Friday before most people are done with their days....I kinda like that.

I LOVE THE MARINE CORPS

I had planned to do that with the second season of Mad Men so I could catch up before season three starts, but I just found out last night that I am going to have to wait til the middle of July for that. BOO!

5

Morning Music 4-29-09

6

After choosing yesterday's first song, I think going random today would be fitting. Well, that and I started a random playlist this morning without even thinking about it.

7

1. Forgot About Dre- Dr. Dre with Eminem. I still really like this song. It was my first real exposure to Slim Shady. I've always enjoyed the randomness and hilarity in his lyrics, but his delivery makes what he does gold.

8

2. The Rain- Akon. Eh. A couple good songs on this CD, but this one just made me sleepy. Tempted to skip past it....but I didn't.

GOOD MARINES ARE NEVER LATE

3. Chasing Cars- Snow Patrol. This is a very timely pick for Mr. iPod. I hadn't heard this song in quite a while until the other night when I was on Youtube. I was looking for my favorite scene from a movie, and the one I found had this as the background. I've watched that video a number of times since then, and this song has been stuck in my head a lot lately. This is one of those songs that just about anyone can relate to, and I like the thoughts that pop in my head when I listen to it.

9

4. Make a Plan to Love Me- Bright Eyes. I think Conor Oberst is a wonderfully talented person, and like way more of his songs than I rightfully should. That being said, I don't like this one at all. To me it seems kind of forced. Maybe that has something to do with the title, but since the title is in the song a lot, the song is the same way. Making a plan to love someone just sounds silly to me. Either you love someone, or you don't. It's pretty simple. Maybe he wants to be shown more affection, or maybe his girl doesn't put out enough. Either way, don't beat around the bush. State your desires clearly and go from there. You don't have to always be vague or mysterious just because you write songs for a living....

10
5. Gallows Pole- Led Zeppelin. I've always enjoyed this song. It's one that has a random, meaningless memory attached to it. Just don't try listening to it with only on earphone. You don't get the full effect of the song that way. :(

11

6. A-Punk- Vampire Weekend. I have no idea where they came up with the name of this song, but it's brilliant. It's always the first song listed on my iPod because of the dash after the A. It helps that I like ths song, and most of the album, but I still think it's a nice little ploy.

12

7. One Night in Bankok- Murray Head. Classic 80s tune. I made sure to get the version with the extended intro.

CAN MARINES EVEN COUNT TO 12?

8. Eclipse- Pink Floyd. Love this song, but not on it's own. Brain Damage flows into Eclipse. Any Colour You Like flows into Brain Damage. Us and Them flows into Any Colour You Like. Those four songs together are the end of Dark Side of the Moon. Can't be separated in my mind. The beating heart at the end used to scare me as a kid, but after listening to it so much, it has come to represent something more to me, and it's actually soothing now. Another example of how immersion can help you overcome fears.

WHO AM I KIDDING?

9. My Violent Heart- NIN. I really like this song, but can't identify with it anymore. The violence has slowly seeped out of my heart as I've gotten older. Now the question becomes, what has filled the space in which the violence used to reside?

EVEN IF THEY COULD COUNT THAT HIGH,

10. Disco Science- Mirwais. Great way to end my playlist. I can't remember what scene this was from in Snatch, but it fit really well and I downloaded it soon after I saw the movie. It's a great song to listen to for motivation when I have to get something done that requires a good amount of thought. It'll get you going, and has no lyrics to distract you.

THEY'D NEVER FIND THIS

As May Approaches....

The stiff breeze that sweetly stung my overheated skin and the stiffness in my joints were telltale signs that the rain would be moving in soon. As I lay in bed, I contemplated my options. I could ignore the predicting factors and just go to sleep, knowing that if the rain arrived while I was asleep there would surely be enough direct evidence coming through my window to find my head and wake me up.

Option number two involved getting up to close the window, which I truly did not want to do, and would eliminate the cool breeze which sought to regulate the temperature in my room. The question really became one of sleep continuity. I was tired. Tired enough that I wouldn't notice the breeze, or lack thereof, much after I laid my head to the pillow. I probably would notice the rain dotting my face in the middle of the night though. As I have been having a hard enough time sleeping straight through nights recently, I decided to close the window and at least gave myself a chance at continuous sleep. No such luck.

Throughout last night I tossed and turned in my sleep, never fully waking up when I did so, but never staying fully asleep when I did. Dreams are hard to remember, although I do remember one where I hung out with my cousin Johnny for a while and gave him a BIG hug when I saw him. I went to bed knowing someone close to me needed a big hug, and I guess my subconscious just carried that on into my dream world to the first loved one that I saw.

I just find it strange that he was the one who showed up in my dream. Johnny and I have never been close. I can't swear that we've ever had a conversation. During family parties, all of the cousins usually hung out in their own general age groups. I was in a large one, with another large one slightly older than us, then a smaller one even older than that. Johnny is one of the oldest of my older cousins. Our groups usually didn't even cross paths at family parties.

Of course as we all got older, the age difference became less and less of a factor for all the cousins. Now all the cousins aged from their younger 20s to older 30s, even 40s maybe for a couple, can all hang out and carry on normal everyday conversations and have a good time together. In the last few years, I have gotten to know my older and younger cousins much better than I had ever thought I would.

Johnny never became part of that for me because he moved to California some time ago. I don't know exactly when it was, but I have to imagine it was at least 10-12 years ago, and I don't know that I've seen him since. Johnny's parents, my Aunt Di and Uncle John, are always people I seek out at family parties, and so are their other children.

That part of my family has a sense of humor much like mine, and is always fun to hang out with. I'm sure I'll see that side of Johnny one day too, and maybe I'll give him a big hug. OK, probably not gonna give him a hug....but it sounded good, right?

THIS

Day Number....Whatever

TEMPLATE

Current weight: 241.0 lbs

SUCKS

Not a single day in the gym last week. Didn't stick to the diet all that much. I am actually surprised I only gained one pound. Unfortunately I don't see this week being much better with all the food that will be floating around work the next few days.

WTF?

My original plan was to lose about 10-15 lbs this month so I could really get it into high gear come May. My graduated diet really puts me on lockdown this Friday. No more bargaining with myself for cheat meals. I'll have a set number of meals between cheat times, which will gradually start to disappear throughout the month. I'm not conditioned for it, and it's going to be tough. I am also probably going to be crabby for the first few days, so tread lightly. ;-)

The More Things Change....The Lions Still Can't Draft.

This photo says it all. Three reasons I have completely given up hope. For the most part, I have been a Redskins fan first, and a Lions fan second. This year, I really don't care about the Lions. If they want to step on their own heads while they are drowning, at least I don't have to watch. I hope all of their home games are blacked out this year.

Shadow of the Day

WHEN
Ugh. With all the stuff going on this week, I have not been able to make it to the gym once. The earliest I can make it would be tomorrow morning, but I still need to see if I am getting the tire replaced on my X tomorrow. If that's the case, Sunday it is.

EVERYTHING

So I am glad the Wings are done with Columbus now, but it's somewhat bittersweet. They were the only possible opponent for us in our time zone. The only team left in the West that isn't at least two time zones away is Chicago, and there is no way we play them next round. If San Jose comes back from a 3-1 deficit to beat the Ducks, they play the winner of the Calgary/Chicago series and we play Vancouver. If Anaheim can win one more game, we get them. Either way, our road games are gonna be very late starts next round, and I will probably miss at least one because of it.

TURNS

Even without staying up for a late Wings game, I have been dragging this week. After class tonight I will probably take Black Betty out for an extended ride home (Mental Note: Gauge friend's interest in yacht club dinner tonight) up Hines Drive, if it's open. Whenever I make it back home, I am pretty sure I am going crash out hard and get some much needed rest.

GRAY

Since tomorrow is going to be such a nice day, I want to get up relatively early so I can get some stuff done around the house and garage. If I get a new back tire, I'll be taking the X for a ride to see how she handled the winter in the garage. I started her up last weekend and she sounded and felt fine, but you never know.

WHERE

Whatever happens early tomorrow, the one thing I do have planned for the afternoon is going to BW3 to watch the NFL Draft. Going to B-Dub's is kind of a tradition for draft day that dates back more than ten years to our CMU days. It will be interesting to see what happens with the Lions picks, as well as some other teams I want to keep an eye on.

WILL

After the first round or so of the draft is over, I think I am done going out for the weekend. I have so much to do with papers and speeches and studying and whatnot....I'll probably have my face buried in my laptop the rest of the weekend.

YOU

Morning Music 4-24-09

FIND

I had one song I wanted to listen to on the way in this morning, and that set off this playlist.

YOUR

1. Hard Sun- Eddie Vedder. Pretty sure this one has come up before, but I really like this version. One of the few covers that I like more than the original.

SUN?

2. My Hallelujah Song- Julianne Hough. WTF is this? Where in the hell did this come from? This led to a first for me with my random morning playlilst....I skipped this song after about 30 seconds. And even THAT was too much for me.

I close both locks below the window

3. Code Red- Tori Amos. While I have heard that American Doll Posse is a concept album, I actually haven't listened to it from start to finish. There are a few songs on the CD that I enjoy, but isn't that just about any Tori Amos album?

I close both blinds and turn away

4. Daughter of Darkness- Tom Jones. According to Tom Jones, women are evil. Who am I to argue with "The Voice".

Sometimes solutions aren't so simple

5. The (After) Life of the Party- Fall Out Boy. I like most of what they do, but am so sick of them. They have faded a little since becoming victims of their own stardom, and Pete Wentz, and being overexposed. This song reminds me of an 80s song, but I can't think of which one. Any help out there?

Sometimes goodbye's the only way

6. Kiss Me, I'm $#!*faced- Dropkick Murphys. Ahh, the contemporary Irish love ballad.

And the sun will set for you

7. Back in Your Head- Tegen and Sarah. Another group I hear too much about, and didn't really miss. This is a good song, but I have heard it way too much. It's not THAT good you know.

The sun will set for you

8. Dirty Little Thing- Velvet Revolver. I have no idea what the lyrics mean, but I think this song sounds enough like old Guns n' Roses stuff to really enjoy it anyway.

And the shadow of the day

9. Violence- Bif Naked. Mr iPod seems to have a thing for her. I'm not buying into it anymore. Good stuff, but a little dated.

Will embrace the world in gray

10. Shadow of the Day- Linkin Park. I REALLY like this song, but listening to the words always makes me sad. I have been blessed to have some truly wonderful people come into my life over the years. Unfortunately, nothing lasts forever and the sun will set on many relationships. Saying goodbye to those special people who have left my life was always very hard. I'm not really a very nostalgic person, but when it comes to people I get close with, I really am.

And the sun will set for you

I can even extend this to my pets, who I am VERY nostalgic about when they are gone. The impact they have had on my heart and soul is immeasurable. I still miss the first dog I ever lost, and lately just seeing how time is catching up with Guinness breaks my heart a little bit every time I think about it.

In cards and flowers on your window

I realize just how limited our time together is now, and with how busy my life will be for the next year or so, I won't get to spend as much time just chilling out with him and Kira as I would like. I'll take advantage of what time I can, and fully plan to spend as much time up at the cabin with the two of them this summer as possible.

Your friends all plead for you to stay

From here it leaps to my current situation. I very well may be leaving the area before the end of the year. Saying goodbye to those nearest and dearest to me will be one of the hardest things I've ever done. I have had a wonderful support system of friends and family near me for so long, it will be quite an adjustment just walking away from that. This is the biggest reason I got a webcam built into the laptop I purchased earlier this year. If I am far away from everyone for a long enough time, I will need the intimacy that cam chats can provide above normal IM or e-mail chats.

Sometimes beginnings aren't so simple

And while this sun may set sooner than expected, it will undoubtedly rise again.

Sometimes goodbye's the only way

Morning Music 4-23-09

For most of this week, I've felt as if I was falling behind and couldn't do anything about it no matter how hard I tried. Today I finally feel as if I am catching up. Once I get through this week, I will feel a lot better. When I leave school at 9pm tomorrow, everything will be just that much better. Sleeping in on Saturday will also be a tremendous help.

Dragging a little this morning, I couldn't wait til I got to work to start my morning playlist, so I hit shuffle on the iPod about halfway into my 12 minute commute. Here's what I got.

1. I Write Sins, Not Tragedies- Panic! At the Disco. I haven't heard this song in a while, nor anything else from P!ATD for that matter. I always like the title of this song. I mean, come on....would you rather read about sins or tragedy. Sign me up for the sinning please.

2. You Won't Make a Fool Out of Me- Flogging Molly. I think I've already said more than enough about how much I love this band. Although I don't know that I talked much about our trip to Cleveland to see them at House of Blues. Suffice it to say, I think we are going to have to make Flogging Molly roadtrips an annual event.

3. Pimp Juice- Nelly. Funny how certain memories are attached to songs. I will always think of Cory's wedding when I hear this song. When the Mr and Mrs were introduced at the reception, this is the song they came out to. Classic Cory moment. Also, I still have no idea what "you wanna put your on my rug, dontcha?" means.

4. This Heaven- David Gilmour. The distinct sounds of his guitar drove Pink Floyd for many years, and I really like the CD (On an Island) this song is on. This wouldn't be my first selection from the album, but it's a nice change of pace from Nelly.

5. Rainy Day Women #12 & #35- Bob Dylan. Better known as "Everybody. Must. Get Stoned." I'd be willing to bet anyone out there that they have more experience with that than I do though, so maybe the meaning of this song is lost on me.

6. Girls Gone Wild- Ludacris. Eh. I always thought this sounded like a song Eminem would do. I love me some Luda, but it's just ok to me.

7. Lil' Ghetto Boy- Dr. Dre. Ah, Snoop and Dre. The Chronic. Great memories from the peak of "Gangsta Rap". Hard to believe that was 15 years ago.

8. Carbon Monoxide- Regina Spektor. Ok Mr iPod, I think you have officially come up with the most random playlist in history. I can guarantee most of these songs have never followed their predecessors before now.

9. Song Sung Blue- Neil Diamond. Wow. Still very random.

10. Kick Start My Heart- Motley Crue. Interesting. I had a little discussion on Facebook yesterday about going to Cruefest this year. Mental Note: This goes directly to the gym playlist.

Early Morning Activism

When I left for work this morning, I turned on a hall light so mark would be able to see a little better when he came downstairs to get ready for work....but when I got to work, I turned off TWO lights that didn't need to be on. I am pretty sure I just saved the world from global warming today.

Happy Earth Day

Morning Music 4-21-09

Started off the morning with a song I wanted to hear, and let Mr iPod choose the rest.

1. Gives You Hell- All-American Rejects. I've loved this song since I first heard it. Very often I like a song because of the lyrics or the message within, but that's not the case here. I am not a bitter ex. As a matter of fact, I could easily maintain a friendship with any of my exes, assuming they could do the same. They are all great people, but our relationships just didn't work for one reason or another. I harbor no ill will toward anyone I have ever dated. That being said....I still love this song.

2. Tiny Vessels- Death Cab for Cutie. I like most of their songs, but a lot of them tend to sound similar to me. I wasn't sure which song this was til I looked at the title on my iPod about halfway through.

3. Rock Me Gently- Not Sure, But it's the Version from the Jeep Commercial. This commercial got this song stuck in my head for a long time, and I downloaded it to make sure anyone else who drove anywhere with me, namely Mark, could share in my pain at the time. I still use it every now and again on the way home when I am DD. Great value for my 99 cents.

4. The Curse- Audioslave. Two days in a row Mr iPod? You must really like this song. Yeah....me too.

5. Good- Better than Ezra. Another song I really enjoy, but don't care about the lyrics. This song in entirely too singable. Thankfully no one was around me when it came on.

6. Galvanize- The Chemical Brothers. One of the many fine offerings from their Push the Button album.

7. Lost- Katy Perry. She has a lot of songs that are pretty good outside of her monster hit I Kissed a Girl. This isn't one of my favorites, but it's listenable.

8. Sir Psycho Sexy- Red Hot Chili Peppers. Mr iPod is on quite the RHCP kick lately.

9. People = Sh*t- Richard Cheese. How can you not love Richard Cheese? I remember driving around as a teenager and singing contemporary songs as bid band and lounge songs. I thought it was cute and funny at the time, but hearing him do it puts those cute moments to shame. The name of this song is also an equation I think of every Tuesday and Thursday when I am in math class....

10. How Do I Live- Leann Rimes. I guess you can consider this country, but I still really like it. She's also turned into a very pretty woman. She's no Jewel or anything, but she's still pretty hot.

Backing Out

I went to Home Depot after work yesterday to get some stuff for the garage. Came home, and changed clothes so I could work on my speech (that I left at work), but soon after changing clothes I ended up hurting my back by stretching too far, for too long without warming up a little.

Hopefully by taking it slow today and doing a little stretching here and there, I can work this sore muscle out. If not, I'll have to limit my physical activity until it feels better. That means very little, if any, riding as well as getting stricter with my diet. If this lasts a few days, I am gonna be quite the grouch. Strict diet + back pain - motorcycles = me being no fun to be around.

So the light fixtures I got for the garage are gonna have to wait. I also picked up a couple huge (96 inch) florescent light bulbs last night to replace the one in my basement that burned out. Replacing those is a piece of cake compared to putting up the shop lights in the garage, and just reaching up for those few seconds to change the basement bulb really affected my back.

So that's where I am. Whining about my back hurting. I'm pretty sure this goes for everyone, but I really don't like back pain. Most pain is very easy to endure, but back pain can stop you from doing so much. Although....I can (and do) think of one specific way I'd really enjoy a little pain on my back.

Day 29

Current weight: 240 lbs.

While I can't seem to take my diet as seriously as I'd like, especially on the weekends, I am still losing weight consistently with dieting I am actually doing. It's just not enough. At my weight, my body can fluctuate up to 5 lbs either way in the course of a day. While I do each of my weigh-ins at the same time of day to minimize this effect on my progress, I don't really see this as all that much progress because I could easily end a day right where I was when I started of this anyway.

I need to have a noticeable drop to feel better about this. I have noticed my pants fitting a little looser, but it's nothing I would really notice if I wasn't looking for it. What I need is to look in the mirror and SEE that I have lost weight, or for my friends who see me regularly to notice it. That's when I will feel good about my progress. Until then, I will just sit here and eat my handful of dry cheerios with disdain.

Morning Music 4-20-09

Time to see what iPod has in store for me today....hopefully he's not gonna let his sense of humor choose just because of today's date.

1. Just Sixteen- Velvet Revolver. Not one of their songs I would go out of my way to listen to, but nice pace and a good way to start off the morning nonetheless.

2. The Legend of John Henry's Hammer- Johnny Cash. I was never a fan of Cash's long winded "ballads of" and this really is not an exception.

3. The Fly- U2. This might be the first time a U2 song has popped up on one of my morning playlists. Whether or not it's one of my favorites from them, it's always good to hear them. As I stated on Friday, U2 always makes everything better....even when people are threatening your life.

4. Strip My Mind- Red Hot Chili Peppers. Another song that isn't what I'd choose from that artist, but still very listenable.

5. Viva la Vida- Coldplay. "OK, enough complaining....here's the song you would pick from this artist." Thank you Mr I. Now let me sit back, close my eyes, and enjoy this.

6. Knockin on Heaven's Door- Bob Dylan. I can't say enough about how much I like his songs. Even Guns N Roses covered this one well.

7. Green, Green Grass of Home- Tom Jones. It's too early to listen to this slow paced song about dreaming when I just want to be back home dreaming myself. Ugh.

8. Original Fire- Audioslave. Thank you. Needed to pick up the pace a little.

9. The Curse- Audioslave. Back-to-back picks from the same group, this better be good....and well, listening closely to the lyrics this time around, I actually do think this is a good song. Much better now than I thought the other times I have heard it. I love the chorus. It changes slightly each time, and seems to get better throughout. Here is the final chorus:

As you're laughing at this fool tonight

Let me rid myself of any line that I might choose to trip you up

And as I'm howling at the moonlight, don't you kid yourself

I will be your luck, even at my worst

I will be your luck, never be your curse

10. Charlie- Red Hot Chili Peppers. Another artist repeat. Since it's not back-to-back, I guess I can be a little more lenient for this....which is good because I already know this song, and it's one of the ones I think is just ok.

Last Night

Stayed in last night to work on a speech and a paper for school. As the semester draws to a close here in early May, more and more assignments are coming due. As long as I get through the next three weeks without losing my shit, I will be done and can relax for a while. And assuming that I turn in all my remaining assignments and don't totally bomb them in the process, I should have another semester on the dean's list behind me soon.

While sitting on the couch doing my homework and watching some playoff hockey, we somehow came across the Miss USA contest as they were doing the swimsuit competition. Now, we didn't really want to watch any of that....but the Veronicas were going to be performing, so I kinda had to stick around and see how they did.

Now during the contest, I realized that one of the girls (Miss Kentucky) reminded me of Nikki Reed. I looked up pictures for both girls, put them side by side, and showed Mark who agreed. Then I showed another friend online, and she disagreed. Let me see what y'all think.

I watched the Miss USA thing til the end, and was disappointed that the three I picked didn't do so well. Then again, I'm not nearly as sophisticated as the Miss USA judges. You know, Keenan from SNL and one of Trump's kids. Professional judges.

All during the Miss USA pageant, I had the Lifetime movie Prayers for Bobby on split screen so I could look for my uncle as an extra in a couple of the scenes. Now that a bunch of movies are being shot in Michigan and my uncle is retired, he got himself an agent and does movie work on the side.

So after this "busy" Sunday night, I finally get to bed but have hard time staying asleep. I don't remember too many dreams from last night, but the one I do remember was extremely vivid. I was recruited to play double -A ball for a nearby team. I pitched in a couple games, and even though I had a couple Nuke LaLoosh moments, I had a very respectable ERA. Especially for someone they pulled right off the street. Long story short, I was just a band-aid for them until one of their pitchers came off the DL, and then they assigned me to their A ball club to work on my delivery. Unfortunately, the A club was in NY and didn't pay nearly enough for me to really live on. I had to walk away from being a pro baseball player.

Although I didn't sleep so well, I wasn't doing much tossing and turning at all. I must have been on my left side pretty much all night, since I woke up with a very stiff, very sore shoulder. Even just typing this morning bothers me....although you'd never be able to tell with all these words above.

I guess with all this rambling, I can end this just about any time now.

Conference Previews

Every year I break down each NHL playoff match-up, and I have not been afraid to share my opinion with one and all. Two years ago I posted my thoughts and predictions here, while last year I posted them exclusively on the This Ain't Iowa forums. This year, I figured I'd be daring and post what I think in both places.

So here they are. A day late since I couldn't post them yesterday afternoon, and without my normal in-depth analysis. I should get wordier as we get deeper into the playoffs. I'll have more chances to see each team play, and with fewer games each round I will be able to focus a little more.

Western Conference:

#1 San Jose -vs- #8 Anaheim

For most of this season, San Jose has looked like the best team in the NHL. Anaheim looked lost until fairly recently. There is not much else to point out here really, but any time I have a chance to take a shot at Giguere, I'll take it. His numbers this year: .900 save percentage and a 3.10 GAA. Very pedestrian numbers for this "great" goalie.

Pick: SJ 4-0

#2 Detroit -vs- #7 Columbus

I really don't want to be scared of this match-up, but I have a feeling Columbus is going to play us pretty well. I don't think they have enough to give us another embarrassing first round exit, but I don't think we'll sweep them either. Ken Hitchcock loves to beat the Wings, and will do his best to parlay their performance versus Detroit throughout the season into some momentum for the playoffs, especially when they play at home. Although they won't be lucky enough this post season to host the Wings the night after they played a game in Detroit, while Columbus had the night off, like they did a couple times during the season.

Pick: Det 4-1

#3 Vancouver -vs- #6 St Louis

I think the Blues are in for a world of hurt with this match-up. I don't know any team that would want to play the Canucks right now. Both teams have been hot since February with a combined record of 44-14-8 in that time, but Vancouver just seems to have that edge to them right now while it seems that the Blues are just happy to be in the playoffs. While I think the Canucks will win the series quickly, I do think these games will be closely contested and fun to watch.

Pick: Van 4-1

#4 Chicago -vs- #5 Calgary

This series could really go either way. Early this year, I would have given the nod to the Flames easily....but that was before they had a little collapse the last couple months. They have only won 9 of their last 21 games dating back to the beginning of March. They made some improvements at the trade deadline, but you wouldn't know by looking at their record. Even so, I have to believe that the Flames will come to play this post season, and I like them to take down the Blackhawks, who seem just a year or two away from a serious cup run to me. This should also be another great series to watch with plenty of odd man rushes to get you to the edge of your seat.

Pick: Cal 4-2

Eastern Conference:

#1 Boston -vs- #8 Montreal

This is another series I will enjoy watching. I think these teams will play each other very tight, and things could get very chippy throughout this series. I think Boston is playing a little too well to lose this series, but they won't just breeze right through it like they want to.

Pick: Bos 4-2

#2 Washington -vs- #7 New York Rangers

I like this match-up for the Caps. I don't see them having too much trouble advancing through the Rangers. The Rangers should win one game at home, but would be lucky to get anything else from the Caps before retiring to the golf course.

Pick: Was 4-1

#3 New Jersey -vs- #6 Carolina

Not much to say here. I always have way too much faith in the Devils during the playoffs, and always have too little faith in the Hurricanes in the playoffs. Hopefully this will be short and painless for both teams.

Pick: NJ 4-0

#4 Pittsburgh -vs- #5 Philadelphia

The Penguins have a lot of talent, but are definitely not the same team that made it to the finals last season. I don't see them making it much further than the second round this year, but they should have enough to take out the Flyers.

Pick: Pit 4-2

Day 22....er, 23

A Momentary Lapse of Diet

Current Weight: 241.5

About halfway through last week I completely gave up dieting, caving to the stress around me and the cravings that seemingly came out of nowhere. I am very surprised to have only gained a pound back with as bad as my diet went. Back on the horse as of yesterday, and I am doing pretty well. Now lets just see if I can drag myself to the gym today.

Morning Music 4/14/09

I had a hankerin for a particular White Stripes song this morning, so I chose the first track of my morning playlist.

1. Prickly Thorn, but Sweetly Worn- The White Stripes. Not sure exactly why I wanted to hear this....but I did.

2. Whiskey, You're the Devil (Live)- The Clancy Brothers. This one made me smile. I am not a whiskey man, as many can attest, but have quite a few friends who like it. This song made me think of one friend in particular, and the trouble they have with whiskey being their devil.

3. Layla- Derek and the Dominos. One of the best classic rock songs of all time. I can get lost in the end of the song. Speaking of getting lost, lost in all the talk of how great this song is, and the story everyone knows about this song being about Clapton's unrequited love for the wife of his friend (and former Beatle) George Harrison....and how she eventually married Clapton after divorcing Harrison, is where the name of the song came from since the woman in quesiton was named Pattie Boyd. The inspiration for the name came from Layla and Majnun which was written by a classical Persian poet. It's an interesting story, and has had quite an influence over time.

4. Madly- Tristan Prettyman. Not a bad find through iTunes free songs of the week. I am always open to new music, so I download their featured song of the week pretty often. This one I am happy about, but there are quite a few others that I need to take off my iPod. For some reason this song reminds me of something that chick who sang on Ally McBeal would do.

5. Moment of Weakness- Bif Naked. I guess I could have subtitled the first part of my post with the same name....but Pink Floyd > Bif Naked.

6. I Wanna be Sedated- The Ramones. Classic punk anthem. How can you NOT like this?

7. Crushcrushcrush- Paramore. I always liked this song a lot. Interesting lyrics.

8. Tangerine- Led Zeppelin. What an amazing band. Just one of their brilliant pieces of work.

9. It Keeps You Running- The Doobie Brothers. AGH! This list was soooo good until now. On the bright side, hearing Michael McDonald sing always reminds me of The 40 Year Old Virgin.

10. Love's Theme- Barry White's Love Unlimited Orchestra. Who needs lyrics?

Morning Music 4/13/09

I hadn't planned on a song post this morning, but now with a little extra time and after having read my last post, it's probably a good idea. I guess at first glance, the last post isn't too bad....a few misspellings here and there, no big deal. Then I looked at the time stamp and tried to remember what was going on in my head, but I can't.

I

I don't really remember being awake at that time, although by multiple accounts I was, and I always ramble random stuff when I am that tired. Even more random than normal. I've read it a few times, and still have no idea what I was getting at. Now I know what it's like trying to talk to me sometimes. A whole bunch of words that could mean a lot of things, but no clarification. Glad I don't talk to myself all that often.

REALLY

1. Queen Anne's Revenge- Flogging Molly. It's no surprise that a Flogging Molly song pops up first. They are one of the bands that dominate space in my ipod. Thankfully this is one of their up tempo songs, I don't know that I could have handled a ballad this early.

HATE

2. Assassin- Muse. Another up tempo song, this one just kicks it up a notch for me after the Flogging Molly.

THAT

3. Vapor Trail- The Crystal Method. Good song to level off the aggression and intensity of the first two.

I

4. Friends- Led Zeppelin. Not one of the most popular of Zeppelin songs, but this one had quite an impact on me when I was first really learning what music meant to me, and what kind of music meant what to me. This was on a mixtape that my mother had made when she was in her early 20s. I found it on the flip side of a tape of myself as an infant, and played it an awful lot when I was young.

HAVE

5. Back Down- 50 Cent. When 50 hit the scene with Get Rich or Die Tryin, I wanted to buy the CD. A friend at work gave me the his copy of the it so I could make a copy. I still have it. Guess he shouldn't have gotten himself fired.

TO

6. Track #2- Technation II. The name of the artist and song were lost in the great computer fire of '01....but I like this song nonetheless.

MANUALLY

7. Three Coins in the Fountain- Frank Sinatra.

FORMAT

8. In a Sentimental Mood- Benny Goodman. My ipod must be sentimental. Well, it IS getting old.

THIS

9. Fidelity- Regina Spektor. I could go on and on about how much I like her, but you already know by now.

TEMPLATE

10. No I in Threesome- Interpol. Ain't that the truth?

Perseverance

I'm running bad lately. I've played my cards the best I could, overall, and am still running bad. This applies to both my poker game and my personal game of life.

The poker is easy to diagnose. I don't expect to play perfect, but I do expect to play well and adjust my game at times that benefit the bottom line. With hand histories and statistical analysis, I can see exactly how well, or poorly, I am playing overall and I am not disappointed at all in my play....now if only I could get my cards going to put me on a nice rush.

Life, however, is not as easy to diagnose. It's just as easy to second guess....but you can't analyze everything. Am I playing my cards right with my life? Have I played too tight for too long, making me a short stack as the blinds get insanely high? I really don't like poker analogies, but they seem to make more sense that a lot of other analogies....maybe poker really IS life.

OK, I know that's not true....but it's be a lot easier if it were.

Morning Music 4/9/09

1. Polaris- Jimmy Eat World. WELL....we can tell right away that today's mix is entirely random. When this CD came out a few years ago I really enjoyed it, but I was in a very different frame of mind back then and a lot of things have changed. My music tastes have progressed away from this silly named band.

2. Throw the Jew Down the Well- Borat. Started laughing when I heard the guitar playing to begin the song. I didn't realize I still had this on my iPod....but it was good for a laugh.

3. Drunken Lullabies- Flogging Molly. :-)

4. Detroit City- Tom Jones. It's kinda funny to listen to this song and realize that spending a night in Detroit made him get all whiney and homesick. No love for the D even then.

5. Pretty good song.

6. God's Gonna Cut You Down- Johnny Cash. No one could ever mistake me for a very religious person, but I REALLY like this song. There is something amazing about some of the songs he recorded late in his life. So surreal, yet so utterly genuine.

7. Wake Up- Rage Against the Machine. I only like this song because it was the end of The Matrix. I completely LOVED that movie when it came out. Went to see it in the theater 7 times. It's kinda hard to believe that movie came out 10 years ago. Anyway, at that time I had already outgrown my teenage years and my tolerance for Rage. Not it's just, eh.

8. Get Up- Unwritten Law. Wake Up followed by Get Up? iPod must know how sleepy I am today....yawn.

9. The Day That I Die- Good Charlotte. Very upbeat for a song about suicide. Not one of my favorites from them, or this CD which was pretty effing awesome, but still a tune I find myself singing along to.

10. Different- Acceptance. Very good song. Only song from them I actually listen to.

Close Call

Yesterday started off like any normal work day for me. My phone alarm jarred me awake and I quickly shut it off. Normally my alarm across the room will start playing a CD about a minute and a half later, in case I don't get up when the phone goes off or I turn it off without even waking up. After turning off my phone, stretching in bed, and closing my eyes again I started to fall back to sleep. No big deal. I've got a good song coming on soon to wake me up. Or do I?

1

Just when I realized I was falling asleep again, I nearly jumped out of bed with the thought that the few seconds I believed I was asleep after the alarm could have been a couple hours because no matter what, the other alarm should have gone off by now. I would have loved to take the day off yesterday, but since that wasn't possible, I must have just given my alarm clock the day off instead as I didn't set it before I went to bed.

2

It was an inauspicious start to the day, which didn't get much better at all to tell the truth. Work was marginally busier than normal, but the big lunch meeting we hosted was quite the pain for nearly a full hour. After work, I knew a nap would be in order if I expected to survive a night of my math class and still be alert enough to play round two of my heads-up tourney shortly thereafter. I crawled in bed almost immediately after I got home.

3

As tired as I was, the thought of not being able to fall asleep for a nap wasn't even in my head, but that's exactly what happened. I tossed and turned, hearing every little noise inside and outside of the house. Even hearing Guinness breathing shallowly as he slept on the floor next to my bed, normally something very soothing, bothered me as much as someone pounding on my roof with a hammer would have.

4

To make matters worse, I fell into a deep, coma-like sleep right before my alarm went off so I could make it to class on time. I probably should have gotten up and gone to class, but I couldn't drag myself out of my room. I set the alarm for a couple hours later and jumped back into bed. Guinness didn't seem to mind that he wasn't going to be forced out of my room just yet, and may have been back to sleep himself before I even got the covers back over me.

5

Once I finally got up, I had this crazy craving for Wendy's. Not great diet food, but I gave in to my craving. Oddly enough, the food itself wasn't fulfilling once I got home. It filled me up and all, but I didn't really enjoy it like I normally do when I scarf down something I had been craving. It was strange, then actually made me feel bad for not enjoying a cheat meal.

6

After that I played my second round match against Paigow Pete. I got down 0-2 in the match pretty quickly, but stayed alive by winning the next two and forced a deciding 5th game. I ended up losing the final game, and almost putting my right hand through my computer desk when he flipped over ANOTHER 3 of a kind in a big pot. That was the story of our match though.

7

I'd rate our play in the matches as about on par with each other, but most of the big hands played out in his favor. I don't want to take anything away from Pete, I mean saying I thought his play was on par with mine is a compliment I don't give many people in heads-up games, because he earned the victory for sure. I was just frustrated that the hands played out the way they did. We both had a number of big hands throughout the match, but he was able to get away from hands when I made my big ones, and I usually had something worth looking up when he had his.

8

For the small amount of hands we played in this heads-up match, I had some pretty great cards. Lots of big pocket pairs that I'd win just the blinds with, and a lot of my straight and flush draws got there but didn't get paid off. At one point I made a straight flush and won the absolute minimum I could have in the pot.

9

Alright, enough whining about the tournament. Now it's time to whine about the heads-up matches I played afterward. I came out on the losing end (5-6) of an 11 HUSnG session on Full Tilt. I started off in the lower buy-ins to get reacclimated with the structure on FT after playing on Stars for the tourney, and the play money games on Stars at that. My first 6 games were at $5, and I went 3-3. After that I was ready to play for real and played a $50 game which I lost.

10

Just after that I noticed an unfamiliar name sitting in the lobby for a $100 game. Unfamiliar names there are good. The only people that can sustain playing those levels long enough to get familiar are the ones who are consistent winners. If you are a good player and can break even at those levels, the rake is still gonna kill ya. So I sit down with the unfamiliar player, and become familiar with him pretty quickly. He is a very solid player, but his strategy was easy for me to adjust to and exploit.

11

He was a little too passive early and let me get a decent chip lead in each of our games. Playing against me heads-up when I have you outchipped is not easy. Like I said though, he was solid and was able to trap me in one hand late in our first game by just calling from the button then calling my raise from the big blind when I bumped it up 3x with a suited AJ. I flop two pair and lead out, he raised a little more than the minimum, and I reraised him enough to commit him. I insta-call when he shoves and he tables pocket aces.

12

Nice play, but you can only use it once against me....and to be honest, it was kind of wasted here because I was going to put him all in one way or another after that flop anyway. Had he gotten any piece of that flop, he was going to be committed by turn as I had him outchipped 2-1 at the start of the hand. So it worked there when he didn't need to use it, and also alerted me to that being part of his arsenal.

13

He used that move three more times over the course of our 4 games. The second and third time were also successful, but very limited in their success. I got away from my hands very easily and noticed his distinct betting pattern with big hands like that. The fourth time nearly busted him, and put him out of that game for all intents and purposes when he slow played the aces and I flopped two pair. I gave him just enough rope to hang himself then raised him enough on the river to commit his entire stack to the pot, but still look like a value bet. Oddly, with a very disjointed board, he just called. After that he had a couple hundred left and was done for.

14

Overall we played to a 2-2 tie in our games, which would have been a 3-1 margin of victory for me had he not hit a one outer on the river to make quads versus my boat after the money went in on the turn. Like I said, the day didn't go so great after my alarm snafu. I was more than happy to go to bed after taking that sick beat for a $200 swing. This time, I set my alarm.

Day 15

Current weight: 240.5 lbs

Thanks

Kinda surprised I didn't drop below 240, but I was pretty liberal with my last two cheat days....I'm not thinking the entire Hungry Howie's pizza (plus bread) I ate was a dinner that fits into any decent diet.

for

Again, I am not expecting miracles. I know that most people would be happy to average 2 lbs a week as a weight loss, but I know my body. If the diet is working well I should see a 7-10 lb drop in the span of a week as I shed the water weight along with a pound or two of fat. I'll be a much happier man when I see something near that.

looking.

More unhappiness; How come no one told me this past Saturday was National Pillow Fight Day? Thanks a lot guys. No one appreciates a good pillow fight more than yours truly.

Nothing

Back to my diet here for a minute, since I am already being pretty stream of consciousness already. One of the things I set out to do with this diet was to reduce, if not completely eliminate, my dependency on caffeine. I went the entire work week last week caffeine free. Over the weekend I fell off the wagon for a period of less than 24 hours, and I am back on the wagon again today.

to

Now, I am not one to let a small coincidence sneak by unnoticed, and between the time I started writing this earlier this morning and now, CNN.com posted this related story.

see

If you are too lazy or uninterested to read it, it's basically about the side effects of caffeine withdrawl. All of them have applied to me at one point over the last week or so, and the headache has come back again today. Right now I am debating whether or not to give in to my craving so I can peacefully study for the test I have tonight. The headache will be a little worse tomorrow, and maybe even another day or two longer as well, but I honestly have very little to do in school this week after this test.

here.

I think I have come to my answer. Now the only question left is whether I used deductive reasoning or inductive reasoning to get there.

:-)

Restless Night?

I finally get to sleep in today. No getting up at 4am. Which is good since I went to sleep about 1:30. I turned off both of my alarm clocks before I went to bed, but my body must not have gotten the memo that I am NOT working OT time like I should be. I woke up at 6:15 with this terrible feeling that I was late for work. I looked at my phone, took a minute to make sure it was Saturday, then went back to sleep til 9am.

Other than the brief moment I woke up I slept solid for 7.5 hours, which I have found to be pretty much perfect for me. Why then, do I feel like I didn't sleep last night? On an average week night, I get about 4.5 hours of sleep. Last night I got almost twice that, but feel worse than I do when I get up for work.

With not much planned this morning, and a heads-up match on Pokerstars looming Tuesday, I decided to hit up Stars for a few play money heads up games to get used to the structure and the feel of the HUSnGs on Stars since I play those only on Full Tilt.

Long story short, I didn't fare well with the play money and decided to hit up the cash games on Stars. Mind you, since I went broke there I haven't reloaded. I was down to about thirty cents a few months back and decided to try and run that up as high as I could. After a week or so I had about ten bucks. This was about the time I went back to school, and all my free time for poker went out the window.

Until today I had played sparingly there, and not at all this year, and my account was sitting at a strong $11.86 when I logged in today. After a couple hours of grinding the micro limits, I am even stronger now at $14.83. At this pace, I'll be able to buy myself a sandwich in just a few months....

Now that I am done padding my Stars bankroll, I need to figure out what to do with the rest of my day. There are a couple options that could turn out REALLY fun, but that's depending on a couple other people....and that doesn't seem to go too well for me lately.

Ring the Alarm

Nothing like a fire alarm (thankfully false) more than 20 stories up to get your heart pumping at 6am. Maybe that's my payback for the April fool's jokes I played yesterday....or maybe something less supernatural, like someone doing wood work too close to an alarm panel.

I BRING THE FIRE

Marching On

I find it hard to believe that today is the last day of March. It seems like just yesterday that we were making plans for Marktoberfest and discussing options for New Year's....and now we're a quarter way through 2009. I'm not at all complaining. The latest winter of of discontent is now over, and we are we on our way to much more pleasant weather. Everyone around here could use a little more sun in their lives. Some more than others.

I've been trying to find the motivation to write an epic post today. I have a ton of thoughts that go along with flipping the page on my calendar. I just can't do it. I'm somewhat disenchanted at the moment and have found it hard to express just about anything lately. Starving myself and abstaining from caffeine are not helping, let me tell you.

I am waiting on an answer. More accurately, I am waiting on a question. Within this question lies my answers for many other questions. Naturally, I am going to speculate on what these answers will be anyway....somewhat preparing me for the realities of answering these questions with a question. Whether or not this makes sense, it's still somewhat draining. Throw in a little sleep deprivation and a couple of personal issues, and you've got one disenchanted red-skinned potato.

I may not have the answers. I may not have the questions. I still have my resolve. I know everything will be fine, no matter what. I just have a hard time waiting around when I know I could be doing something to resolve these questions....if I only knew which questions to resolve.

Patience is what I preach. I always advise my friends to "give it time". I don't really struggle with patience myself, but it's hard to practice what I preach with such a restless spirit. Nonetheless, it's what I need to do. It's what I have been doing, and will continue to do. That doesn't mean I can't hope to hear this question sooner rather than later.

So come on. Ask me already.

Day 8

Current weight: 242 lbs

2.5 lbs in a week? Most people would be happy with that, but I was expecting to double that in my first week of calorie counting. The problem there is, just because I was counting all week doesn't necessarily mean that I was limiting the calories. I started out pretty well, going more than two full days before my first cheat meal, but the wheels came off the bus after that.

There was plenty of good food around me at work in the middle of last week. That combined with a morning stop at McDonald's one of the days kept me off the wagon for a lot longer than I had hoped. I climbed back on late in the week, only to fall off again for most of the weekend. So with my back and forth eating pattern, I guess I am OK with a 2.5 lb loss for the week. I'd be happier if it was more, and I will be a lot happier if I can continue a constant loss pattern like this every week. 2.5 lbs per week over 6 months is approximately 65 lbs.

I am only looking to lose about 50 lbs, depending on how much muscle I add in that time, but if I can stay on pace for a loss like that, I will be in a good mood in a month or two. Something to look forward to, eh?

A big reason that I didn't reach my goal was the lack of workout time. My plans fell though even worse there than with the food. Part of it was dislocating my pinky toe on my right foot....again. I tried to run on it a few days afterward, and that was NOT happening. Even so, I should have done a lot more in terms of lifting....but I didn't.

Well, last week is gone. Nothing I can do now but make sure I implement this week's plan a little more effectively. One of the goals for the week is to go caffeine free. If that happens, you might want to avoid me during the evening around midweek. That shouldn't be too hard. With my school schedule, the only people I should even see around that time will be classmates.

Morning Music 3/25/09

I slept very soundly last night, but I just get up too effing early....I need me some good music. Let's see what the iPod has for me today.

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1. Gotta Serve Somebody- Bob Dylan. Ironic that this is the first random song as I start work.

2. The Greeting Song- Red Hot Chili Peppers.

3. Drown Me Slowly- Audioslave. I've always liked their sound, and this is one of the songs I like most from them.

Does

4. Still D.R.E.- Dr. Dre. The beats he laid for other artists (like Eminem) and himself around this time were completely infectious. I'm not sure that I could listen to songs like this on a regular basis nowadays, but it's good to hear every now and again.

anyone

5. The Carpel Tunnel of Love- Fall Out Boy. I'll never forget seeing the video for this song when I caught them at DTE Energy Music Theatre in beautiful Clarkston, MI.

ever

6. I Ran- Flock of Seagulls. One of the definitive songs of the 80s. Every time I hear it, I think of playing GTA: Vice City. That series of games is so addictive. I have already finished the storyline in GTA IV, but keep playing it anyway. It has replaced my poker addiction lately, but I kinda regret that....at least the poker can be profitable.

really

7. Riot- Wyclef featuring Serj Tankian. This is the first song off of Wyclef's Carnival II CD, which I had been waiting YEARS for by the time it finally came out. It's a great way to kick off the album, and the blend of Wyclef with Serj (lead singer of System of a Down) works a lot better than you would think.

read

8. Pain- Jimmy Eat World. I really think they would have had a little more staying power if they didn't have such a gimmicky name. I like a lot of their stuff, but I would never tell someone I am listening to a band called Jimmy Eat World.

between

9. You Make My Dreams- Hall and Oates. They have some pretty terrible songs don't they?(hopefully you are not reading this Kimmy) This song always makes me think of The Wedding Singer. Isn't Alexis Arquette scary?

the

10. Push It- Rick Ross. It's not nearly as good as Hustlin', the Katt Williams anthem, but it's still a catchy song. Good to see that hip-hop artists have started this new thing called sampling.

lines?

Overall this is a really good playlist for me. Only one song on here that I would skip over on a normal day. It's definitely helped me get through my morning, which has gotten a lot more hectic than I expected. Started this post at 7:22, not posted until more than two hours later. Although I am happy because me being busy=quick work day. No time to sit and think means no time to notice how tired I really am today. A nice virtual perk.

You Know That I Could Use Somebody....

Today's morning playlist was inspired by a good friend. One whose taste in music I completely respect, and that is saying a lot. A few weeks ago she gave me a song to check out as "homework". I must have listened to this song four or five times in a row right away, then promptly bought the album from iTunes.

I was already familiar with Kings of Leon, but had not heard the song Use Somebody until my homework assignment. I knew one of the songs on their new CD and really liked it, so after hearing Use Somebody and previewing a couple other songs, I knew this was a CD I wanted to buy.

By now I have probably heard every song on the CD at least once, but I am yet to listen to it from beginning to end....which is not like me. Well, today is the day. I'll have a relatively quiet morning, so it seems like a good opportunity to me.

Then after this I will have to bug her for another homework assignment. Her music taste is very similar to mine, which is probably why I respect it so much ;-). Actually, she is very much like me in many ways. I've referred to her as "my better half" on more than one occasion. We aren't married or anything, but she is kinda like a female version of me....except she wears a halo and I am comfortable with my horns. I am always eager to find out what she's got piped into her ears at any given time, so I hope she has something ready for me today.

Day 1

Tomorrow (more accurately, later today) will be my first day of crazy calorie counting. I've done this before, and I know how well it works for me....but I am not looking forward to it. The first couple weeks are so hard, but also the most important. I give myself a little leeway here and there to cheat, but nothing outrageous, and that helps to get me through. If I can keep the cheating to the bare minimum in the next two weeks, it will set a great tone for the next 6 months.

For a couple years now I have had a standing agreement with my mom. If I can drop down to 200 lbs or less, she will quit smoking. The last time I weighed less than that, I was a teenager. According to the personal trainer I consulted last week, it won't be very easy for me to do. With the amount of lean mass I have on my body, I would probably need to get my body fat percentage into the single digits to drop below 200. I know that it's not always easy obtaining something you want, but I have shown more motivation for a number of things in the last year than I had in the previous 5 or so. I broke out of my rut a few months back, hopefully this is the start of a new, rut-free, journey.

Starting weight: 244.5

Lets see exactly how quickly I can get to 200, and what my body fat percentage is when I get there.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes....

It's been a hectic couple of weeks, and it's nice to have some time to chill out and organize my thoughts. I've got some serious thinking to do, and even though it seems like I have a decent amount of time to make one major decision, it's going to seem like no time at all I am sure.

The world works in strange ways. You can spend most of your life dreaming about something, then when you finally realize it's just a dream and move on....it doesn't take but a minute to drop back into your lap and say, "Here I am!"

After years of hoping to find a path that will take me where I need to be, since I didn't know where that was, I finally know my destination and can see plenty of paths to get there. Now I just have to choose the one that fits me best.

Along the way I know I will have to give up a lot, but how much is too much? At what point will I give away so much that I end up losing myself in the process?

I have changed a lot over the years, and am definitely not afraid of change. Little by little, we all change every day. It's a gradual process with some big jumps here and there, but real change takes time. It has to. Even if you quit something cold turkey, you still crave it. Over time you won't crave it anymore. One day, you can even forget about it.

My issue here is figuring out how much I can walk away from in a short period of time, given the recent changes I've already gone through. I know I will figure out what is best for me....I just hope it's sooner rather than later.

If Your Body Matches What Your Eyes Can Do....

Another morning that I have to get up and go to work....another random playlist. Today I let Mr. iPod select all the songs for me. It won't be long before I am writing a post titled R.i.P.od, so I might as well let him have his fun while he still can.

1. Paralyzer- Finger 11. I pretty much love this song. Great way to start the day. I couldn't have picked a better song myself. Thanks iPod.

2. Rapid Hope Loss- Dashboard Confessional. I need to ban most of their songs from my shuffle playlists. This is too "ugh" for a Friday morning. I don't want any of this lover's lament crap. I want something peppy, something happy, something up-tempo. I want something snappy. Or maybe this is iPod's way of telling me I need to provide someone a confessional by the dashboard light....or maybe I just read too much into things.

3. Ghosts, some number, one of the fours discs- Nine Inch Nails. Ironically, after thinking about how my iPod was going to crash soon, I had a problem with it freezing up after the 6th song on my shuffle playlist, so I can't go back and see exactly which track off the the album this was. I just know it was one of the more NIN-ish tracks, and it was only about 2:30 in duration. A nice rebound from the Dashboard song.

4. Torch- Alanis Morissette. So my iPod is definitely bipolar today. Back to the sad, weepy stuff. That being said, I actually like this song. I've never thought Alanis was a great singer, but I have always respected her songwriting. I don't know exactly what it is about her latest album, whether it's the fact that she seems so much less bitter now than she used to or the fact that this album is mostly about her very public breakup a couple years ago, but I really like a lot of the songs on the CD. I'll probably listen to it in full later today.

5. Ring of Fire- Johnny Cash. YES!

6. I've Got You Under My Skin- Frank Sinatra. Great song detailing how easy it can be to fall for someone you really shouldn't, even as you remind yourself what a bad idea it is. "Don't you know little fool, you never can win. Use your mentality, wake up to reality...." I'm sure stories like this go back to the beginning of time, and will continue on well after I am gone. I'm just not sure why. We all have the capacity to make the right decisions. For the most part, we know what we should do in situations such as this....but it doesn't always work out that way. All I know is, this is a subject for a lengthier post somewhere down the line.

7. Loving the Alien- Velvet Revolver. I always dug this song, but never could have told you the name of it until this morning.

8. Do Me a Favour- Arctic Monkeys.

9. One Night in Bangkok- Murray Head. I think I like the extra long intro more than I like the song.

10. Baba O'Riley- The Who. Also known as Teenage Wasteland to those who aren't fans of The Who. I have always absolutely loved this song, but I need to skip though it because it doesn't sound the same with only one ear bud in. Some songs you need to hear in stereo to get the full effect, and this is one of them.

I'm Back

I am.

Morning Music 3/16/09

As promised, here's what I started the day off with today.

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I totally randomized the playlist today (as you will see by the first song) because I didn't have anything in mind other than just getting that Patti LaBelle song out of my head. I also started it in the car on the way to work instead of at my desk. I was desperate to get rid of that song before it got any worse.
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1. Every Time (In the Zone Remix)- Britney Spears. The only Britney song I have on my iPod. I like this remix, even though I don't like the original song. They change her voice enough in this mix to make it sound kinda like a chipmunk, which is waaaay less annoying than her real voice. That being said, I think "If You Seek Amy" might make it onto my iPod sooner or later. It's starting to grow on me.

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2. Give it Away- Red Hot Chili Peppers. Been a while since I've heard this classic, and it was a very welcome surprise.

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3. Hammerhead- Offspring. I really like this song. One of the two off their new CD I listen to on a somewhat regular basis. It's pretty much a standard Offspring song, and sounds like 90% of their work since back in the day, but the guitar in this song really gets me going. Just what I need the morning following no sleep.

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4. 33 Ghosts IV- NIN. From the recently released 2-disc instrumental album. I am not used to hearing just one of these tracks at a time. Most of NINs music is best when heard from beginning of CD to the end, and even more so with this album. It's great background music for just about anything. Never too loud, never too soft....it's what we listened to in the room on NYE before hitting the casino, and everyone liked it even though I was the only NIN fan there.

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5. Stand Up- Flobots. I wasn't very impressed with this CD other than Handlebars, but the lyrics of the songs (especially this one) are somewhat thought provoking, if not a little too political for me.

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6. Flathead- The Fratellis. This is just a fun song overall. Upbeat tempo. Another good choice from Mr. iPod.

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7. Sophia- Bif Naked. Still know the words to this song. Nothing special though.

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8. Dance Floor Anthem- Good Charlotte. Definitely the song I would have chosen from them, but still not bad. I guess it's good to listen to the deeper cuts every now and again.

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9. The Crawl- Placebo. In this song the androgyny of Brian Molko is VERY apparent. At times he sounds like he should be performing at The Birdcage.

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10. Cult of Personality- In Living Colour. The perfect ending to my morning playlist. One of my favorite "get up" songs ever. This is also one of those songs that has one distinct memory tied to it that I think of every time I hear it. It's nothing that would be memorable for any reason really, but coincidentally this song was playing when it happened.

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If....You....Ask Me To

One of the great things about listening to a news radio station in the morning as I get ready for and drive to work is that I never get stupid songs I don't like stuck in my head. Except for today that is. I guess Patti LaBelle is coming to town soon, because they keep playing an ad for her on the station I listen to. As I showered this morning, they played a little bit of this song and it got firmly lodged inside my cranium.

I had intended to go iPodless today because I have a lot of work to do in preparation for the next couple days, but with that running through my head before I left for work I decided I needed a way to counteract it. Thankfully I didn't hear the radio ad on my way to work after leaving my iPod at home for the day.

So instead of a stupid song I don't like being stuck in my head, I am currently listening to Right Round by Flo Rida....a stupid song I actually like. This will surely get stuck in my head, but I am OK with that.

Since I intended to go iPodless today, there obviously wasn't going to be a shuffle post for this morning....but that has now changed and my loyal readers will be treated to at least one more post later today. I know, I know....I spoil you, but I am OK with that as well.

Marketing

I feel a little weak. I think I just got sucked into going to see Watchmen just because they used a Muse song in the last commercial I saw for it....well, that and Kelly Leak is in it.

1,000,000

....I feel a million miles away, I don't feel anything at all.

Without being too over dramatic, this is about where I am right now. Tuesday is a huge day for me and I have been stressing about it for a while now. To combat that, I needed to shut down my emotions. This is my superpower, being able to do this.

Until yesterday, I had been working on a project the likes of which the world has never seen. OK that may be a little much, but it was quite an effort for me to get this done. To do this project, I needed to tap deep into my emotions and couldn't shut them out until all the work was finished early yesterday.

Last night I suggested a friend go here and download the latest CD from Nine Inch Nails. The band has offered this as a FREE DOWNLOAD so there is no reason not to get it and listen to it at least once. This is not really what I would call a "concept album", but the songs are arranged the way they are with great purpose. I suggest you listen to it from beginning to end in one sitting to best experience The Slip.

After making the suggestion last night, I figured The Slip would make a great Friday morning CD, especially considering the lyrics up top here from the song 1,000,000. I didn't really need any motivation this morning, but it's always great to listen to NIN. Yesterday I said that Bob Dylan could do no wrong in my eyes. Trent Reznor is very much the same to me.

I've heard the two compared before and while it's not a comparison I would make, I guess I am kind of OK with it. I've said plenty of times that Conor Oberst is the closest thing I've heard to Bob Dylan since Dylan himself, but I put Reznor on the same level as Dylan and not below him as I do Oberst. Add to that the fact that the brilliance of Reznor is much different than that of Dylan, and I am just not comfortable in saying that Reznor is like Bob Dylan. It may be petty of me to be bothered by the fact that it's just the wording of the statement I have a problem with, but considering these two men are the pinnacle of lyricism to me....I don't have a problem being petty about it.

OK. Coming back from that tangent now, where I had intended to go was to say that I am constantly amazed by the way Reznor expresses feelings. The song Echoplex is a great example. It follows the biggest mainstream song (Discipline) on the album, and that's always a tough place to fit a song. This song doesn't back down or lose any value following the big hit, and in just four lines says something I have known and felt for many years, but could never find the right words to express.

I'm safe in here
irrelevant
just like they said
my voice just echoes off these walls

I consider myself somewhat of a wordsmith, but I could never come up with something like this on my own. Sixteen words. A truly insignificant amount, with an infinite reach. I can't think of anyone I know that this hasn't applied to at least once in their life. It's gems like this that always leave me wanting more NIN.